If something bad happened to me, should I tell my parents?

Question

4 years ago, I was sexually assaulted by someone. I don't know who this person was. I became pregnant when I was raped. But I had a miscarriage 2 months later.The only people that know are 2 of my CLOSEST friends, and my boyfriend. My parents don't even know. I get nightmares everynight but when my parents ask why, I tell them I don't know why but I know it's from being assaulted. I can't let guys touch me, not even just hugs. I haven't even kissed my boyfriend yet, and we've been going out a month. I won't let him near me. If anyone even mentions rape, I freak out. Should I tell my parents?

Answer 1

I was raped too. I havn't told my parents. I'm not going to tell you to tell them but hear what I have to say.

I think you should for the reason that you are suffering so bad and you need help and you deserve the help. If your parents are loving and supportive (and rational) I'd tell them. They care for you deeply and they would hate to know that this has happened.

But if your parents aren't supportive I wouldn't tell them, but you still need help. I suggest firstly talk to a doctor. They will give you some advice of where to go next. If you miscarried hopefully you saw a doctor after that.

Remember you DON'T have to go to the police. No one can force you to. I didn't. Do what is best for you, but do remember that he is out there and it's not to late to go to the police. You can also say you wish to not appear in court but it will go on his record.

Please tell an adult if it isn't your parents. Don't let these nightmares go on. You deserve to have a happy relationship with your boyfriend.

I also have the problem about being touched but remember not all guys are d*ckheads and they are not all out there to hurt you. If your boyfriend has stuck around through this, then I'm sure he is a good guy.

Feel free to email me whenever!

Answer 2

Well, I may not be the best person to help you there because I`m a boy myself...but I do have these to say.

The way you`re getting nightmares, the alienation you have with your boyfriend, I know instinctively, that it`s a mental block which will just get worse and worse. You did not mention any help in yout question, so I can assume you are still a victim of the forceful sexual encounter that unknown person and you had.

By that I mean, try helping yourself forget the bad memories by simply paying visits to a counsellor or getting more appropriate advice you need, cuz if you don`t, your nightmares and other `phobias` (I mean scared of even hugged, kissed or whatever), will just get worse and worse.

As for your parents are concerned, let me tell you this. How strict your parents can be or not, they are the best persons to help you out of this. There are various ways I can think of, but make sure you`ve genuinely convinced them.

And for keeping a boyfriend after all that has happened to you, I just want to tell you to think about your relationship once more, just to keep on the safe side because you don`t want to get the same bad experiences again, do you??

FACE YOUR PROBLEMS.....NO NEED TO BE AFRAID!!!

Answer 3

Only you know your parents, but I would think it could only help you, if you tell them. It sounds like you need support and most likely your parents could be there for you. You didn't say whether or not you reported the assault. If you haven't and would still like to, having your parents in the know might make it not so scary. This has never happened to me, and I am so sorry that you have endured not only the assault but keeping the secret. I have found in my life that once a secret is revealed, whatever it is, it no longer has power over me. I can begin to heal and have closure. Maybe your parents can pay for a councilor to help you with this. In the end it is your decision.

Answer 4

Most likely, you will be taken away from your parents and put in a foster home. Some foster parents take in foster children for the money they get out of it. No, it's not a lot of money. Or they may sincerely care for children like you. There may be other children there too besides you. It would be good if you and your siblings could remain together and it is possible that may work out. You will be expected to pick up after yourselves and keep your room clean. It may or may not work out to be the right thing to do and it might be better than living with your parents. I do encourage you to do whatever you have to do to stop the abuse and live a normal life, but don't harm anyone, of course. May God be with you is my prayer.

Answer 5

Unless you're in a position to attend counseling by yourself, then you must tell them. The memory of this horrible experience will not fade with time.

I hope you do tell your parents, and I hope they understand that being raped is NOT the fault of the victim. You did nothing wrong.

Okay, now I'm going to say something that might not be too popular, but here it is:

You must always report any assaults to the police because it may get that violent offender off the streets--so he/she can't hurt someone else.

I hope you do find the help you need. Good luck.

Answer 6

Well it all depends how your parents will react. If you think they are gonna go crazy then you shouldn't tell them. This is your decision to make and not ours. Telling them yourself will only make you a stronger person. If I was in your position I would tell my parents because they need to know. They are your parents and will do anything to help. I'm sure they will love you no matter what.

Answer 7

Dont tell your parents, tell your mom. She ll understand. You know, moms can really be understanding at times and of course, tell her before the fetus develops cuz if this happens, you will not be able to 'dissolve'. Tell it as soon as possible. Dont tell this to your dad cuz men, dont understand.

As for your boy friend and your other problems... you just need to trust. I really understand, you cannot trust anyone, not even your own dad at times, if this is so, you are not to be helped. I am sorry you will have to learn how to trust if you cant, you simply cant

Answer 8

it depends on ur parents too... u should see the condition of when to tell them... if ur parents r understanding.. then u should tell them... actually when we want to tell about our secret or problems to someone.. we are afraid... but after eventually we told them we will feel relieve and glad that we told them and the most important thing is that u have to know that u can trust them and they will understand u and still accept u as u are...

if they can support u or give some solution to your problem that would be better.. but dont expect too much yet...

Answer 9

you should definantley tell your parents let them know itll make you feel so much better if you belive in god you should go to church and pray and ask god to help you if you do i would suggest going to a therapist to get your feelings out and feel secure around boys again im sorry to hear this things like this shouldnt happen but they do with god you can get through anything just tell your self (i know i can get through this) every single day tell your self that it may sound better but do it and dont fall into the promiscouity hype i think youll be just fine ill be praying for you(PS dont feel like youre ugly because alot of people who are sexually assualted feel ugly its not your fault ok)
god bless you
tell ur parents please

Answer 10

yes you really need to tell them. they can get you help. you need to talk to someone ..

my best friend was sexually assaulted by her stepdad when she was 7.. and she talked to someone about it for a while. she still has some problems when it comes to guys. but she is ok.

you really need to get all of your anger, and sadness out. you can't live like this.

you could have really hurt your body by not going to a doctor when you were pregnant. ..

go tell them!