I am never happy. Nothing is wrong with my life, I'm just never happy.?

Question

I have had a fairly ok life so far. I have a good job, I'm financially secure, my parents are alive, I'm educated. I'm 36.

I am going to marry a man that lives 2000 miles from me (we have been together a long time - it's not some long distance crazy thing that doesn't have a future). I am moving to be with him and I am very uncomfortable about that because I have to leave my family, friends and job. I do love him. I wonder if that is enough. I also wonder how I can possibly be happy there an ocean away when I cannot be happy here with all that I have. I am constantly sad and worried. I'm 36, have never been married and have no children. I still think I'm not old enough to have children and I'm now old enough to be a grandmother! What is wrong with me? Should I just go get married and fake it?

Is there anyone else out there that is just sad all the time? Nothing can make me happy. I'm constantly waiting for something bad to happen.

He did offer to move to me, but I was scared and told him no. Now he won't come here and I have to go there.

I'm not sure why anyone is questioning whether I love him, I do. It's not that. He's a wonderful man that loves me, too.

Answer 1

you need some couselling. Happiness is a state of mind that comes from within and obviously you need to deal with a few personal issues. It is not as hard to achieve as you may think and you simply need a bit of help.

Answer 2

Wooooooo! Pull back on those reins and get the big picture! I have found in my own life and I am now 60 years old, that whenever I had a check or aprehension about something, deep inside my heart........ I shouldn't go ahead and do it anyway. Many times I did and have paid so many "dear" prices for it!!! Not listening to my own heart. What will happen when the ooey gooey love is not there and your only choice is commitment. Will you want to be committed? He's not the only fish in the sea, even though you are 36. I had my daughter at 32. Now women are having children at all ages.
Right there tells you, you want to get married to have children.
It's wonderful to love, but we can love a lot of people - in a healthy way. Care for yourself and don't create for yourself a lifetime disaster. You are much too precious in the sight of God. I will be praying for you to do what is right, not convenient.

Answer 3

Think the problem is exactly as you said:
"Nothing is wrong with my life!"

Well, why don't you try something wrong in your life?
... try to experience ... "homeless" ...
or
... try a hard job, ... ?


I know it sounds stupid. O.K. Let's see how else can you feel the difference:

Why don't you try just simply be useful to others with no appreciation in return?
There are Churches, Hospitals, people in need in some Homes, ... There are countries in which your expertise may be so much valuable !!!
This way you'll feel some love inside, equal with the happiness you are looking for. There is no happiness in things which we are doing only for ourselves. We may be fulfilled by all our realisations but this will never give us the real happiness ...

Do Something (good) For Others !
and you'll see the feeling of something good, already happened, will fill your soul instead of that frightened feeling.

Answer 4

I'm sure you're sad because you're stressed out about this big change. The important thing is that you set your priorities. Make it so you will still be able to see your family and friends, but also that you can live with your fiance. I'm sure he'll understand if you have to make a few compromises, just make sure to talk to him about it!! If you are constantly sad, you may want to consider seeing a doctor about depression. I've had the same thing, but dont worry, it'll work out for the best.

Answer 5

A lot of people go through life on an even keel never swaying either way.

It's not that unusual, it's also normal for you to be afraid to pull up stakes and move across the world from what your comfortable with.

However if your love each other and your have a strong relationship it will be fine.

Congrats on your upcoming nuptials

Answer 6

It is common for bad things to happen to those who look for it..likewise if you spend time looking for the goo in life, that will usually come along as well. Being optimistic is a lifestyle, not just a state of mind for many happy people. YOU MAY THINK THAT YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO BE HAPPY AND THUS YOU ARE NOT.

I RECENTLY HAD A STROKE AT 57 YEARS OLD AND IT DAWNED ON ME YESTERDAY, THAT I HAVE BEEN SO GRATEFULL TO GOD THAT IT WAS NOT NEARLY AS BAD AS IT COULD HAVE BEEN THAT I HAVE NOT CRIED OR JUST HAD A PITY PARTY ABOUT IT HAPPRENING TO ME.

NOW THAT IS BEING OPTIMISTIC AS A LIFESTYLE. TRY IT....YOU MIGHT JUST GET HAPPY THAT YOU DID.

Answer 7

I think you might need to see a psychologist. You could be an undiagnosed bipolar. Maybe there isn't enough respect in your relationship. Do a self evaluation to see if you treat your man right or if he treats you right. Remember the words you use when communicating with him and vice versa. If there isn't enough respect in the relationship, you or one of you might have issues that need to be medicated. Also, not having God in the center of your relationship is an unhappy one. Period.

Answer 8

maybe you need some happy pills or some good friends and support....why wasn't the guy willing to relocate??MAybe being somwhere new will be good for you...i would talk to a therapist and see maybe what is causing all this unhappiness...and sometimes love is enough....and everyone gets uncomfertable in a situation like yours when they are relocating and starting new

Answer 9

Well obviously you need counseling, you sound like you are clinically depressed.

You also are not in love with this man. Don't marry him, let him go and find happiness with someone who will love him.

Answer 10

Make sure that you want to marry him before you do and you would need to start a family right away.