my ex husband looks terrible...?

Question

He picked our daughter up today and looked like a hobo. he looked like he hadn't shaved in 2 weeks. he also had a shy cowardly stand to him, like a kid looks when he is scolded. he also didn't have his sunglasses on which he ALWAYS does. whatever it was it wasn't the norm and i am trying to figure out if he want to speak to me or what his deal is. we do not speak at all accept to exchange our daughter. the other factor is is that his girlfriend that he left his family for is out of town, can that have something to do with it? I'm not even sure if there still together.
i don't know why i am asking or even caring so please just indulge me as to what you think is wrong with him.

Answer 1

Don't you know when a man can get away without shaving or taking a shower he will do just that. Men are very lazy when it comes to taking care of themselves and cleaning up after themselves. I learned that when my husband moved out and got his own apartment.He said to me,it feels so good to walk around with nothing on and not worry about clean clothes or washing the dishes,that's just the way they are.If know one is with him he doesn't care what he looks like.But just as soon as his girlfriend comes back he will clean himself up.

Answer 2

First of all, one must take into consideration his age as he might be going through some inner turmoil as to which might be why he left his family.

Secondly, he may have come into some kind of conscience awareness of the pain he caused. However though if its been a long period of time since he left, then this may not apply.

The other thing that one must take into consideration is the fact that he may have a concern in his life that he knows not how to handle. Which in turn may have left him in a state of depression which very well could be what is manifested in his personality and mood swings.

Now the two of had spent some considerable amount of time together so that bond is still there to some degree, including the fact that he is the father of your child and that motherly intuition has thrown up a red flag.

The next thing that one needs to take into consideration is that does his family have mental illness history. This is important for one to know when making a judgment call as to what to do.

Now, I would suggest that even though it might cause you some pain and inner turmoil. Is that you make contact somehow with him and get a feel of what is going on in him and then maybe let someone in his family know that he has good relationship with. He may need some form of intervention to get him through whatever it may be he is dealing with.

Answer 3

Good for you for being concerned! If he has a girlfriend though and you guys aren't on speaking terms, it's probably best if you stay out of it. When you exchange your daughter next, if he still looks the same, you should just ask kindly if everything is ok. Or ask your daughter if she thought her dad was doing ok. You don't have to get into it too much with your child - you don't want to put her in the middle, but her opinion would probably be a good one.

Answer 4

Your ex is unhappy. His life is not going the way he expected. He is depressed.

If lost all that matters to you...and you couldn't escape the mess of your life, you might not shave, lose your sunglasses, and stand in a broken manner.

He screwed his life up and he knows it.

Give him time. At least he picked up your daughter. He is trying to still be a father. Talk to the poor guy. He is just crushed. Be kind. No matter what he did to you, he is still a person that deserves kindness.

Answer 5

Whats wrong with him ? He got what he asked for that's all .
Didn't you ever hear that old saying ? Be careful what you ask for you may just get it . Sounds like he got his .

I know the feeling that your going through my ex left me and the kids and got what she was asking for also and she looks the same like crap but without the beard . Its really sad but there's nothing i can do . They chose there path to walk down and we cant follow because we have the kids to think about and its not fare for them to go down a dark empty road

Answer 6

You care because the two of you brought a child into this world. You should be worried about this because your daughter will be spending time in his environment, I would call her and make sure things are okay. You're the mother, you will be able to tell from the tone of her voice.

Answer 7

Oh, the girlfriend probably dumped him and now he is all depressed. He wonders why he made the decision to cheat but it is too late to get back with you. Ask your daughter what goes on when she is with him. You may want to talk to a judge about his mental condition and supervised visitation if you think he is so depressed that he may hurt her or himself. Good luck.

Answer 8

My to be ex looks like death warmed over when I saw him in divorce court, really he looks bad, lost a ton of weight his completion is grayish, and on and on... I did call out family doctor asking if he's dieing, because in 30 years he has never looked like this, but I was told it all confidential, I tried.
We do not speak, or look at one another, he ran home to mommy and daddy, I think this would make me sick too,.... knowing his parents the way I do.

Answer 9

Lots of "could be's." He could be on drugs. He could be realizing he made a mistake in leaving his family. Could be he's sick.
Whatever the reason, he is after all, your X, not your husband. Just be glad his life hasn't turned out to be the sweet ride he thought it would be.

Answer 10

Just my opinion, sounds like the girl left him, he's a mess because he realized he screwed up his whole life for a cheap tawdry affair, with a woman that dumped him. Though I could be wrong, NOPE!