What's wrong with a person if they do not like ugly children?

Question

(mature answers please)

I have a sister who does NOT like "less attractive" children. She won't give them the same attention as she would an attractive child. For example, they get neglected more often and more spankings than the attractive children, etc.

What in the world do you think is wrong with her?! She won't even let her child play with "ugly children". Does anyone else feel this way?! Is there some kind of theory behind this?! What does this say about a person?

Answer 1

Wow, i think that your sister is indeed quite selfish and may even be a perfectionist, since everybody has their own opinion about beauty ask her how would she feel if someone thought that her child was ugly or unatractive??Maybe she has some kind of insecurity , and i would suggest counseling, beacuse i think that this behavior is not normal....(my opinion)

Answer 2

I don't know what is wrong with people like that, but there are plenty of other folks just like your sister. I've witnessed this sort of thing since I was a very young child and it makes me sick watching or hearing an adult treat the less physically attractive child as a lesser human being.

Something is definitely not right in the way these people think, but unfortunately they become school teachers, parents, scout leaders, even Sunday school teachers, and never seem to give a second thought to the effect their attitude will have on an innocent child.

I know I didn't answer your question, but the only theory I have on the subject is the adult must be so insecure about his/her own looks that surrounding themselves with what they perceive to be beautiful people will somehow how make them better people.........really, it is beyond me how people can allow looks to play such a major role in their relationships.

Answer 3

There is no theory. She simply likes what she likes and is making her own choices... sadly these misguided choices are being imposed on her children who will grow up to see a one sided world and devolve socially into an adult with narrow minded preconceptions about appearance actually meaning something. I am guessing this person is extremely into themselves and thinks very highly of her own appearance... someday, it will not be there and the choices made now will hurt much more then when she is unable to associate with the 'hordes of freaks' she once scorned who are now here peers.

Surley people "feel this way": appearance is the number one trait attached to attraction. Basing anyhting other than surface issues on attraction is naive and shows that the person doing so is happy enough skimming the surface and never going deeper to the real issues caring more about someones looks than the 99.99% otherwise which is their person. The adjective "shallow" I think would fit here. It's not a disease, simply a socially instituted way of functioning due to lack of exposure to real world emotionally charged interactions and an "I could care less" approach to anyone different than them. Don't worry, she'll never be alone as long as she never realizes how carrying such views makes her uglier than anyone she is judging.

Answer 4

I think your sister lover children, more because of their beauty from out side than because of they childhoods.

I have watched a docementary on TV years ago, it was about keeping babies in the same room with photos of ugly people and good looking people, all babies spend way more time for looking at good looking photoies than ugly photos. In my understanding, the knowledge of judging who and what is beautiful is born with us, some are effected by this design for less, some for more

Also it is well known in recent years-Criminal and Justice that criminals are tend to be ugly in average.

Therefore she is properly the kind who get an affection turn off for ugly children, because her instinct and experiences (That ugly children are naghtier) demand so and she does not criticaise her own actions with the great power of mirror.

I thingk there is nothing wrong with her, to help her for what your moral tell you is better for her, just INFORM her what you see and how you think. This is what family is for----look out for each other ;) right?

Answer 5

I'm not a psychologist, but it seems to me that your sister just wants the world to be perfect. The problem with this is her ideas are going to rub off on her children & that is one way bullies are created. Kids need to be allowed to be free. What exactly does your sister class as "Ugly"? One person might see an ugly child while another may think the child is beautiful.
To be honest though,the only thing I think is ugly is your sisters attitude. She needs to change it before it affects her own kids.

Answer 6

What exactly IS an unattractive child? That's an issue of the heart and she is obviously harboring pride and predjudice with people. She has her own standard for what is attractive. Others have different standards and count other things than mere outward appearance. It is true that kids with developmental delays and disabilities have a higher likelihood for abuse and mistreatment but I think that's more a function of having parents with issues than it is the looks or abilities of the child. I have heard studies done about kids with good looks getting better treatment but I think it's all baloney because they dont' reveal their sources or how the study was conducted so I wouldn't rely on these bogus "studies." Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and your sister is one predjudiced beholder with some serious pride issues. There are alot of people who are predjudiced against people based on socioeconomic status and that is just as ignorant.

Answer 7

That's sad , but its the way of life in a lot of ways. People don't like unattractive people for friends,mates,movie stars, and so on and so on. I don't agree with it all! I hate to think people go as low as thinking of children this way. Maybe it will somehow build inner strength and ability in the child so that it will rise up to achieve more than the "good looking" people who have deemed him/her "un-attractive" and make them all desire to just be a friend to them and then be shunned themselves.

Answer 8

There are evolutionary pressures that encourage us to choose our mates according to signs of reproductive fitness, and we tend to interpret those signs of reproductive health as "beauty." Also, some of what we see as beauty is an indication not just of reproductive fitness, but of health. Facial asymmetries, for instance, are read at an instinctive level as "diseased," and possibly dangerous to us, even if we know better.

Similarly, there are characteristics of infants that trigger in our brains an urge to cuddle and protect them. Consider how cute we find puppies to be, even though they are "infants" of another species. Those round heads and other indications of infancy trigger an emotional response that is at least as biological as it is learned.

None of this quite explains your sister's behavior, and even if I could explain it, I can't excuse it. However, all of use are drawn to beauty and repelled by ugliness. That is, in a sense, what beauty and ugliness mean. She's just acting (in a shallow and reprehensible way) on an urge that all of us probably feel to some degree.

Answer 9

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Answer 10

Not to be rude but that's kinda funny. I guess its just the way your sister is, my advice, keep her away from "ugly" children.