my husband wants a divorce please i need someones help!!!!!!!!!!!!!?

Question

i dont understand what i did wrong???? i feel like such a booty call! i loved him unconditionaly for almost 3 years now, i'd write him love letters and leave little chocolates on his uniform's! (oh did i mention he's a marine!) well anyways he's been fighting with me over the stupidest stuff for the last 7 months and then he goes to his moms house (she doesn't really like me) calls me up and desided he doesn;t know if he loves me or not any more and tells me "you know we could just get an annulment and act like this never happened" i was crushed and then he says he never saw himself with me forever and only married me because of our 17 month old baby girl! then goes "oh well the food is here, i gotta go, bye" and hangs up on me while i'm crying my eye's out on the phone! i need some real advise. please someone help me!

Answer 1

He's an asshole if he doesn't love you as much as you love him and to say things like that i advise you to just divorce him he sounds like an asshole.

Answer 2

yes, you will regret getting a divorce without a lawyer, an annulment can only benefit your husband, not you or your baby. I don't even think they allow annulments when there are children involved anyhow. you deserve happiness because everybody does as long as they aren't screwing with anyone Else's happiness. I have a ten month old baby girl along with a couple teens and a whole bunch of other kids for various reasons but my point is I would not allow anyone around my baby girl that did not have her best interest in their heart and it doesn't sound like he has either your best interest or your daughters, it sucks and it is hard to see that but the sooner the better and the better you see it clearly the quicker through it.
Find a strong support system from your family and/or friends and by a support system I mean people who have your best interest at heart and listen to you and your needs and your wants. The people who hurt your feelings, judge you, tell you that you should do things you aren't comfortable with, etc. are not your friends, even the related ones......remember that this is all you get so get the best life you can and it might not be with this guy but a good life exists outside of control freak men......I didn't get a divorce lawyer and regret ed it for awhile afterward.

Answer 3

Hello Cassandra,

You probably didn't do anything wrong. Sometimes you can love a person a lot more than they love you. One day one of you wakes up and goes, "I don't want to do this anymore." I know right now you are upset, but once you evaluate the last 3 years, you will see you were trying a lot harder than he was. Consider it a blessing in disguise. If he does not appreciate you and the things you do now, it will not get any better.

I know you are hurting, as we all would, but you have a young child and you need to focus on the future for the two of you. That may mean going back to school or finding a job with a decent salary. But put the focus on you and not him. Since you are a military dependent, you have access to counseling if that is something you want to consider. It can be joint or individual.

One day you may be thankful this happened.

Take care.

Answer 4

It sounds like a tough situation. I say, you talk to him, do whatever it takes to talk to him. and show him that you have interest in saving this marriage. Maybe his family is trying to mess with his head [or i don't know]. Let him know that whether you two decide on a divorce or not, that you will talk it out first. Try asking him what's going wrong. If you two can't work out a problem, try going to counseling or something. If not, then I'm sorry, but there are other men out there for you as well, even if you're married and have loved this man for years and years, sometimes people aren't meant to be, and you have a to be a strong woman and know that. This is going to be a hard time if he keeps acting up, but for now rely on your family, and friends as much as you can. & have a plan in case this whole marriage thing doesn't work out. Make sure he at least acts responsible about the fact that you still have a child together as well.

Good luck with everything.
Hopefully this is all a misunderstanding
and communication works everything out.

:)

Answer 5

I am so sorry sweetie! There is nothing anyone can say on here to help you take away the pain. If he is acting like this then something is up. If he is going to treat you the way he did, but saying that stuff then he isn't worth it. You deserve better.

When you have calmed down and are not crying any more. you need to call him back and ask him to come and sit and talk to you about this! Talk like a adults. Make the rules clear, no screaming and yelling, no insulting, ask why, let him explain, you explain how you feel, etc.

I wish I could make it better. I am so sorry you are going though this.

Remember if he is just with you and doesn't love you, You deserve better.

Try and keep your head up and take care of youself. Good luck.

Answer 6

Poor lady.

Well, I have no clue what happened, of course. I can't tell from what you wrote whether he has indicated to you what he thinks are the causes for his thoughts, feelings and decisions. But you did say that you do not understand what you did wrong.

It sounds like you are in a lot pain inside. All ripped up.

It also sounds like he is confused over something, really badly. I still wonder, has he actually told you why? I'm assuming not. Have you asked? Not that it will change his mind, but so that you would maybe know.

Anyway, maybe the Marines did this to him. not as in the Marines will do this to a guy, but as in some people have character and disposition changes occur in connection with Marine Corps service, and sometimes those changes are not nice.

Or he could be mentally unstable right now. Maybe he is caught up in an emotional drama in his mind, maybe as aprt of severe depression, such that he believes that something in his life is blackened or doomed, something (!), or that he never liked you, or whatever, and he can't stop these thoughts from intruding, and he's confused. Like a bad movie playing.

We just don't know.

Can you get him help? Can you get you guys help together?

You could get a stable moment for yourself and come up with exactly how to tell him what you're observing going on here, including that you have no clue what happened on your part. Inlcude what you want!!! You actually just want your husband back, no big apologies or worries required, right? Say what you want, what you see happening, what you know about it and what you don't know about it, and how you feel about it.

I feel your pain, sweet one.

I too get all fouled up with my girlfriend. I am an extremely compassionate person. I mean it's uncanny! I feel other people's pain. I feel everything intensely. I experience emotions intensely. It's a bit to handle. Also I give a lot when others respect me. I try to brighten their lives better, as long as they are my audience. I'm very intuitive, and seek deep understanding. I connect with people and events at deep levels. That's good. The downside is that I get out of whack sometrimes. I have to keep control over the intensity of life that I experience. If I get out of whack I can really foul things up when talking with my girlfriend, particularly on the phone. I might call to tell her that I would like to help her paint her wall, but start picking at her over somehitng and turn it into a fight. And all I want to do is stop fighting! It becomes a bit of a communication habit after a while. And then that's the thing that's hard to stop. The communication habit that forms.

I shared that with you because I know I am a good person. So does my girlfriend. I swear to it though that with her I got very lucky. She's a good person, and so am I. But I sure do get caught up in some weird ways of showing it.

I hope he will understand that you do not want what is happening right now, and that he will see that you guys need to work together to end this way of communicating. I hope that for you.

Be well,
TQRP

Answer 7

sounds to me like he's trying to sabotage his marriage, for what ever reason...
maybe he's scared or upset about all the changes his life has taken ( marriage, baby, adult responsibilities, etc,)
Maybe he is confused about the direction his life is taking, as opposed to the direction he may have envisioned for his self. He may have woke up one day and " BOOM" realized life is complicated...OPPPS.
If something like that is what's happening, i would suggest you hang in there and give him some time to adjust, mature, or sort things out in his mind. Including his real feeings for you. I'm sure you think deep down he's a good guy, so you have to decide if you want to hang in there to see if he comes around. But not forever of course....BTW dont blame yourself, you sound like a real sweetheart, not a booty call..The two of you need to communicate and have some quiet , calm talks...good luck

Answer 8

I want to say first that I am sorry that your going through this type of pain. I think what he's saying he don't want to be with you anymore. I think his using excuses to cover how he really feel. It might be someone else. Face it sweety, if he can do you like this and your married it's only going to continue. I thought for along time that I could change away a person feel only to be disappointed in the long run.

Answer 9

Pray about this. Prayer is very powerful. Lift your concerns to the Lord earnestly just like your telling us here, tell it to the Lord. Get on your knees and ask the Lord earnestly to forgive your sins. Ask Him to come into your heart. Only Jesus can help my dear friend. He will give you peace, love & joy that is indescribable.
A book that helped me open my heart to the Lord more was "Power of a praying Woman" by Stormie Omartian. She has also written "Power of a Praying Wife" Both are really good books.
There is a 24 hr sevice where you can get Godly advice if you need to talk to someone & is free.
http://www.jesus2u.org/

The Lord has helped me through many difficult times in my life with my marriage & children. All I had to do is have faith in Him, & believe. The peace that He gives me, no one else can. The enemy wants to destroy our marriages & to bring division instead of unity. Put your trust in the Lord Jesus for He cares & loves you.

Matt 11:28
28 Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.

Jeremiah 29:11-13
11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. 12 Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. 13 And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.

Here is a love letter to you from Almighty God. Very encouraging to know how much He Loves us.
http://www.fathersloveletter.com/flltextenglish.html

I pray the best for you and your family.

Answer 10

Cass, take it from a 30 yr who been defeated and destroyed by many reationship to you..
(it seems in your previous post you are just a kid too..)

go back home with your family and raise your kid..
cause if he's an a**h**, it will not be healthy for your kid..
she's very young and easily broken.. so are you..

you're young... you'll love again... wisely and better...
he doesn't see you and him togehter forever, but if forever is always fighting and him running (surprising for a marine and shame on him for violationg a code of honor) than it's better that it's not forever...

take care best of luck...

Answer 11

If he never saw himself with you...then how did he get involved enough to get you pregnant. That makes it sound like a booty call. Maybe he's depressed and needs medication. I take Wellbutrin XL and a better person...Maybe you do need a divorce. But try counseling, God and possibly medication before you just give up on the only life you daughter has ever known! Good luck!