I need advise from married people (male/female)!?

Question

I was sure I wanted to get married, but a lot of people say I shouldn't yet... Is marriage really that great (how long have you been married?).

Answer 1

9 years.....you can and should get married when you find someone you are willing to spend the rest of your life with - for better or worse, richer or poorer, sick or healthy. Marriage is not meant to be a revolving door or something you can get out of when you find someone you think is better or richer or hotter.....so wait on the right person and don't focus so much on the status. Best of luck!

Answer 2

Buyer beware / Single person beware.

When you go into a hardware store to buy a pair of gloves, you buy only a pair that fits. You'd agree that if you bought a pair to tight or too loose that you would be out of your gourd. You won't be persuaded by the looks, but by the fit and the feel of the glove.

Too bad we cannot be as objective about picking a mate. Yes there are people who fit us way better than other people. The trick is to find such a one. They are called soul mates and stuff like that. The problem is that when we go shopping for a mate, we are not objective. Our needs are screaming for attention. All candidates are on their best behavior at first because their needs make it mandatory that they treat the other person special in order to get their needs met. So how can you tell if the person is genuine or just putting on a temporary act? Tell you the truth, the majority of people have been suckered. They live with wives and husbands who are a far cry from the dating stage. It is typical that after a few years, the woman refuses sex which increases unfaithfulness in the man. Most marriages are bad, but there are some nice exceptions. The good marriages are in the minority, so wise up and choose wisely. Maybe you can avoid being in the vast majority. My advice, don't rush into marriage as if this is the last chance you have to find someone. That is the need talking. Listen to your friends. They are more objective. I would spare you a miserable life. What mouse trap looks like a trap to a mouse? Or wolf bait to a wolf? No, it looks all attractive until the trap snaps shut. On average a marriage stays nice for two years. After that is goes downhill. That is as long as people can hold out pretending to be loving. Best to marry a friend whom you come to love.

Answer 3

I don't know if you really want to be taking advice about marriage from people on the internet. Besides, every marriage is different and nobody knows if your marriage will be worth it or not. It is a personal opinion really.

You see, I have been married for six and a half years but I am separated and will be getting a divorce hopefully soon on the account of my cheating husband, and the only thing that makes my marriage worth anything are my four beautiful children.

So, I will tell you to follow your heart and do a little soul searching because after all, a marriage is supposed to be "for better or for worse" and most marriages have both.

If you are having doubts though, you might want to hold off on the wedding a little longer until you know what you want for sure. Good luck and I am sure you will make the right choice for yourself!

Answer 4

I'm a year into my second marriage and really happy with it, but man, I wish the first one had never happened.

Take it from me: If you're not sure you're in love and this is the ONE for you and nobody else could ever replace him/her, don't get married. If you aren't sure you're ready, wait a bit. If you're thinking of trying marriage just to see if it's nicer than non-marriage...wait. And if you sit down with your sweetie and talk about the future and you aren;t at least starting out with the same idea about what your relationship is going to be like after you get married, wait a bit and talk some more. There is so much pressure on marriages these days because it seems like you're supposed to be everything to each other. When you're roommates, friends, lovers, parents, financial partners and confidants, there's a lot that can go wrong and if you don't really love the other person and want to make things work, it can be so draining to try to go through the motions of trying to fix things.

On the other hand, getting married is so romantic. It's nice to be able to believe someone is always going to be there for you and it's wonderful to be able to give them that assurance back. I think being married makes us a stronger and happier couple.

Answer 5

I've been married for 42 years, have 3 sons 2 daughters-in-law and 2 GRAND children.

I am speaking from experience! To have a great marriage,

#1 requirement Commitment
#2 requirement Commitment
#3 requirement Commitment, etc. etc

I have seen perfect marriages on the TV, in movies and novels. In real life it's hard work, God's grace and the right attitude to marriage.

Make sure that your partner has the same philosophy towards marriage. If both of you are not committed to staying married, it's too easy to quit.

Another reason why people quit is, they think they see 'perfect marriages' and 'perfect spouses' all around them but fail to realize that they are all basically the same.

All marriages have challenges and and great rewards. Be ready for both!

Answer 6

With the right person,its the greatest thing on earth. You must also be ready for the challenges of marriage which most young people under 25 arent quite ready for and thus rush in and right back out again at the first sign of trouble. There will always be people who willadvice against marriage for whatever reason but if youre sure thats what you truly want then you must follow your heart on this. Been married 27 years now with 2 adult daughters, 1 son in law, 1 fantastic 19 month old grandson and would do it all over again

Answer 7

It definatly has it's ups and downs. Any relationship does when you live with someone, but it's even more prevalent when you're married, since if you get sick of the situation, you can't just break up with them easily and move on. If you think that you are ready, go for it. Just know that most marriages are a lot of work, and it's not an easy ride. Talk to your future wife about things that are going to be important to the two of you, kids,finances, work...etc....things you should discuss before marriage. (I've been married for 4 years)

Answer 8

Advice from female - married 16 years:

Don't be in too much of a rush to be married. The love of your life will always be there, no longer how long you wait. Marriage takes work on both parts to keep it going and to keep both of you happy. You both WILL do things that irritate the other. Be willing to work things out and never go to bed angry. Resolve your differences timely and without meanness or accusations. LISTEN to what your mate has to say, and let them know how you feel. Remember that your spouse is not able to read your mind. They may not know your needs if you don;t tell them. Most of all, don't walk out or throw it all away after a disagreement.
Good luck to you both!

Answer 9

I've been married to my wife for three years and my brother has been married to his for 26. I've been through a bad marriage as well.
If you are with a mate who is not as committed as you are it can be very tough. You'll work and work at it and get no where because the other person just doesn't care like you. My former marriage was horrible. I worked two jobs, did the cooking, shopping, laundry and most of the cleaning. It didn't happen over night, but because I wanted my wife to be happy and she didn't care as much about my happiness I nearly killed myself by slow degrees. After 4 marriage couselors and no progress I finally called it quits. But I didn't call it quits on love brother.
I met a wonderful woman who loved me as much as I loved her, and I am now the most happily married person I know.
One of the most important things we did though was to attend premarriage counseling. It is a must. We were quickly able to asertain where we were different and talk through those things before we wed.
Also, you and who ever you marry need to realize one very important thing. Marriage is work. Not a drudgery. But something you and your mate need to work at every day.

To answer your your question after all that, is marriage really that great? Yes it is. I couldn't imagine life without my wife. She is a daily comfort and strength to me. The one person I can always rely on no matter what. Are there bad days? sure. The best of us have em. But even on our worst days we both know we wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

Answer 10

i've only been married for 4 years, but i can tell you that marraige is not bliss or complete happiness. marraige is nice in the ways like you get to spend pretty much all of your free time with the person you love, who for me was my best friend, and you work together as a team to make a life that you both dreamed about which is cool, and the kids....that's been the most amazing part for me is having a son with my husband. but keeping a marraige together is the hardest thing i've ever done. it's easy to get fed up with someone who you see everyday, and it would be so easy to walk out sometimes, it's very hard, but it's worth it if you are ready for it. i got married when i was 20 and so i guess the hardest thing for me is facing the fact that i can't live a 'young' life anymore, so if you are young, then you really should think deeply about it before you decide to take the plunge. good luck.

Answer 11

Been married 26 years knew my wife for 6 months before that. Marriage is what you put into it easy NO worth it Yes. Again depends on how much you want to put into it and how much you want it to work.Has to be a both sided affair. Many trials and tribulations especially when raising kids, the reward is the grandchildren. Takes time, understanding, giving in, and the most important part, is being best friends throughout it all.