I have remarried. I have let my new husband 'borrow " money that I saved to send my kids to college.?

Question

He is taking classes also(that I mostly) are paying for. He is feeling VERY resentful that I want him to pay back the college fund that I had saved for my kids. I am working 3 jobs to try to put more back into the college fund. Should he pay me back?

Answer 1

You may be out that money if you do not have a written contract with him.

He may want to finance the rest of his education himself and stay out of your savings. I think you are now out the money you have given him.

The fact that he does not say Thank You, the fact that he's already argueing that he doesn't owe the money back all bode poorly for you.

So, stop the withdrawals, let him finance the rest of his education, or not. That money is for the kids and you're already out a large chunk.

I suspect this may be just the tip of the iceberg due to his attitude. You're obviously a capable woman. Is this a healthy realtionship? Do the kids really literally have to pay for your liason? Is that what you intended? No? You're getting bamboozled, dear. You may want to let this husband go.

Answer 2

Of course, he has to pay it back. A real man should never take money from children (his or otherwise).

But you are opening yourself to major disputes. What you should do is to set up college funds for each kid ( try Fidelity) so the money CAN'T be touched or you have to pay heavy penalty. If the kids are young, the growth is very good and the institution is usually very reliable. The best part about this is the gain is not taxable, which is not the case if you just use your own accounts for the "college fund".

Answer 3

You should not have given him the money to begin with. Since you're married I'm not even sure that legally you can call it a "loan"....better look into that.

As for HIM.....well, he's an a**. WHY on earth are YOU "mostly paying for" HIS classes???????????????????
Particularly when this is money for your children's college funds???????????????????? Why are YOU working three jobs???????

You got yourself into a marriage with someone who doesn't feel bad about taking financial advantage of you and/or your children. He should be going to school PART TIME and working FULL TIME to help pay for both his school AND the household bills.

DO NOT give him any more of your kids college money!!!!!! And if he gives you any more "resentment" about it, ask him if he has any idea how hard you bled and sweated to put that money away for your children, and how awful it makes you feel that he is so callous about it.

I don't think he gives a s***

Answer 4

You buy her a plane ticket home to live with you and start paying for courses at the local community college with the money. If she doesn't accept those terms, keep saving, wait until she's 30 and then treat yourselves to a trip around the world (although always leaving open the offer that you will pay for the CC tuition directly if she is passing courses). No way no how do you give her money for an apartment to shack up with her boyfriend. When she's paying completely, that can be her business.

Answer 5

You may not like this answer but you AND your husband need to hear this:

You never let your spouse "borrow" money. When you get married, what's yours is his and what's his is yours. If you went in with the mindset that you are letting your husband borrow money, this situation was doomed from the onset. The reason your husband is upset is because he feels that if you loved him enough to marry him, money wouldn't be an issue between the two of you. In marriage, you don't borrow or lend money to your spouse, that's just ridiculous. You're married for heaven's sake which means whatever you came in with, money, cars, houses, children, mental issues, all goes in to the same pot for everyone to enjoy and suffer. If you don't see it that way, you may be in for yet another divorce.

Now your husband should DEFINITELY put money back into the college fund. As a man, he should feel obligated to replace that money without you having to ask him. Shame on him for not assuming that he was going to replace that money, shame on him. He needs to rethink HIS mindset on this situation and do the right thing. No self respecting man would ever use money that was intended for the higher education of his and/or his wife's children without fully intending, without even thinking about it, on paying it back. I hope he takes a look in the mirror and figures it out.

The two of you need to sit down and iron this thing out. It may not seem like a big deal now, but if the two of you don't get this thing straightened out, it may very well end up defining and ultimately ending your relationship.

Answer 6

Of course he should. You should have never even let him know that you had that money. There are college loans that he could get, no matter how his credit is, and he wouldn'y have to pay it back until after he finished school. Since you are married, you can 'take' the money back. Tell him that that was for your children, and you are not going to let him take that away from them. A MAN doesn't take ANYTHING from children. He should pay you every penny of it! Although you should not have let him touch it in the first place, you still have the grounds to say he should pay it back. This wasn't your money, or his, it was the children's. If he isn't man enough to pay it back to them, you don't need him hunny. I would take him to court over it, married or not. This is dealing with your children's future, what is more important than that?....A childish husband?

Answer 7

So you thought you were being helpful when you took your hard earned money that you saved for your kids college fund, so that your new husband could use it. My opinion and my opinion only, I think your kids can answer that question best. That man should be taking care of you and your overworking yourself to re-save what you had already saved once. He should be man enough to pay that back instead of having your question yourself. I wish you as a hard working mother the best, there is not many like you.

Answer 8

Well, your first mistake was lending him money that was earmarked for your children. But, what's done is done...

When you gave him the money, was it made clear that it was a loan from you to him? If so, then he has no right to complain about your request to pay him back. It gets a little dicier if there was miscommunication at the get go, but still...if he knew that the money was coming from your children's college fund, then he should be respectful enough to repay it.

Why isn't he paying for his own classes? Either through his own saved money or by taking out student loans in his own name? The first thing I'd do is stop giving him money from my kids college fund and let him figure out a way to pay for it himself! It would be one thing if he was taking money out of a joint account that you both contributed to, but its absolutely shameful that he's using money that you have been saving over the years (before you and he were even married) for his own children.

Answer 9

Heck yes he should pay you back. I would make him sign that he agrees that this is only a loan from money borrowed from YOUR kids college fund and must be paid back. Then have the paper kept somewhere safe where he can't get to it. I am sorry but he sounds like a freeloader. Be careful to protect your kids future.

Answer 10

YES he should!
You have worked your butt off with three jobs to pay for college funds and his classes but mostly all u want to do is pay for your kid's college fund!! He's using you and is taking advantage that he is your husband...since its your money and not his, he should pay you back!
But talk to him first, tell him that the children are the future...what future would that be if they couldnt go to college because there was only a little amount of money?
Best of luck!
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(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•melissa aka inyumi