Looking back should I have married my wife?

Question

I had given her a 1 moonth timeframe to get a job, and she burned that up and upon the last few days told me she was pregnant. She has found an excuse to not get a job ever since. It's been 5 years and still no job. Sure shes tried Avon and watching old people die in their homes for 9 bucks an hour. But I can honestly say shes a drain on my family and can feel months of my life being swept away. I blame her for all our troubles and want her to cheat on me so I can dump her. I think I'll be happier. What can I do with the kids I love so much. Esp the lil girl. Shes my princess. What will the kids do with such a loser ****** mom? Help me im gonna explode...

dont mind my profile. Its my secret email

Answer 1

Well... you're just looking at it as not getting a job.

You're just posting one angle of it, but how is she otherwise? I don't mean sex, but is she a good mother, supports you, etc.?

Maybe you're just putting your expectations on what your wife should be and not looking at what she is. Stop blaming her for everything and see where she did wrong and what she does right, and probably you could look at things different.

Answer 2

You must think you own her and rule the roost if you gave her a 1 month time frame to get a job.

Avon CAN be a real job if people work it hard.
Don't talk about "watching old people die in their homes for 9 bucks an hour" that way. That is HARD WORK!

You have a personal problems and you are trying to blame HER for your troubles. It's really lame to wish that she would cheat so you have an excuse to dump her.

I really don't know if your wife is a loser, but I can see by your comments that you are a co-dependent, an addictive personality who blames others around him for what is wrong with his life.

No, you should not have married your wife. You were very unfair to her because you weren't ready for the commitment of marriage. You don't work on your marriage. You don't value your wife. You don't treat your wife nice.

You should get a divorce and go to counseling and learn to take responsibility for what is wrong with your life. You can tell her you weren't ready for the commitment and responsibility of marriage when you married her and this would be correct, even if you don't believe it.

You don't have a right to explode. Any man who would use such obscene language to describe his wife is the cause of their problems. Exploding won't solve anything. It will just lose for you the love of those children. Even now, I'll bet your little girl wonders why daddy says such terrible words about mommy! She knows what you think of mommy! Kids always do. If you love your kids, you show it by showing respect for their mother!

Answer 3

I'm not sure if she had a job when you married her; but she is not the cause for all your troubles. And if you think you'll be happier without her, you have to decide if you really love her enough to stay with her as she is. If it's so bad for you, why does she have to cheat before you leave? Seems to me you need a reason not to feel guilty if you do divorce her. By the way, why would you need to give her a timeframe to get a job? Hhmmm, something more is at issue here. You might want to try marriage counseling before you decide to call it quits. But marriage counseling only works if both people want to save the marriage.

Answer 4

I don't know about your wife, but you sound like a whining, pathetic baby.

She is a drain on YOUR life? YOUR life is being swept away??????? She's to blame for ALL YOUR trouble????

YOU ARE ACTING LIKE A PATHETIC DOG.

If you have ANY decency in you at all, ANYWHERE then at the very least you would realize that you OWE her respect because SHE gave birth (and half the genes) to that princess you love so much.

You want to dump your wife, then go on....YOU move out, ALONE and go live in some hotel room until the divorce is final. YOU pay her alimony and child support for the rest of your natural life because you weren't smart enough to realize that YOU HAVE A PROBLEM and you need to get some serious therapy.

You don't want to be a man, stand up and support your family BY YOURSELF and let her be a mom and a wife. That makes you a P***Y.

Answer 5

Sounds like she trapped you. You should have known in your heart that she was a loser from the beginning but you thought she would either change or you didn't care. I would take her out to dinner and then talk with her after dinner about the situation. Explain to her that you are a family and as a family it is each person's duty to help out. You need her to go get a job to help with the finances. Tell her you feel like you are drowning because you are doing it alone. See if that helps. Bring it up several times and if nothing changes, I would file for divorce. You deserve a wife that loves, respects, and wants the same as you do out of life. You can probably get shared custody. If she still does nothing, give her 30 days to find a decent job or announce that you are going to divorce her. I'm sorry you made such a bad decision in a girlfriend. You could be happily married to a wonderful woman right now planning your next investment or vacation.

Answer 6

First of all you have to realize and believe there is nothing you can do to change this woman. The second thing is to focus on what you can do to change the way you react to her behavior. If the frustration is simply money and work, try some marriage counseling. It sounds like you have some issues you need to work through as well. Remember, it takes two to make a marriage work. Often we feel like a victem, but later you realize you had apart in it too. You both need to take time to be together and talk there may be more to this situation than meets the eye.

Answer 7

you think you have a new story here don't you, half the guys in the country feel they are having the life sucked right out of them. you don't have that market cornered. the only thing you can do is ask god to provide you a way out. I read these questions and they always say " god deosn't want me to be unhappy so I cheated" well if god din't want them to be unhappy , he would have killed their spouses right dead in their tracks. you are punished by your sins not for them, remember back when you were hitting that big asss thinking :see nothing is happening, I can have sex outside of marriage and I'm not getting punished, as a matter of fact it feels pretty good, guess what soldier, you are getting your punishment now. it's strange I know to ask a female to marry you before you have sex, it's almost laughable in our society, but the bible is full of wisdom even if you don't believe in the jewish god. sex can scew your perception and you will do things you should not do. another reason the bible tells you if your spouse leaves you can't remarry so you can't do what you want to do, make her leave so you can live guilt free. like I said, you aren't an original. I/m not bible thumpin here just telling you some of the wisdom that is there and why it is there, I'm a sinner too and learned from bad experiences.

Answer 8

Dump the b....! File for divorce ask for custody of the kids and property and anything else you can think of. If you can prove thru all the years of marriage you are the sole provider for the kids you probably won't have too many problems. Make sure property and cars etc are in your name only. Be prepared for anything and everything she can throw your way. Get the best lawyer your money can buy. Don't feel sorry for her.5 years is long enough to get off her a.. and find a job. It's time to put your foot down. Don't put it up her a.. you probably won't get it back.

Answer 9

FIRST of all, it is YOUR responsibility to provide for her and your family.Learn to live within your means.That means you won't have everything you want.It also means she stays at home and takes care of the house and kids.Who can raise kids better than their own parents?Try online training for a better paying job, go to finance counseling MAKE the finances work out so you aren't stressed.Cut out the cable Tv, and other things you CAN live without.Does the mother take care of the kids?Does she cook, clean etc?If so, then quit griping.If not tell her there will be some changes or she will be moving out.

Answer 10

Sounds like you need an attitude adjustment. Maybe you shouldn't have married her if that's how you feel. She is not there just to make money; she is there to love you and your family, and help raise a family. I'm assuming she stayed at home with your kids? What a wonderful thing to be able to do! If she is looking for a stay at home job so she can raise her kids and work, she should try west at home. I am a stay at home mother (I am not a loser ****** mom!!!) and I work for West during my spare time.