Do couples who split up after living together, suffer as much as married couples who get divorced?

Question

What are the cause of the grief?

Answer 1

While, I've heard the heard the statement many times before you presented, I haven't ever fully agreed with it. Yes, a breakup when two people are living together can be incredibly painful, I don't think it compares to divorce. First, as people have mentioned, there are no lawyers involved, property settlements, and potential depositions and such. Often one party (rightly so or not) wants to cause as much grief for the other half as possible using the civil process. This isn't present in a breakup with no legal contract (marriage).

Secondly, you really can't compare a divorce to a simple breakup. Marriage is a sacred institution and divorce carries with it personal stigma and shame for some. Right or wrong, this affects many, many people.

You could make a case people shouldn't live together before marriage due to many reasons, including religious, but I simply don't buy that the two are equally as painful.

Answer 2

When you live together before getting married you are enjoying all the benefits of marriage without being marriage. You're living together and normally people who live together before marriage decide to just give it a go and if it doesn't work then they can just break up. Unfortunately, a lot of people I know who lived together before marriage see marriage the same way... if it doesn't work then we'll just break up. Marriage doesn't change anything for them so they consider divorce like they would consider a dating couple breaking off the relationship. So many people today say that living together prior to marriage is necessary so that you know who you're marrying. But look at it this way... couples have been getting married for thousands of years and it wasn't until the last couple decades that it became socially acceptable to live together first. People entered marriage knowing that it was a life long commitment and they divorce wasn't as prevalent. They seriously talked about marriage before getting married but didn't see the need to live together first. They were committed to each other and so when troubles arose when they were married they worked through it. If people back then didn't need to live together first then why do we need to now? How much has changed? The divorce rate has, but that seems to be more due to people's own expectations. Too many people focus on the physical body of their spouse. Men expect their wife's body to always look the same way and women can be just as shallow sometimes. It's like love is linked to good looks and sex, no thanks to the media. Too many people expect marriage to be a fairy tale, that marriage doesn't take work and that, even if it doesn't work out, they can just break it off instead of working through the hard times. Many people that live together before marriage are less traditional than those who don't so they still may feel like divorce is their back door of escape should anything go wrong.

Answer 3

Of course dear. It is very precisely said that "parting is a sweat sorrow". Whoever it may be after living together when they are parting, definitely will have pain in their heart. It is not only due to loss consciousness but in the depth of their heart this thought will come up that " the person who was mine till yesterday will be some body's tomorrow" . If either of them see the other leading a good life in front of them with somebody, definitely there pain will multiply, because of jealousy. Like that if their second relationship will not work out as they expected also they will feel pain and repentance. This type of feeling will be more or less similar for married or unmarried couples.

Answer 4

Definitely they suffer as married couples do...
unless and then if they have lived a fruitful life....
while living together couples might have shared their happiness and sorrows, etc.... this would have developed intimacy ......so when they get separated they might feel
emptiness...feeling of loniless...insecurity...stress...depresssion.. confusion...mistrust.....these are the after affects.


hope ur facing that .....may be that thought would have made u to type such question in yahoo ...(hope I'm not mistaken)
Time overcomes grief....
all the best.

Answer 5

Emotionally, yes. Financially, not so much. Breaking up after living together is painful no matter if you're married or not. The only difference is you don't have to spend money on a lawyer and go through the whole court thing.

Answer 6

The biggest cause of grief when divorcing is financial.

Answer 7

Never confuse the sanctity of marriage with shacking up
NO!

Answer 8

If neither of you have been married before - you both win- You get to say "Never been married" to your next dates which does not carry the stigma of "A duh, I'm divorced"

Answer 9

Being human, or what passes for human. God loves stupid people, look how many of them he made.

Answer 10

We should have patience and be tolerable.