Need some advice???

Question

My bf and I have been living together for 2 1/2 years. But, we are the total opposite in the way we like our place to look. Meaning, I'm a total neat freak, & he's a total slob. Well, it use to be like this, but we've somewhat found a middle ground. However, every once in a while, he goes back to his old ways. And, it's nasty! He'll leave sweaty gym clothes on the floor, next to the kitchen. He'll cook a meal and leave dishes and food (which will dry and harden on to the stove, and sink) everywhere, etc. Basically, it looks like a tornado hit our apartment. The thing that upsets me and TURNS me off is that it's out of pure laziness. He works 30 hrs a week, if that. Whereas I work 50 hrs a week. I'm really starting to feel unappreciated, especially after his car got broken into the other day, (when he was at work) and I had to clean the mess up, & get the situation resolved. I guess my question is, how do I tell him this w/o him getting offended or ME drifting away from our relationship

i just hate being a nag, and telling him to pick up his stuff. but, then it's like well shoot, we have people coming over. not to mention, in his time off all he does is sleep, watch tv, and play video games. bc, i feel like i'm dealing with a child at times. what's more, i'm completely burned out from work. i can't stand the fact that i have to come home and clean up after someone else.

Answer 1

Best thing to do is to take a moment and talk to him. Let him know how his actions (or in-actions) make you feel. Don't yell at him, because he may just get defensive. Make it clear as to what you want from him and try to come to a compromise.

Things aren't going to solve themselves overnight, and it might take some reminding, but open communication is the key.

Answer 2

If you really want to stay with this immature "boy", here are some things you might try(worked with my husband in the early years). When he leaves his stuff laying in the middle of the floor, pick it up and throw it out! When he starts to look for it, just tell him you thought it was trash, since he didn't care enough to put it in it's proper place. As far as cooking, the kitchen has always been MY domain. If he leaves unwashed items, put them in his favorite chair on on his side of the bed or in his car. (keep a few hidden, to cook YOUR meals with) When all the pots, pans and dishes are out of the kitchen, there will be no way to fix food. My husband wasn't as immature as your friend is. He would leave his dress shoes in the middle of the floor. I fell over them one too many times, carrying groceries or a basket of laundry. I threw them out into the back yard. These were $200.00 dress boots! After he retrieved them from the back yard, He didn't leave them around for me to fall over any more.

Answer 3

face it you are his mother, and you are being taken for granted. their are guys out there like that, and you have one.i hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you relationship has officially gone nowhere. you two have come to a fork in the road. unless you like being embarrassed be bring friends over to a filthy apartment, it's time to make serious changes. it won't take long before the roaches find you, if they haven't found you already. hopefully the next guy will be reasonably tidy to your expectations.

Answer 4

Sit down and talk...if you've already taken that step...it might be time for an ultimatum...
if that doesn't work, you may need to move on.
If your this unhappy, you shouldn't be with him. Also, relationships take work, but it shouldn't be too hard for you.
Good Luck

Answer 5

Welcome to the real world, where women do most of the grunt work.

By the way, I suggest you don't have kids. If you don't like cleaning up after him who only half way takes care of himself than a helpless child who doesn't know better will drive you over the edge. Use birth control.

Answer 6

Men are messy by nature. Try not letting it get to you

Answer 7

people can't be fixed.

Find a new bf would be my advice.