I want sex but he doesnt what should I do
2007-07-07 06:31:22 · 14 answers · asked by Jordan D 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Talk to him about this, that's the best thing to do, communication is the key to a good healthy relationship, some men have lower sex drives than there wives...men who get stressed at work or don't get enough sleep or down time can also not be in the mood, you have to talk to him and tell him how your feelings and see if you can come up with a solution and if all else fails, there is always toys
2007-07-07 06:35:49 · answer #1 · answered by Nita and Michael 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men have sex drives that vary. In the beginning, they may act like they are similar to you...(the same goes for women). Fact is that sex drives rarely match.
You need to talk to your husband about your needs. It is not one sided, he deserves to have his needs met too. The solution lies in being understanding. If you find that he doesn't care, explore the reasons. Could be stress, could be low sex drive, could be lack of love.
Find your reason, seek a solution. Do it together and remember that it takes two to fix it.
I had a husband once that stopped having sex basically the day we got married. Well, once every 3 months was a lot for him. He didn't care about my needs and said it plainly. No matter what I did it didn't matter. My problem: his latent low sex drive or perhaps his sexuality. The solution wasn't easy since he didn't care about my needs. I left eventually.
I am not saying things are like that for you. I am saying that problem solving is your job...and his too. If you make it more like a joint effort...and spice up his sex drive with the stuff that turns him on...you will see your solution. Consider a vacation... consider sexy clothes, consider talking it out. Consider couples therapy or a visit to his doctor.
The solution is found or the relationship will eventually die. That is a fact. If you don't have sex...basically the love will die eventually. You are just roommates without sex.
Problem solve and work together to fix it. That is your solution.
2007-07-07 14:13:10 · answer #2 · answered by kishoti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in your situation right now as we speak. Its been almost 5 months for me and I'm going crazy. In my situation, he started taking anti-depressents and now he has no sex drive. He's just not interested. I asked him about before the pills "have you ever been interested?" he says, "yes, but not with you." What a blow!! I'm an attractive person, and I know I could go out and find someone attracted to me today. I'm at my last nerve, and we have talked about this every week for 5 months, he still has no interest in taking care of my needs. I WILL NOT live the rest of my life like this. I'm sorry you are feeling this frustration, but I think the only solution is to leave. Men do not change. I have tried for 4 years. and while things were hot in the past, it has gotten increasingly worse over time. I have lost my self-esteem, I'm now insecure, and feel emotionally abused because of this constant rejection. I'm going to need a lot of "ME time" to get over this I think. The first thing that I'm going to do when I leave is to get laid. (in order to verify my hotness ) --sorry in advance for using men for sex :)
2007-07-07 14:53:42 · answer #3 · answered by Ander 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is not suppose to withhold sex from you because that is part of being married. My ex- husband was the same way and it got to a point where I even cheated. He found out about it and he had a serious attitude about it and I said to him what am I suppose to do. What he want do someone else will. We are now separated and I am happy about it because it was never going to work because he did not like to have sex.
He made me feel like I was some kind of freak... Good Luck to you, hopefully things do not get as bad as it got for me.
2007-07-07 14:09:33 · answer #4 · answered by Vicky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, first off, it's not normal for a guy to not want sex. Maybe he's inexperienced and is afraid of embarrassing himself or not satisfying you. You may have to be a little more agressive and entice him into sex...men like it when women are aggressive.
If that doesn't work you need to tell him what your needs are and see if that helps at all...
Good luck to you!
2007-07-07 13:38:51 · answer #5 · answered by Cupcakes Moosey! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to ur man about how u feel. tell him that u want more sex in the relationship if that does not work sex therapist . or maybe he just is not interested anymore. Well u need to have a serious talk with him
2007-07-07 13:39:48 · answer #6 · answered by Cat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So you're normal and he's definitely NOT.
Tell him that sex is a healthy part of a healthy marriage and if he's not interested that means something is wrong. Then get the two of you into some good marital therapy.
If he won't go, then you go....and maybe you'll need to get out...
2007-07-07 13:35:09 · answer #7 · answered by lady_phoenix39 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't believe all those men who don't want sex. What's wrong with them! ....a spouse unwilling to be intimate is a good reason enough to have your marriage annulled. I would not deal with a mate who doesn't want to touch me.
2007-07-07 13:36:24 · answer #8 · answered by Jane Marple 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should do your women thing seduction lingerie at night time.one day when you know he is coming home early prepared a nice dinner candle lights,wear something that says(jlo) slow music to get into the mood ,
2007-07-07 16:36:09 · answer #9 · answered by Inderia h 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him, maybe try something different, being spontatneous usually helps a lot. He may be bored, spicing it up might be the thing to, try suprising him?
2007-07-07 13:39:02 · answer #10 · answered by redflash92 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋