8 months ago, I asked my husband to move out of the house because my mom said he tried to rape her. ( He refused to do so, and until now I have no idea who tells the truth ) Our son stays with me, and I don't get any help from him to raise my son. He has a new girlfriend now, but what really bothers me is what he does to her and her daughter. He cooks. He washes her clothes-- which never happened when he lived with me. He takes her to eat out most of the time --at the restaurants the he hated before. He stops picking my son up on weekend, and spend time to take good care of her daughter.
Please help me! I feel really bad when I look at my son. What should I do now to keep myself emotionally balance? Thanks a lot.
2007-07-07 07:52:25 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It hasn't been that long, he is still trying to impress her. Just give it time and his true self will show up again. Do not obsess over him, just get on with your life. When your son asks questions be honest without dogging out his father. He is still the boys father, after all. Not even God himself can change that fact. Your son will come to his own conclusions about his father in time, you don't need to help along the hate.
2007-07-07 07:57:41 · answer #1 · answered by msims52 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
THE IMPORTANT THINGS -Kisses me with a "I love you" before he's gone to work -Holds me every night before falling asleep -We still have good sex. -He financially supports both me and our son without complaining (I have been struggling with career issues) - I've never "caught" him cheating. -He has never agreed to break up -He is over the top jeolous of any guy (I have no guy friends) -He has isolated me from having any friends. If I do have a girls night out or visit my mom, he gets uneasy with every minute that I'm gone and I come home to a list of questions which make me feel interrogated. He does the same thing when I come from work (times that I was employed) THE DOUBTS -He never proposed until a couple of months ago. And he only did it after several arguments about "why get married?" -Doesn't do anything romantic or sweet anymore (no candles, love letters, once in a blue flowers, no words from the heart, etc.) -He has forgotten our anniversary before -He roles his eyes when I'm about to cry from how much he ignores my feelings -My mom give me $ to help out once in a while...but he doesn't think I should ever get something nice to treat myself. He says the $ could be used for other things -He doesn't think aboutt us escaping to the movies or a restaurant or a bar, bowling, any place fun even if we had to come back in a couple of hours...just us 2. I get sad when I think of the happy times. I just edited the "important things" and the "doubts"... See, every relationships has to go through different stages... Obviously, you are in a stage where everyhting is passive with your bf/live-in-partner... But reacts overly when he doesn't see you around the house... You need to communicate with him, and before you start the conversation you need to tell him to extend his understanding and you need his ears 110%. And tell him what you feel about him not being sweet and all. Tell him that you need it for you to know if he really loves you... This is a lame reason for breaking of breaking off a relationship where many people could be affected most importantly your child.
2016-05-20 23:11:03 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you divorced? If not, start proceedings soon -- especially if he's neglecting you and your son.
Sounds like your husband is trying to show his new gf his "good side" so that she buys into him. Either that, he's trying to turn over a new leaf and start over with a new family.
If his intentions are never to be a true father to your son, sever all ties with him. Your son doesn't deserve a dad who doesn't care about him. Not saying it'll be easy on you or your son but, in the end, your emotional happiness is what's important.
Don't either of you deserve to be happy? And having this man in your lives won't accomplish that. Be the best mom you can be to your son, go on with you lives, and find happiness.
2007-07-07 08:03:23 · answer #3 · answered by JC 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
now you have to be a Mom and Dad, move on and dont let his life affect you, which it is. Think of you son,, this is more important then his new life. Go to the Friend of the Court for child support. The rape, I dont know all the details, but if it happened to me,I would file a complaint,as someone suggested, dont get involved with another man untill you get you life on track
2007-07-07 08:03:15 · answer #4 · answered by Dms 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey you can't dwell on it. I did the same thing and it was eating away at me. You can't let that comparing stuff get in your head. My son's father left me 2 wks after I told him I was pregnant. HE went straight to the girl he had been cheating on me with. I heard he got married to her, and has kids with her, etc. He has absolutely nothing to do with our son. He saw him for about 15 mi the day he was born. That's it.
He could possibly be doing those things with her, because a) he feels extremely guilty about what he's done to your mother, and doesn't want her believing he could do such a thing because he's such a great guy. or b/ he feels guilty about not being a good husband and father to you and your son.
Either way, no matter what his reasons are, you got to let go of it. He apparently isn't a good role model for your baby boy anyway. You can find him a better daddy with someone else.
Good Luck
2007-07-07 08:00:45 · answer #5 · answered by Candi is Dandy 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The fact is he has no care for your son. Im sorry. All you can do is get child support but this also requires court fees and then he may fight to see the child. You can raise a good kid on your own it is hard work but it is very rewarding. He is not worth anything. Move on and realize not all guys are like that.
2007-07-07 08:26:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very easy. File for divorce from him and sue him for everything you are legally entitled to so forever he will always be reminded of exactly what he had and lost due to his stupidity. Unless youre ruled unfit to be a mother,you will automatically be awarded custody of your son with child support, the house because of your son, and possible spousal support. That should be more than enough to stop his extravagent spending with his new girlfriend and then lets see just how much hes worth to her. Let him pay for his mistake. Good luck
2007-07-07 08:02:16 · answer #7 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
We live in the 21st century, wich means evolution! Stop depending emotioanlly on your ex, because that will lead to your son doing the same thing. His dad cares very little for him and as I understand he is an asshole! My parents are divorced and it's my dad's fault but i never saw my mom missing him , talking bad about him. She raised both me and my brother practiclly all alone and did a very good job! Don't be scared to be a single mom! Better this way than with a jerk " helping" you!
2007-07-07 08:00:10 · answer #8 · answered by Chips 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I'd be more concerned about the daughter of the new girlfriend. If he did in fact try to rape your mother, how does anyone know what he may be doing with the daughter of his new girlfriend.
Tigers never change their stripes and he's still in the beginning of this new relationship. Just wait. He'll end up treating her the same way, if he's not already doing something questionable.
2007-07-07 07:58:25 · answer #9 · answered by elder_goth_gal 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
you asked him to leave he's out.if your mom told you he tried to rape her,why don't you believe her?he won't spend time with his son because he's into this new relationship.your son might be better off not seeing him.you need to move on.because he sounds like a low life.you are still hung up on him and you are using your son as an excuse to keep tabs on him.is this a new girlfriend or was he seeing her the whole time he was living with you?
2007-07-07 08:08:47 · answer #10 · answered by moanalisa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋