please can you help me find the correct adjective?

Question

For my english essay i have to describe a scene. This is one of the paragraphs i have written:
'the gentle pitter-patter of rain on the dusty rocks drowns out the soft, lonely sobs. The quiet ping, as a tear lands on the glass front of the helmet seems to last for an eternity.'

However, my english teacher (and i agree with her) doesn't think that 'ping' is the right word.

Please could you suggest a better one?

Answer 1

So many times our tears are silent. We cry within ourselves while no one else even knows our angst. Contrast this silence with the sound of the rain rather than blending the sounds. You've already said that the pitter patter has downed out the sobs... so continue this.

I would continue that imagery by changing up the sentence a bit. Instead of looking for a new "noun" to replace 'ping,' perhaps change it to something like this.......

".....the gentle pitter-patter of rain on the dusty rocks drowns out the soft, lonely sobs. Even the quiet tear against the helmet fell in complete silence, a silence that would last for an eternity."

Just a thought. Good luck with your essay. :)

Answer 2

Personally I think that you would be better using "The soft pitter-patter of rain on the dusty rocks, drowns out the sad, lonely sobs. The gentle splash, as a tear lands on the glass visor of the helmet seems to last a lifetime.

Answer 3

Hey me too, ping just didn't sound right before I even read the question.

I would have used splash, due to the fact that it is water, I don't know if drop can be used in this way. Pat would also work for water but is used in the earlier sentance. Could it read, "gentle impact of a tear" and cut gentle from pitter patter

Answer 4

Ping isn't the right word because it contrasts with "gentle pitter patter". And tears landing on glass doesn't make a ping sound.
I think, "The softest splash, as a tear lands on the glass....." would be good.

Answer 5

I would just change the sentence to "The sound of the soft splashing of tears landing on the glass front of the helmet seems to last for an eternity."

Answer 6

Tears landing on a glass surface at close distance would only give a 'long-lasting' memory to somebody who heard the sound from close by... that is the ambience that you are wishing to convey? ... am I right?

See first definition of 'ping' from OED ---
ping

• n. 1. a short high-pitched ringing sound, as of a tap on a crystal glass: the syncopated ping of steel drums.
∎ a percussive knocking sound, esp. in an internal combustion engine: if any sign of engine ping occurs.

• v. [intr.] 1. make such a sound.
∎ [tr.] cause (something) to make a such a sound.

A few thoughts on alternative to 'ping'

chime
ring
clink

Lead me to believe 'ping' is fine... :-)

Answer 7

If it was a quiet ping you wouldn't hear it, so plink wouldn't be any better besides it's a verb I think. you could try to perhaps re-phrase it with something like .....silently a tear lands on the glass etc
good luck though it is a lovely verse, very moving.

Answer 8

Plop sounds good to me . It seems to say the actual sound a single tear drop would make dropping on to glass. Is the term for this onomatopoeia sorry long time since I was studying English .

Answer 9

Tap or pat are more gentle. How about something like, "A tear lands silently . . . "

In this sentence, "ping" is a noun; "quiet" is the adjective.

Answer 10

I agree with your English teacher!

I also agree with the English teacher that has come forward to answer your question.... 10 points for her in my opinion!!

Good Luck!
Tho not sure you should be asking in here for answers to do your homework as its then not your work, but if you looking for answers that will eventually help you in your progression into English then that's excellent!! And well done!