let me tell u before asking this q that i am highly spiritual person and certainly not religious .?

Question

i am in search of truth on all aspects of life and hence this question .......my q:
we all want to grow ...we all want to acheive ...thats fine .....
but in that race we spoil our relationships .....most important ones .....sometimes we feel in competition with one and all including say siblings ....friends ....(would my wife be better than my friend's , my brother's)....say if most of my friends are getting married i may feel jealous .....after reading so much on
relationships and spirituality /personality dev etc etc ....still when feeling jealous if someone's wife is beautiful .....why so ....thats not a smart attitude but then how to deal with it ......if someone tells me abt his acheivement i do not feel happy .....except for the person whom i respect a lot coz of his
integrity such as a high acheiver friend .....how to deal with my insecurities ??

Answer 1

You are trapped in the comparison game. You THINK what other people are achieving around you is somehow better than what you are and have right here, right now. And you don't know how to question that thinking to see it as untrue, as false. The thing with the mind is that the moment you think (and believe) someone has something better than you, your current moment feels worse.

It makes me think that you probably behave or think smugly when you do achieve something ahead of your siblings and friends. You value competition and comparison and when you achieve something new and better you believe you 'win'. If you are spoiling your relationships by trying to achieve more, in my opinion, you are not doing a good job.

There's enough to go around for everyone, dude, and you'll come into your own when you are ready. When you absolutely know that, you'll have enough grace to be happy for your friends and family that do well.

Answer 2

we are all born with a need for connection in our lives the first and strongest is the need for God. we try to explain or deny this need away but it is still there only by relying on Him can we be fully whole. I still feel the same emotions jealousy want
loneliness left out but when I turn to Him those empty emotions
become filled with love and compassion. When you give of yourself you are filled. True giving is not expecting or wanting anything in return. Just giving to be giving then the holes are filled and we can be free and happy.

Answer 3

I recommend
A Course in Miracles
and
Conversations with God (1,2,3,etc.)
books
One thing I've gathered is that to have anything we have to share it for it really to be ours.
To give and to receive are ultimately the same.
It can be only yourself that you crucify.
Happiness is a choice.
Nothing outside yourself will bring you happiness.
You see only the past.
You can see peace instead of that.
What you see is a form of vengeance.
You're not a victim of the world you see.
You invented the world you see with your thoughts.
You can see peace by giving up attack thoughts.

Answer 4

when u r such a spiritual person... then why this jealousy? first important thing comes in lesson of spirituality is to stop craving. not being materialistic... accept urself and things tht come to u.

thts all i can say now... am myself messed up.

Answer 5

Family, you have to deal with. Friend are up to your choosing. Put your emotions in order. First love yourself, them love those that are good to you. Relations always change, don't waist your time trying to make up to none.

Answer 6

It sounds like you feel you are not achieving as much as the people around you :)~