Do you think someone should be forgiven after an affair lasting one year?

Answer 1

I think that by nature we are not monogamous animals but what seperates us from dogs is that we have ethics....sounds like if a man or woman can continue a fling with someone for a year they have NO ethics or conscience or have a major mental problem that you can't and should not try to fix.....Think about how much lying and manipulation it takes to carry on 2 women...think about it long and hard...it takes ALOT of lying and deception...do you want to be with someone whom you will never trust again? will you want to always be worrying if this man is gonna bone another woman? do you want to beat the hell out of your self-esteem? when in fact you can be with someone with ethics, integrity and a conscience...good luck.

Answer 2

Except for attempting to hire a hit man, an affair is the worst thing a person can do to their marriage. And, the sexual betrayal isn't necessarily the worst aspect of an ongoing affair. The continuing lies, the constant manipulations, the rearranging of things to facilitate the affair, and the mental games meant to avert suspicion. After the affair comes out- all those things that were said and done to make the affair possible are remembered and replayed time after time mentally. Each betrayal is relived- and the hurt is worse, with each replay. OK. That's for a regular affair. Now, IF it wasn't JUST the spouse behaving like a jerk, but instead the spouse decides to get fancy and have the affair with a close friend. Then, just as an added bonus, when the poop hits the fan; on top of the usual mental images- you get to imagine the two of them laughing at you in bed, and sharing different confidences you shared with both of them. It's possible that you think this all means that I lean toward not forgiving. That isn't at all true. I actually feel an ongoing, long term affair can be forgiven. Right after hell freezes over.

Answer 3

A lot of people are going to say I'm crazy but, yes, I do think that a person can be forgiven after having an affair. Yes, it is probably one of the worst things to do to someone, but lets face it. We are all human and make terrible mistakes and act on poor judgement. If there is anyone out there that hasn't made mistakes along the way, let me know. If the relationship is important to both parties involved then I do believe it can be forgiven. If it happened again, that's a different story.

Answer 4

I will be blunt and honest with you, I don't think I can forgive my husband for having an affair that lasted a year. It doesn't matter if I do love him, having an affair that took that long is not just affair anymore, it's already emotional feelings that they develop. My husband had an affair for 2 months to this married woman and when I discovered it, he asked and beg for forgiveness but I can't. I did loved him but I didn't do anything wrong as a wife and a friend for him to turn to another woman. People said give him another chance but how can I if I don't have no fault why he did what he did.
This is what I think if I am in your shoes.............

Answer 5

Forgiven, yes. Forgotten, no. Forgiveness does not mean that you should stay with the person. That person chose to disrespect you and your relationship continuously for a year. That doesn't say much for the quality of that person. You have to decide if you want to continue with a person that did not respect you enough to remain faithful while in a relationship with you. What would stop that person from repeating the behavior later? Guilt...it didn't stop that person before...until caught, more than likely, maybe not even then.

Answer 6

My boyfriend and I live together and have been together for 4 years. He messed with a girl for about 7 months. I have forgiven him but I really haven't forgotten. It is very hard for me to trust him, I really don't. As far as I know he hasn't seen her since November or so but I do know he talked to her in April and May via phone and e-mail. That hurt me terribly. I am also always worried that he will do it again, I am in a constant state of anxiety over this. If I try to call him and he doesn't answer or the line is busy I panic. It really sucks.

Answer 7

What did U do in this long one year?First examine a person well & then U decide whether to have an affair with him or not.

Answer 8

That all depends on why the affair ended (cheater ended it because cheater still loves the spouse or because cheater got caught cheating) and what the cheater is willing to do to be forgiven.

Answer 9

That's up to the personality of the one who was cheated on. Some people don't really take much offense to cheating. If they're willing to forgive, well... it's not MY relationship, so I don't really care that much (even if they were willing to forgive, I don't think they should continue the relationship). However, I wouldn't condone cheating because I think it's completely cowardly, so if I were being cheated on, I'd scream, get violent, and dump my partner's a**. I'm just not the type to forgive since I hold grudges. It'd be one thing if my partner TOLD me right from the beginning that it wasn't his/her/whoever's personality to be monogamous or to be exclusive, but it's another to just lie behind my back.

Answer 10

No way. They did it before, they'll do it again. Get somebody new, or you'll regret it. I know you might want to make it work, but if they already ignored you for an entire year, why bother? Find someone who truly cares about you.