When I was there, in the USA, my ex would always allow his other wife, the mother of his son, to enter the house. He told me that as a Christian, that was the right thing to do. She would enter and walk in the house, as if I was not there. Then, she would come with her boy friend. I told my husband that one of those days they would find me naked, after a shower, because the bathroom was near to the kitchen, where they would always enter the house. My husband would always argue with me because of her. FInally, I got him to tell her that that was not the right thing to do. But the tone of their talk did not please me. He took them both outside the house and never invited me to be part of their talking........I felt humiliated because I was the current wife and should be respected. She is not a bad person. My husband's son is a nice boy as well. The problem is how my husband deals with the situation, always putting me in the last place. That's the reason I came back to my country.
2007-07-07 11:33:11 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I really don't think your husband has any respect for "you".
If he's more interested in not hurting his EX-wife's feelings than he is "yours", then maybe he needs to go back to his ex-wife.
What you need to do is stay away from him for awhile, let him know you are not going to take that behavior.
And remind him that "Christians" are supposed to respect their wife, take care of her, and always be there for HER.
That's what Christians do!
Put your feelings first (cause you know he's not doing it).
Take care of yourself and do what's best for "you".
But remember you're not going to change him, only he can change himself.
And people treat us the way "we let" them treat us.
Good luck and best wishes to you.
You deserve better ;)
2007-07-07 11:54:16 · answer #1 · answered by MommaBear 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The hardest thing to do is take a back seat, so it seems. You are his wife, but the son, any child always takes 1st place. It happens all the time, but you are right, they should never come inside the house. Let them talk outside, but inside the home, it's yours and his, not the others. The best thing to do is never get with anyone who has a child and an ex.
2007-07-07 11:41:16 · answer #2 · answered by captjimfields 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think honey that you husband does not trust what your reaction will be when he include you in and he rather deal with one woman at a time as it is i think your husband is not the type that like scenes that is why he is so lenient towards his first wife entering his house and seeing their child. He does not want to make a big deal out of it....I know cos my hubby's like that.
How do i deal with my hubby is when he talk to me that is when i find out where i really stand. I understand his need to be in control and actually now find it endearing when he does not include me in some discussion with some people as he takes over the responsibility for me....BUT i do discuss about related issue when he is alone with me...that is just the way he is...
If you dont like it that the first wife comes and go as she like than tell your hubby not make it harder for him...suggest a solution that will pleases you and that he can do and let him deal with his first wife.......like maybe you want them to respect your privacy and if they could ring the door bell first and anytime they come around do not show hostility...you do love your husband right and you do want to be happy with them...get to know your hubby and work around it to have your way for the happiness of both...Do not cause such stupid things to get in the way of more imporatnt things like having a life together
2007-07-07 11:45:52 · answer #3 · answered by soundfamiliar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, you ought to definately communicate on your to-be husband if he desires to undertake (be legally to blame for) your son. next, you ought to communicate on your son's father and ask him approximately signing over his legal rights to this guy (giving him finished freedom of duty and no proper to confirm your son in any respect). make confident your son is familiar with that he won't see his father anymore till he (your son) will become an person. If all events are in contract; make the main of an entire 3 hundred and sixty 5 days for the technique so as that everybody (you, your to-be-husband, your son, and your son's father) comprehend the permenant nature of this selection. Counseling might additionally be a great theory to help waiting everybody for this transition.
2016-10-01 02:36:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your ex is a jerk he is playing some kind of game with you and his ex-wife and he did not treat you with the respect that you deserve.The sad situation that you were in is not your fault. I am sorry to read that you were treated that way but you will bounce back.If things look fishy in your next relationship they probably wont change after you have made a commitment.So make sure you know your man.
2007-07-07 12:09:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you've already left your husband and the country and are proceeding with a divorce, what is the issue? It looks like you've already made up your mind on whether or not this is appropriate behavior.
2007-07-07 19:46:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No woman likes or should come in second or last with her husband. She should be number 1 with him and if not something is missing in the marriage.
2007-07-07 11:42:44 · answer #7 · answered by Krinta 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If u r the current wife u deserve the most respect....that's y she's the ex.
2007-07-07 12:10:25 · answer #8 · answered by Debi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get marrage counsiling, something doesn't sound right. Listen to you're gut not you're heart. You need to be his first priority.If he continues to do this and it doesnt work out as divorce is actually possible...
2007-07-07 11:37:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you did the right thing. and no that is not the christian thing to do. you dont let your ex just wander in your house when they want.
2007-07-07 11:36:15 · answer #10 · answered by princessfionafantasy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋