That I don't like going to his parents house because it is filthy without causing a huge fight? The carpet hasn't been vacuumed in over a year, the kitchen looks as if it's never been cleaned, and there's mold EVERYWHERE!
Not to mention all the expired and rotting food in the fridge that everyone in the family actually eats...
2007-07-06 19:10:25 · 16 answers · asked by telenanher420a 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I wish I was exaggerating... They let their dog soil the carpet and only place a towel over it and leave it there. They were never this bad before. I actually was researching getting a maid service for them this afternoon. Is that not a bad idea?
2007-07-06 19:27:33 · update #1
well, he has eyes, i am sure he has noticed this too. tell him you fear for your health and you rather invite them to your house. i do not think he can fault you for not wanting to puke.
2007-07-06 19:13:56 · answer #1 · answered by Christina V 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Easy. Just like this, "Honey, I don't like going to your parents house because it is filthy. The carpet hasn't been vacuumed in over a year, the kitchen looks as if it's never been cleaned, and there's mold EVERYWHERE!
Not to mention all the expired and rotting food in the fridge that everyone in the family actually eats... They let their dog soil the carpet and only place a towel over it and leave it there. They were never this bad before! I am sorry if you are mad, but marriage is about communication, sacrifice, and compromise."
2007-07-07 18:39:33 · answer #2 · answered by jim c 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That sounds quite familiar to me. I am not exactly a clean freak, but I am grossed out at my inlaws also. Our solution is that my husband goes to visit alone. I don't have much of a relationship with them anyway, so that works out well. I wouldn't do the maid service thing. They would see that as insulting. People who have filthy homes are in a strange way kind of just happy with the way it is, and you would be seen as interfering.
2007-07-07 10:28:58 · answer #3 · answered by I39 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That house sounds like a health hazard!! I wouldn't want to go there either! However, you might be exaggerating just a bit, think about it really. People have different standards of cleanliness. Your husband grew up there, he didn't die. Did you not go to their house before you were married? Did you not know his mother is not a housekeeper before you married him? You and your husband need to talk about this because if it's disturbing to you, you won't want your kids going over there and that's going to cause big trouble. Too bad you didn't know any of this before you married into the fam!!
2007-07-07 02:17:47 · answer #4 · answered by gma 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The maid service IS a bad idea. You would be grossly overstepping your bounds. That is their business, not yours. If you don't like it, then you have every right to refuse to go over there. You do NOT, however, have the right to impose or force a change onto them.
As for how to avoid a fight - good luck. I went through the same thing with my husband. It just took time and lots of talking. Whatever you do, don't insult them or their household - you have to remember that these people are your husband's family, and he loves them. Since you love him, you have to be respectful.
Good luck.
2007-07-07 02:31:27 · answer #5 · answered by Magaroni 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you should bring it up to him in a calm, factual way. don't say it when you're on your way there, or bring it up during an argument or anything. just start by saying something along the lines of how you spend the time to clean up your own home, keep things clean and throw out the spoiled food. but at his parents, it's not that way and it makes you feel uncomfortable to be around it. maybe you can suggest that his parents visit you at your home instead, or maybe the possibility of meeting them elsewhere.
when you bring up the "problem", try to offer a solution!
good luck! :)
2007-07-07 02:16:03 · answer #6 · answered by cat 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
are u sure u r not exaggerating? mold everywhere is a MAJOR health hazard and you should talk to his parents about it.
but does your husband enjoy going over there? or is it only for holidays or stuff like that.
maybe you could give them maid service as a present?
2007-07-07 02:17:55 · answer #7 · answered by chieko 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Don't hire a maid for them, they are obviously content living in their home. It may be too nasty for you but not to them or they would clean it.
Tell your husband in a nice way that due to the filth and stink your too uncomfortable going over there.
2007-07-07 02:36:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would just suggest that you and your husband, and other members of the family, just get together and have a cleaning bee over there. Don't hire someone, it would embarrass his parents. Just send the parents away for the day somewhere and just get this done.
2007-07-07 09:46:21 · answer #9 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
just dont go, thats what i did and my x husbands parents house was not as bad as your, but i was not taking a baby over there and i think my hubby was relived.nothing ever said.
2007-07-08 18:01:13 · answer #10 · answered by caviler2 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
let him know that maybe he should spend some time alone with his family and just go every now and then instead of all the time or you could grab a mop and get to cleaning instead of complaining
2007-07-07 02:15:51 · answer #11 · answered by mmedina96 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋