2007-07-06 20:18:11 · 22 answers · asked by tangela r 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Only you can answer your own question for only you realy knows what's going on. However maybe I can give you a few things to think about to help you along.
Certainly if the marriage is on the rocks and it's publicly known, the odds are that it won't hurt to date him. Similarly if he's already separated or in the throws of a divorce. But keep one thing in mind, when someone is in a marriage that's collapsing they can easily fall for the first person who offers a bit of sympathy and caring. That's ok but eventually it won't necessarily work out because once those immediate needs are no longer there they wake up and wonder if they're dating the right person. At that point they often want to exercise their new found freedom and go see who else is available.
If the marriage is sound, at least appears to be and he's only complaining about the odd thing, sure, you can date him too but the odds are that you're not going to get anywhere and that you'll be hurt in the end. In a rocky marriage the guy could just be looking for some companionship and while that could lead to love it won't guarantee that he'll divorce eventually. Usually it's the other woman who loses, rarely the existing wife.
How you decide what you're going to do next depends a lot on your objectives and feelings. If you love him deeply enough and you see him as a future husband you're most likely asking for trouble because the odds of him falling in love with you enough to go through a divorce are not good.
On the other hand if you just like him and see him as a companion and/or friend or lover, and you have no intention of ever settling down, I'd say go for it. You won't be hurt in that case, at least not seriously, and both of you may get something positive out of the relationship.
But there's a broader question too that you need to ask yourself, and that's the extent to which you have any responsiblity to others. If the two of you are found out (and the odds are good you will be eventually) there will be hell to pay. His wife might divorce him, she'll certainly chew him out, she'll certainly be very hurt. Some people will argue that it's your responsibility to prevent something like that from happening, they'll argue that the problems you create are unethical and immoral. Other people will argue that this issue is between him and his wife and any consequences have been brought on by his behaviour alone and you are just the innocent bystander who was caught in the middle.
You'll have to decide for yourself which side of the fence you sit on. No one can tell you which position is correct or best because in reality both positions have validity and both can also be wrong depending on who you talk to.
I hope this helps a little. Good Luck!
2007-07-07 00:42:51 · answer #1 · answered by Shutterbug 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not. You never ever date someone who is married! Not only are you breaking that other persons' heart, you are forcing the person to lie and cheat on their partner. That is not a good thing to do. If you love them that much, make sure all releationships are eliminated except for yours. And even then i don't approve.
2007-07-07 03:25:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the only One that can answer that. Usually in a failing marriage the quest for instant satisfaction becomes the primary goal.
If you fall for the Cheater beware of the possibility of him eventually cheating on you.
2007-07-07 03:40:45 · answer #3 · answered by jamesrichmond28 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well there are certain circumstances.
I think it's perfectly fine to date someone who is going through a divorce but is technically still married. Yet, if there is no divorceage going on, then that's just stupid.
2007-07-07 03:27:09 · answer #4 · answered by Addy//Maquillage [Ohio's Finest] 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
some would justify it by if the married person is not dating you then there will be someone else... but karma will one day bite you in the behind. how would you like it if your spouse is dating someone else???
2007-07-07 04:15:45 · answer #5 · answered by single_n_hopeful 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no u shouldn't, because if u weren't in their life they might work on their marriage, plus u are hurting someone else, and what u do to others most certainly comes back to u at a later date.
2007-07-07 07:30:03 · answer #6 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no! and you should be insulted by the man who asked to see you...he is married! does he have kids? if he does you will ruining an entire family...don't be a home wrecker...there are tons of other single available men out there...don't ruin a family ... that wife probable loves her husband and shouldn't be put through what you are about to do to her..
2007-07-07 05:52:28 · answer #7 · answered by Winter Blossom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now ask yourself that question? If you was married and happily in love would you want your spouse to cheat on you? You don't mess with god's vows. It would come back to haunt you.
2007-07-07 03:57:51 · answer #8 · answered by Promise 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. Believe me, you'll only end up getting hurt. If you're lucky,only emotionally. Most men don't take too kindly to their wives dating.
2007-07-07 03:43:38 · answer #9 · answered by ozwol 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you watched America's Most Wanted or Court Tv! then i rest my case! don't do it
2007-07-07 03:31:12 · answer #10 · answered by jocelyn p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋