How to teach your kids to stay away from drugs/alcohol/smoking?

Question

I have a 10 year old that I'm preparing for the pressures of being a pre-teen/teen and more than likely being offered drugs and/or alcohol at some point. He has been through DARE at school and asks a lot of questions and seems to have his mind made up but I'm curious what other parents have done to help the child overcome these temptations once they start Jr. High/High School. My thought is being open is the best policy but any other suggestions I would like to hear. Thank you.

Answer 1

You have to teach them, and show them them what drugs, alcohol and smoking can do to the body. AS well as informing them about STD's, pregnancy and so on.

You also need to keep yourself educated in what is happening so you could sense signs in your child. Pattern changes in a child needs to be addressed when you see them.

Always be open with your child, like you are doing. If the child has a concern, they know they can come to you with their questions without the fear of being repremanded.

Then trust in them with the knowledge you gave them and just pray ... because it is very tough out there for the youth of today.

Patty
Single mother now of a 40 year-old. :)

Answer 2

I am a graduate of the DARE program also and it does NOT work, sadly. I became addicted to drugs at the age of 16 because I was not told that using drugs at parties could lead to addiction, I didn't know anything about addiction, I just thought maybe I'd loose some brain cells. But with everyone else doing it, how bad could it be? People showed me all the pictures of what it does to your body and all that, but the truth is, it changed my brain and body. I was not the same person anymore and even though I'm in recovery, I will probably never be the same again. I was homeless also and thats what happens when you use drugs, if it doesn't lead to jail or death. I feel so sorry for kids who don't know the true dangers and the parents who have no where to turn for info. So I am writing a book for kids, to help them understand how dangerous drugs are and what it really does. When kids are that young they learn things in health and DARE class but it's mostly about marajuana, and I think that makes kids curious than anything. They should tell them about hard drugs because thats whats going to be pushed on them in the coming years. But I was the last kid anyone would expect to become an addict, I wanted to become a police officer and did well in school. But I am also raising my 14 year old niece, so I know how hard it is to communicate sometimes. I think it's great that you want to be honest and communicate with your child about drugs at this age. I find a lot of parents wait until it's too late to have an effect. Good luck and feel free to e-mail if you have any questions. Sorry for the long answer. :)

Answer 3

My parents weren't all "Don't drink or we'll KILL YOU!" or anything. They basically said "Please don't do this until you're a grownup - here's what it does to your body and here's all the dumbass s**t that people can do while they are drunk or high." I went to a potluck with them one time when I was maybe 10 or 11 and a guy there got really really drunk and my parents had me stay and watch how idiotic he was. That totally made me go "I NEVER want to act that stupid!"

I think it probably helped that my parents weren't big drinkers. They would have a glass of wine once in a while, but I don't think I saw either parent actually drunk until I was in my mid-twenties.

I had a "contract" with my parents that we both signed when I was 12 that said if i was ever somewhere where people were drinking and I wanted to leave, I could call and they would give me a ride no questions asked and I would NOT be in trouble. I used that contract several times in highschool to get home from parties where people were out of control. My dad picked me up a block or so away so I wouldn't get embarassed and they upheld their end of the contract by taking me home and telling me they were very proud of how responsible I was.

They also gave me some tips for when you just CAN'T avoid peer pressure - things like "Have a glass full of coke and tell everyone it's a rum & coke" or "have a glass of cranberry juice and tell everyone it's vodka & cran" then they will think you are drinking and leave you alone. I had asthma so whenever someone offered me pot I'd just say "I can't - I have asthma" so you could totally say that even if you didn't have asthma for real. I would also tell people "Oh I can't - I'm the one driving everyone home." Even teens usually respect that.

Anyway, the point of all my babble is I'm in my mid 30s now and still am not big on drinking or anything. My parents never threatened me with punishment, they just gave me ways to "get around" peer pressure.

Good Luck!

Answer 4

I'm all about honesty. My kids know that I used to do the stuff. They also know that it turned me stupid and my graduating high school only happened because the teachers didn't want to see me for another year.
I also point out to them that although I stopped taking drugs as a teen, I became used to making stupid choices as an adult, many that they have witnessed.
I am in my thirties and only in the past eight years have I started turning things around but the kids have seen that it has been a difficult thing for me to do.
I have impressed on them that they do NOT want to do this to their own lives.
Telling kids simply not to do drugs does not work. A living example that the kids can see can work.

Answer 5

Hopefully, you started laying the foundation down several years ago. Also, lead by example. Drinking and smoking is something done by several adults and yet we tell our children not to do the same thing. If you smoke, try to quit and involve your children in your quest for quitting. Let them see that you know you made a bad decision and what you are trying to do to fix it.

There are also several books that tell the stories of young people who made poor choices and the consequences of those choices.

Be aware! Know your childs friends, know where they are and what they are doing. This is imperative.

Watch for signs that could signal something being wrong. Look for changes in friends, eating habits, sleeping habits, grades in school, interests in clubs sports..... Changes in any of these areas could be a sign that you need to talk to your child.

You are also correct that being open is one of the best policies. Having an open door policy is wonderful. Just remember to tilor the information you give out to the age level of your child.

Good luck in preparing your child and in dealing with the upcoming teen years.
La

Answer 6

Kids are quite responsive and understanding if facts are presented in the right ways. As adults we often fail to realise this. Keeping this in mind, the best path would be to tell them in a clear and precise way the effect drugs/alcohol/smoking causes in life. Make them understand that peer pressure isn't worth destroying life over and use real life examples to emphasise this point. And try to keep a minimum in things which sound preachy and threats are a definitely no-no as these things might cause your 10 year old to rebel. Hope I helped. :)

Answer 7

Well first of all, you shouldnt do drugs /drink alot, smoke, or have any of that in your house hold ,because then they will be tempting, to child and they will be curious, second tallk to them about all, things that could happen to them, and help them understand that its bad, and third get them ready for peer pressure because every teen is going to go through it at one point, so make sure that your little one makes all the rights decisions.

Answer 8

well just be very open with your son. you can't be with him all the time, but when he asks you a question about drugs or alcohol, do your best to answer him truthfully, even if it's something you're not sure he should know. my mom always protected & sheltered me from the bad things in life when i was younger, but as i got older (around 9 or 10) she introduced me to the real world & told me just about everything i would have learned from my peers. because the information was coming from her with a message to avoid those things, i haven't smoked, drank, or tried any drugs & i'm 16. just be wary of any parties your son is going to, because as he gets older almost ALL of the parties will have alcohol, maybe you don't have to discuss this w/your son now, but go ahead & start setting reasonable rules that you want him to follow in the future. my mom & i have talk about EVERYTHING, & she has strict, but reasonable, rules that i have to follow. be very open with what your son asks & how you answer.

Answer 9

My 11 year old adughter also went through dare at school but I talk to her about the dangers all the time.

Answer 10

participate him in outside activities like football classes or probably acting classes... have alot of talks with him -- this will eventually tighten your relationship. ask him what he likes, what he wants to be when he grows up etc etc and let him do that (only if it's right). give him freedom. but not too much. don't embarrass him in front of his friends, this will sometimes make him dislike you for some apparent reason. or, homeschool him to prevent all this. it's the best choice after all. but be sure to let him be outdoors and take part in outside activities. i guess this would help. :)