Custody of our son..?

Question

I NOW have a protective order on my EX-fiance. Which is GREAT because he was terribly abusive in every way.
However, I will be giving birth in Nov to our son (i was on birth control b4 you guys start asking) and when I asked the Attorney about custody once he is born she said that more than likely the judge will grant split custody!She claimes that if there is not harm to the child so far then they won't deny him rights. BUT, isn't it the same thing if Im pregnant and he is physical with me than it means that he IS doing harm to the baby?!??
I would love for my son to get to know his dad one day but his dad really doesn't care, he still remained abusive and wouldn't stop drinking!
I can't even count the times since I left him that I tried to involve him in doctors visits and he went but always fighting with me because he wanted me back and I did not want that,all I wanted was a "parent" relationship 4 the sake of the baby.
So why will they give it to him if he's a proven offender!?

this was the DA office og the city that told me that he would more than likely get some rights.
i made the mistake of not calling thte cops while we were together. but i have my parents as witnesses and a picture from his ex wife of the damage he has done.
we were not yet married, i cancelled the wedding later to find out i was pregnant.
** BUT I STILL DIDNT RETURN, THIS TIME FOR MY CHILDS SAKE!**

we live in TEXAS.. not sure if this helps for the legal aspect!

to the one that doesnt read ... i only have 1 child, it is not born yet, and he requested to go to the dr vists but obviously only w/ the intention of gettingme back.
i BY "parent" relationship, thos means, *being able to tak to the other parent on good terms so that you dont have to involve your kids in GROWN UP ISSUES** (ex: picking up/dropping off hours, child support, ect)

Answer 1

I know few rational judges who would let him see the child at all! He has no legal standing as a father. He won't be on the birth certificate unless you allow him to sign the affidavit. I wouldn't let him sign it!

If he is drunk and abusive, I can just imagine his reaction when the child starts to cry and ends up in a coma, or dead, from Shaken Baby Syndrome!

If you allow him to see the child without a court order, with a restraining order, SRS might look for you as well!

Nor trying to scare you, but this is how kids get killed. I have seen it over and over and over again! I have had many SBS babies who ended up in the pedi ICU at the Children's Hospital at Dartmouth! All for the crime of crying!

And until he establishes paternity he has no visitation rights. After that I am sure you want to give the court as much history as you are able. Sit down, write it out, get police reports, keep your DV petitions ands any medical record you may have!

If he is dangerous to you, just think of what he represents to someone who is unable to defend themselves!

Answer 2

I'm not sure of the legality of custody rights concerning a new born, but looking at it from a realistic point of view, and the fact that he can't stop drinking, do you really think that he will want split custody of an infant and the responsibiliy that goes along with it? And if there is a "possibility" that he's an alcoholic, you can report it so the court can order an evaluation and assesment. The court will not give joint custody to an alcoholic parent. That's just common sence.
What I'm confused about is, why would you want a "parent relationship" with someone that is abusive and can't stop drinking?? If he doesn't care for the son he has now, why would you think he would care about the baby you're having in November? And if it's causing a problem taking him to the doctor's visits, why are you insisting that he goes with you?
You need to get your act together for the sake of your kids, because there is WAY too much child abuse in this country and too many parents letting it happen by not doing anything about an obvious problem.
If the court is "somewhat" working with you now by keeping him away from you now, do your part and keep him away from you, your son and the baby in the future. Wake up!

Answer 3

Sounds like you need a new attorney. First, DO NOT the ex's name on the birth certificate. Then he will have to sue to establish legal paternity. Few judges would award joint custody of an infant. Probably none would do so. If you are not married there would not even be a custody hearing unless the father files for it. It doesn't sound like he is interested enough to do that, or to spend money doing it. Any way, your attorney is 100% wrong. Maybe she is hoping to milk your case for more money as many attorneys are wont to do.

Answer 4

After 4 years, a choose would be VERYhesitant to alter the present custody. once you back him up with purely about all those police comments and shielding orders, getting replaced is extremely no longer likely. Soimply placed, you ex is making threates to sacer you. AND it somewhat is working! Don;t permit it! hire a lawyer, adn inform you ex to f--- off. Ask your lawyer to document papers such that your ex has to pay YOUR court docket costs of he loses. many cases, the greater desirable financial load will cause them to think of somewhat tougher approximately submitting. And, quit the whining concerning to the undesirable hygene. "diverse residing house, diverse regulations". in view which you no logner stay mutually, you haven't any longer have been given any proper or reason to tell HIM a thank you to stay. he's a foul-a$$ slob, yet that doesn't make him a undesirable father. Complaining approximately this in court docket will make you look truly stupid interior the judges eyes. DROP IT, and carry on with the fundamentals -- something you may prepare with police comments and former court docket orders. shop YOUR HEAD SCREWED ON!! He can SAY something he needs, yet truly a metamorphosis of custody is extremely no longer likely.

Answer 5

If he is not interested in the baby now, perhaps he won't be interested once the baby is born. If he doesn't take you to court over custody you have nothing to worry about. Have you ever had him arrested for abusing you? If so you can show cause for having him have only supervised visits with the baby.