Have I made a serious error in judgement....?

Question

I asked a question previously (last one). The answers have caused me some concern.

A few weeks ago it was a nice sunny day and I took my little daughter to the supermarket with me (shes 2... very sweet).. Anyway as I am walking past the tills I saw a woman (i'd say about 22) she really turned heads, (guys were getting proded and scowled at by their partners). What she was wearing was pretty revealling.

Anyway I stop myself staring and go about my shopping anyway she keeps popping up.. I think its just me subconsciously stumbling on her so I try to ignore her. Anyway I am trying to decide what razor blades to get (always a headache) when she appears and slides right in front of me to look at mens razors too? Her butt is basically right in my crotch. I backed off and she turned around and starts chatting saying my girl is gorgeous and asking wheres her mum etc. I basically fobbed her off cos I am dumb and fought she was rude for pushing in..

I told my wife about it.....mistake?

She was pretty angry although it seemed to be directed at her. "cheeky beetch etc"

ok ok i missed out a few details mainly cos I ran out of space. I told my wife cos I felt a bit guilty like maybe I caused it in some way ( I did look at her). Please dont say stuff like pay attetnion to my daughter cos I do and beside the momentary lapse I was talking to her the whole time.. I always do shes my angel. She actually drew my attention to the woman in the first place when she said look daddy theres a princess.

Answer 1

thats not your fault, and the fact that you told your wife is a sign of your honesty. of course your wife is going to be pissed at a woman who would do that but you didnt do anything wrong so why would she be mad at you. imagine if the roles were reversed and your wife told you a similar story about a guy doing something like that to her, would you be mad your wife? probably not right, you'd be mad at him. no difference here. you did the right thing by telling her, you laid your cards on the table. she really has no right to be mad at you.

Answer 2

It's not a mistake to tell the missus! What if someone else had seen the event and had told your wife - she would question why you hadn't said anything to her! I think it is always better to reveal silly events like this to your partner. Nothing to hide then! Nothing can be misconstrued and at the end of the day, your wifes' anger WAS directed at the other party wasn't it? The day her anger is directed at YOU for telling her things like this, then is the time to pack it in!

Answer 3

Naw, you did right. Every woman gets upset at the thought of another woman next to her man.You didn't need to go into the details with the wife though. That is where you may have made the mistake. You could have just told her that a very rude woman was trying to get your attention and you told her to bugger off.

Answer 4

I understand some of what happened to you. A lot depends on your mate and how she looks at things. I am a woman and somewhat similar things have happened to me at stores or events when I wasn't with my hubby that were not of my doing. I always tell him what happened because he has a right to know and can tell me from a males perspective what was really going on. I also listen to him if he has advise on how I should handle it in the future should it happen again. This is the way that my hubby and I handle these types of situations. He on the other hand, handles these types of situations very well on his own and I never worry about it with him. Many times over the years, I have witnessed him handling a situation with out him knowing I am present and He has always made me proud that I am his mate. he holds himself and his sons to a high standard of behavior and lets me know each day that he trusts me and loves me. I don't think it was a mistake to tell your wife. She has a right to know but you need to understand that her knee jerk reaction to it just shows that she loves and needs you. You need to reassure her that you handled it in a way that respects and shows your love for her.

Answer 5

No I think you made a good call if it was just conversation with you wife like "You wouldn't believe what this woman at the store did!" And your wife getting angry should just reaffirm that she loves you and is looking out to protect her territory. I'm not the jealous type but one day when my husband came home and told me about some teeny boppers making comments about him when they thought he couldn't hear got my dander up and actually I was sort of shocked but then after awhile I thought Wow after 14 years together and 13 of marriage I must really love this man to get mad over that stupidness.
We as women work hard to try and keep our husbands and families happy and when that is threatened sometimes it just brings out the mother bear in us. Just chalk it up to nature.

Answer 6

I actually don't know what you did that caused world war III. What? Talking to a woman? I thought America is a friendly country. What? She had revealing clothes? See more than that in the beach. Unless she asked for your phone number, it's all a typical day in the park, so to speak.

Do you have a disease that causes you to spill your guts every day? You think you get brownie points for honesty? With your parents when you were little, yes. Women goes nonlinear with the smallest of trigger and are unpredictable. Learn to acquire peace by following these guidelines: Act dumb, fat and happy.

Answer 7

You seem to feel pretty guilty for something you are rationalizing as not your fault. Next time concentrate on your daughter who deserves a dad who only pays attention to her.

I think you need to think about what your motivation in telling your wife was. Sounds like you were trying to shake her up. Why would you be doing that?

Answer 8

Wife will get over it. You old her the truth. If it meant nothing, next time, say nothing and consider your situation one where wife does not have to feel her testing you is threatened. Wife might need therapy to deal with self esteem issues, Meanwhile, you be sensitive and loving towards her.

Answer 9

Hi there,

it depends what you said to your wife - if you were complimenting this lady on her look etc then your wife could be upset.............. but it is such a trivial thing to happen - you need to stop analysing things so much and spend more time with your wife!

Sophia

Answer 10

did your wife get jealous? its good that your honest, but i think its a little white lie that you should just keep to your self. i think the woman was a bit rude, its a supermarket, not a bar.