why are poeple?

Question

why are people so against a women under the age of 20 having a child
of course under 16 cause well there not legal yet but what is the main problem with that cause all i ever hear and get my self ur too young 2 have a child shouldnt age really matter alongest the child is brought up right?

because i am 19 and 34weeks pregnant and having people come 2 me saying ur young

Answer 1

I don't know. Honestly. Although, personally I'm for waiting until age 18, because at 16 you can't even get a full time job yet. But at 18, if you have a good job, your own place, and are emotionally ready for a child, then why not? I had my daughter at 20, and now, at 21, I'm pregnant with number 2 and couldn't be happier.

EDIT//
And as for what Kelsey said up there. That's absolutely not true. My HUSBAND, yes husband, makes more money then either his or my parents. I'm in college still. I think it's a horrible sterotype that just because someone has children young, that they most likely "had an accident or their mother is a slut, aren't financially stable, ruined their lives, etc".

Answer 2

woman in our history, and in many places around the world have children in their teens. It's our modern society that makes it unadvisable, even if your an excellant mother, because to give the child the upbringing that you want it to have is expensive. You want it to have a stable home, be well fed and dressed, have adequate health care, and an education. You must have a good education/job to provide these things. If you must work long hours at one or two low paying jobs, then your not there physically and emotionally for your child., and child care is expensive.
The most important thing is love, of course, and I bet you already have that. Plan ahead as much as possible. Work while you can, find out what supports for parents are available in your area, is there a college, might it have a childcare, and possibly grants to pay for it? Who are the supportive people in your life? Where can you get low cost items, yardsales, friends who have a child outgrowing items etc. Sometimes churches, social services, or medical clinics have parent support groups. You may feel you don't need one but if the person you spend most of your time with is babbling, you start to feel yor losing brain cells.You want to set goals for yourself and the baby so both of you can be proud of you-age doesn't make you a good or bad parent, personality,maturity, and being willing to place someone elses needs before your own does.

Answer 3

I became pregnant with my first son when I was 16, graduated and had him when I was 17. The reason adults do not want girls having babies before they are 20, is because they want us to enjoy our childhood, go out with friends, get in trouble, have a chance to go to school, and not worry about child care at the same time. They want us to have stable jobs, a house, a husband, and a car, without struggling to get it. Things you cannot do even at the age of 19. When you are below the age of 20, the chances of you having a stable life are slim. I have nothing against you believe me, this is not an insult. I am a 21 year old Mommy of two. But I have struggled, and because I have struggled, I now know why my parents told me they wished I had waited to have children. Because they wanted my life to be easier. I never regret having my boys. I love them more than life. But I a still able to step back and see where they are coming from. They just love me that is all.

Also I have found in most of my friends, being that most of them are much older than me, it takes a person well into their 20's to find out who they really are and what they want to be, and this is harder to do with a child.

As for strangers telling to what they think of how you re living your life, they should mind their own business, if you know you are doing the right thing, their comments will not bother you. Brush their words off and move on!

I wish you luck in the future! Feel free to message me anytime! Good Luck with your baby!

Answer 4

u know what im 20 with my 2nd on the way....people who have a problem are neive.....we can still be good moms....and my son was born when i was 19 i have and had a pretty good job since before he was born i graduated high school, own my own home, and have a jobe that pays hourley, plus commisions, plus a $100 bonus if u beat every1 in the dept......so u know what i have to say to the people who say were to young is back off and mind your own business if we didnt think we could handle it we would have seeked alternate routes...so would they rather have everyone who gets pregnant at a young age getting abortions? i think thats worse...we are giving our children a chance to become something BIG!! you go girl if ur happy thats all that matters...and you know what i got married at 19...my hubby and i work opposites so we don't need a babysitter, we just took our son to disney world for a week....and go on small vacas all the time... i don't think ppl relize times have changed WE CAN DO IT if not the same BETTER!

Answer 5

True, but have a baby too young puts too much stress on your body. Also you haven't enjoyed life enough. Trust me I just had my second baby I'm in my twenties and it's also a lot of work and barely any time to myself. If you are thinking about having a baby consider going on with life first, are you done with everything you ever wanted to do?

For those of you posting that people that have children at a young age are irresponsible is total BS!!!! I had my first daughter when I was 21 and I just had another a month ago. I didn't give up. I can hold a job and support myself if I needed to BUT I have a husband that takes care of us and yes these are his kids.

And another thing what about those young girls that don't believe in abortion and they get raped and have a baby! THAT'S NOT THEIR fault. And to call people like that irresponsible is well stupid.

If a person is ready emotionally as well as financially for a child then go for it.

Answer 6

While I disagree that women under 20 are too immature to have children, I do agree that they are not financially able to care for a child. If you are going to have a baby, your parents shouldn't be the ones paying for EVERYTHING. You had this child, you have to pay for it. It's an ageist lie that "babies shouldn't be having babies". 16-17 is hardly a "baby" and they would be having children at that age 200 years ago. But, back then you could get money without an education. Now... you can't. Do your future child a favor and make sure it doesn't grow up on the salary of a Mcdonalds cashier.

xx

Why do I keep being negative rated? What? Oh because I said your babies aren't babies at 17? Get over it, I never said they should have kids. I said they aren't making enough money to do so.

Answer 7

Lots of reasons, to start with having a child means you will always be putting baby first, always, no you time, no time for school, play, work, vacations, no time to grow up yourself. No sleep, no rest. You think you have ever done anything 24/7? Wait...babies are 34/7. Its terribly hard to raise a child on your own, yes I know women do it all the time, most of them manage, but without a child you can actuallly have time to breathe and find out who you are and what you want.
Its not like you will never have a child, in time you will, by that time you will be able to afford it better, and if you are really smart, you won't be getting pregnant without the ring...yes, shocking notion, marry first, baby nine months later. Why?
Its easier with two to care for baby, its easier to go through labor, pregnancy and delivery with someone who loves you.
and its better for baby to have a stable life. Stable men aren't easy to find, and you have the time to do that when you don't have a baby to worry about. Stable men also like stable women, and having a child can be a warning sign that a woman doesn't make good choices. Sad but true.
Children don't make good parents. I'm saying this and I was married and barely 19 when I had my first, and I was a good parent, but I also had a husband and a family and a strong social network, and it still wasn't enough, my husband wasn't grown up enough for the responsiblity even though he was five years older than me.
The main problem is that you cheat yourself of so much by taking on so much so young. Love yourself enough to keep the babies away until you are old enough to be able to give heart and soul to someone who needs all you have.

EDIT

Then I'm sorry, I really am that you have been getting flack but they do have their reasons, once your pregnancy is apparent they might as well keep their mouths shut when you are around, we didn't know, they could see for themselves so they are rude.

Answer 8

Y Cymry yn bendant, The Welsh definatly. even though it annoys me that folk say that the final public of the South communicate English and then North communicate Welsh that's incorrect, this is West East chop up in Wales no longer a North South Divide. Welsh is Spoken as a results of fact the final public language as far south as a results of fact the top Swansea Valleys and to Pontardawe to the East and the main of Western powys to Clwyd and then Gwynedd, Sir Fôn, Ceredigion, Northern Pembrokeshire and Carmarthenshire. All them areas are Welsh first then English. Carmarthenshire, Northern Pembrokeshire, Southern Ceredigion, South Western Powys, Northern Swansea and Western Neath and portalbot are all interior the south. the human beings of North East Wales are not greater Welsh than us neither are places in Gwynedd o'r Sir fôn the place i stay has the optimal form of Welsh audio device for any community authority in Wales and the international. Carmarthenshire although if on the grounds it somewhat is a super county the proportion will become much less.

Answer 9

I don't think it's a good idea because I know how much I changed during my early 20's. (Thanks to my university experiences.) I'm 27 and have a 3 month old daughter. I feel confident that my personality is fully formed and my values and views on life are well consolidated. I don' t think anyone should have kids until they feel the same way. How can you bring up your children properly until you have very clear and specific ideas on what properly even entails?
Anyway, now that you are pregnant, strangers coming up to tell you off is just bad manners. Friends and family should be offering support, not criticising.

Answer 10

there are tons of reasons why having a baby before 20 can be a bad idea.

1. raising a child at a young age is tough on the person and the child. when your in your 20s and under, you have opportunities. you could go to college, get a nice job, hang out with friends, go to bars...what happens when you have a kid? do you want to hire a baby sitter for you child while you try to go to college and work a job so you can pay for diapers, clothes, baby food, doctors appointments, etc. do your friends want to come over and party while they hear your baby screaming? NO!

when your under 20, your still much of a kid. its hard to raise a child! at that age, you aren't as patient, you don't have the time...there are tons of cases in which kids are ABUSED when their parents are under 20 because teenagers don't have the patience and ability to sit at home for 6 hours while their baby cries and cries and throws up and kicks and screams and then runs away. its terrible.

2. its unhealthy. its unhealthy for a baby and for the girl having the baby. usually when you are a teen, your body isn't ready to hold a child (no matter how man periods you have gotten), and you don't have as much strength as older women.

3. your giving away your life. sometimes when young girls have kids, they hate their children. you believe the child is what made them hate life and not be able to have fun-- and even though its not the babies fault, its half true. having the baby did mess up they're young, fun life and make them irritable and cranky and always concerned.


its not that having a kid at a young age is TERRIBLE, but usually they are NOT brought up right. usually they are abused, thrown in orphanages, or just blamed for ruining their parents.

sometimes it works out great, dont get me wrong. some people are very responsible take on having a baby, and they grow to love their child and raise a wonderful person, but thats only "sometimes."

women under the age of 20 and usually not ready for children. thats why.