Hi, I met my wife through a family friend 3 years ago. It was kind of arrange marriage. She was beautiful when I met her. After dating for 6 months, we got married. She put on 90 pounds weight and now she is not beautiful anymore. I still do not want to leave her, but when I tell her to do something about it , she fights with me like anything. She thinks I am an asshole thinking about looks and does not really love her.
we are married for over 2 years now and we hardly had sex for 15 times since we have got married. She does not want it. Last time we had sex was 4 months ago, she does not want to do it. I think she does not love me at all. I tried to get divorce once and left house but because of her family pressure we decided to give another chance to our relationship. but still its the same. Now she does not want to leave me because of her family and not because she wants me. I do not know what to do now.
2007-07-07 12:30:28 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
shrink.
for her, and for your marriage.
everyone says they still will love someone when they put on weight, but the truth of the matter is, if someone puts on that much weight, depression goes with it, and they are a changed person. She probably can't see this. If its worth saving, she needs to talk to someone, and you need to talk to someone together.
other wise, you have to do whats best for you, and leave.
2007-07-07 13:57:54 · answer #1 · answered by Kaja 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i tell you this--i wouldn't go and tell my wife that she needs to lose weight--maybe you both can do something together to get some exercise--don't expect her to do it with support from you--its nice to get encouragement when losing weight but i don't think that you would be the type to give support lol---the other thing is how can you expect her to want to have sex with you when you've apparently let her know that she is fat or at least that's what you think about her---i wouldn't want to get naked with you either if you told me I'm fat....what do you expect? its not that she doesn't love you at all probably--its because you have made her feel bad about herself--and not she isn't confident about how she looks--and that is partly your fault---if you want to help her then get on her side and be king with your words and help her--if not, no matter what the reason just get a divorce so she can find someone that can love her whether she is a little overweight or not--hope this helps and good luck!
2007-07-07 20:00:56 · answer #2 · answered by TWIN91 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
seems like your wife is having an emotional and physical meltdwon. with her weight she wouldnt feel comfortable having sex, but she wont change. when it comes to being together under other peoples expectations there is really no more love in this relationship, if she doesnt want to leave then she should change and start to love you again, if not then its best to let go, with you and her being unhappy whats the future gonna be like
2007-07-07 19:59:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
couple factors. explain to her like you did to us about her weight. tell her you love her offer to diet and exercise with her, but the damage has already been done to her ego. the woman is very fragile when it comes to body image. council this one out , then make the offer to exercise and diet with her. i would not say anything about her body for a long time start with the counseling
2007-07-11 18:11:53 · answer #4 · answered by mytwoboyz1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have waited on the marriage part, so it was arranged, this sounds like a headache.
2007-07-07 19:33:51 · answer #5 · answered by kim t 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage counseling. Definitely sounds right for you :)
Good luck!!
2007-07-07 19:33:43 · answer #6 · answered by Tanya 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋