I'm married to the meanest man ever. He gets home late from work almost daily and says he was "working". When he gets upset with me, he will basically live in the basement for weeks at a time and if he speaks to me it's in a full rage. He is gone from morning until late at night knowing I will be here when he gets home. I'm SICK of it. He has pushed me so far into the ground that my self esteem is lacking. Should I go out and have fun too? Come home and tell him "I worked late" just like he does? I'm sad, lonely and need a night out. Advice appreciated.
2007-07-07 11:14:48 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, I went out and bought me a new pair of jeans and a very low cut top. I'm ready girls!! I don't even know the jerk anymore... that's how much time we spend apart. The only reason I've stuck around is because I have a legal battle I'm fighting and don't need a 2nd one right now. I'll have a drink for all of you! Oh man... what if I don't get hit on!! Oh well, I guess that doesn't really matter. I just want to have some fun and feel better about me. Thanks!!
2007-07-07 11:23:05 · update #1
His kids moved here full-time 2 years ago, I have been the main caregiver to them until 6 months ago. I had enough and forced him to step up to the plate and act like a parent. Because of this and me losing 20 lbs, he now says that I neglect and mistreat his kids because I don't "do it all anymore". I'm no nanny, cook, maid or laundromat. We are unable to talk because he has so much rage. He would never beat me, don't worry. I just want to go out and enjoy myself for a night. But I do think it's too far gone to be fixed.
2007-07-07 11:39:35 · update #2
No, this is beyond going out to make a point. Ask him to go to counseling with you. If he refuses, go by yourself and consider getting out of the marriage. Something is not right here. This sounds like abuse and neglect, and nobody has to stay in that.
2007-07-07 11:18:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
Go out and blow off some steam. Then come home and think about who this man is that you're married to. Is he the meanest man in the world? Was he the meanest man in the world when you got married? Is it just that everyday life has gotten in the way and the two of you have forgotten who you are? If he stays in the basement he obviously doesn't want to be around you. If you're completely honest with yourself have you contributed to making the atmosphere unpleasant for him?
When was the last time you had a good time together? Is it possible to re-create some of the fun you used to have? Where did things go off track? Maybe what you need is a good fight to clear the air. Do you tell him how you feel or do you keep things bottled up? Is it possible that he's been keeping things bottled up? Do you nag? Does he? What's your communication like?
If he's "working late" every night is it possible that things at home are not pleasant and he doesn't want to come home to the tension? Something's gotta give. There are two sides to every relationship and it sounds like the two of you need to talk WITH each other instead of AT each other. You both have some issues that need to be aired out. You've gotta find a way to break the tension so you can start communicating in a healthier way.
2007-07-07 18:30:00 · answer #2 · answered by innerradiancecoaching 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess you have to ask yourself:
Do 2 wrongs make a right?
I don't think you should go out tonight, to prove a point.
But I do think you should go out tonight, just to get out and away from it for awhile.
Getting revenge may seem fun at the time, but do you want to pay the consequences for it afterwards?
What you really need to do is think about yourself, and work on getting your self esteem back.
If this relationship isn't what you want for the rest of your life, then really give it some thought about getting out of it. Why waste time when you know this isn't what you want?
Is he really worth losing yourself, and your self-esteem? I don't think so.
Put yourself first, do what you "want" to do, and work on your happiness.
Put the energy, you would spend on revenge, on yourself.
I wish the best for you.
Go out tonight, but go out to have a good time.
Get your problems off of your mind for awhile.
Have fun ;)
2007-07-07 18:29:22 · answer #3 · answered by MommaBear 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, hon, you need a divorce. If you and he don't get along, for whatever reason, being spiteful solves nothing, and just hurts some third person with your resentment and rage, Just end your relationship.
Hon, you don't have a marriage, you have a room mate. Even if your reasons are warped, and none of it is your fault, your relationship is tooooo far gone to fix, if there is even a shred of truth to your complaint. If the guy is gone all the time, and your relationship is not one of kindness and caring, it ain't a marriage hon.... End it, get on with your life, seek some counseling to get your head on straight, Life gone 'round just once.....
2007-07-07 18:23:39 · answer #4 · answered by April 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You can do that, but i would advise to have a plan with some substance and that will provide you with some answers. If you do go out make sure that you are going out because you want some me time, not to prove a point. Because all you will be doing is giving him more reason to "work late". If you are suspect of his activities, I would ask amd if he says no, I would devote my time to finding out and then take the neccessary actions to catch his *** out... Then you need to evaluate if its worth it.
2007-07-07 18:20:53 · answer #5 · answered by Gface15 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like he is suffering from narcissistic personality disorder. You can go on line and find out about it.
Why don't you go to his work and find out when he really gets off. Then find out where he is going and who he is really spending all his time with, another woman I would say. Why sit at home and wonder where he is? Go find out.
If he is committing adultery, divorce him. He probably treats you so mean, because he is cheating on you and feels guilty and wants you to look bad to ease his guilty conscience.
Don't sit at home with your eyes closed, find out the truth, you have the right as his wife to find out what your man is really doing.
2007-07-07 18:24:39 · answer #6 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow - a childish response to a childish situation. He hurts you so you hurt him back? What is this? High school? If you can't behave like an adult than divorce him. But going out and buying slutty clothing to attrack attention is completely inmature.
2007-07-07 18:39:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would go out and look SUPER HOT and have a great time without any guilt. plus attention form other guys always is an esteem booster!or leave him, and see how he likes being home alone in his base
2007-07-07 18:19:11 · answer #8 · answered by Shooting Star 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
well get a job and work late. He may be an as sh ole but if he is putting in the hours then maybe your just working him too hard. Try to tell him to cut back on work
2007-07-07 18:19:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Are you doing this for you or to get back at him? Every relationship needs some alone time so be sure to make time for yourself. If your husband is that bad why dont you divorce him?
2007-07-07 18:18:25 · answer #10 · answered by Peyton 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋