2007-07-07 11:38:23 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I know how you feel. I've always been EXTREMELY shy. There have been points in my life where I haven't gone to the grocery store because I was scared of talking to people.
I've tried therapy, and a ton of different medications mainly for depression, but that were also supposed to help with social anxiety/phobias....
But the only thing that's really helped me has been practice practice practice. Just force yourself to speak up. And make sure you have supportive friends.... if they're not... they don't deserve to be your friends. I used to have a "friend" who would make fun of the my stories and jokes, and it always made me feel like crap and lowered my self esteem even more. But then I made new friends in college who LIKEd my stories and jokes that were really random and made no sense because you REALLY had to be there and were only like 3 sentences.... they thought it was cute and quirky. Find people who share your interests. There is a LOT about you that a LOT of people would like (I'm 100% sure)! You just have to show it! And I know it might be scary or intimidating at first, but just be like that nike ad... just do it.
And chances are that when you think, "everyone must think I'm an idiot for saying x or y" they don't. Or if you're walking into a coffee shop and trip... most likely no one even noticed... or cared... studies have shown it.
The internet is a good place to start, because it's less intimidating. I've always found it easier to talk to people I already know on the internet and "be me." And then when I see them in person it's always a lot easier to talk to them and I'm less afraid to be silly and goofy and who I really am instead of keeping myself inside.
Also having things to talk about helps (obviously). For a long time I just sat around at home doing nothing... and, not surprisingly, had nothing to say to people. And then I started doing more, I joined some clubs and started branching out and soon had a lot to talk about...
I bet a public speaking class could help... I've never tried one but I've heard good things.
2007-07-07 12:08:45 · answer #1 · answered by arfblat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think home schooling has something to do with it. Because when you're all alone, it makes it hard to inteact (s.f.s) with people outside. It also sounds like you spend alot of time inside. I think you should really get out more. ALso, try not to be shy or anything. This is the way I think about it: If you're afraid of embarresing yourself, remember there are alot of worse things that could happen. And staying inside is actually a little loser-like and pathetic. (Sorry, tough love.) P.S.) You're not ugly. If you had a smile on that face, you'd actually be very cute. Hope I helped
2016-05-21 00:09:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The confidence of most people comes from the Lord. When you truly know who you are to God, you do not worry about what others think of you. There is no confidence, like the confidence that God gives.
2007-07-07 11:47:04 · answer #3 · answered by Jeancommunicates 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have found the following 3 books to be very helpful:
1.Overcoming social anxiety and shyness by Gillian Butler
2.Overcoing loe self esteem by Melanie Fennell
3.Increasing confidence by Philippa Davies (this is small enough to slip in your bag).
You should be able to buy these from a good bookshop, or on Amazon. Or you can request them from your library service.
2007-07-07 11:53:14 · answer #4 · answered by Elizabeth G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem. It's a long journey. I think you have to notice also the mistakes that people that you admire make, and realize that if it had been you... you would have blame yourself for too much. See the flaws in others, not to put 'em down, but to realize that PERFECTION in this world does not exist. . . I agree with what Jeancommunicates says
2007-07-07 11:58:45 · answer #5 · answered by Star_ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having good social skills is puttin others and their feelings ahead of yours.. learning to listen to them and understanding their outlook on things.. once you have learned about them, you can decide as to whether you want to socialize with them... get to know them and they will get to know you.. you have to be willing to be exactly who you are without putting on any airs.. just be yourself and then it has to be good enough for others or not.. to gain confidence you have to let your true self be what you reveal to others.. they must accept you or reject you based on who you are..not who they want you to be.. you must do the same thing... the truth is strength and confidence..
2007-07-07 11:49:43 · answer #6 · answered by J. W. H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Join your local Toastmaster's Club. They teach you how to introduce yourself, introduce other people to others, and to give speeches.
2007-07-07 11:46:21 · answer #7 · answered by F T 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be the best you can be.
Always be you
Be positive and strong in mind.
2007-07-07 12:10:34 · answer #8 · answered by iym&m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋