My hubby and I had a fight a few days ago. I thought he was cheating on me and it turned out to be a huge misunderstanding. I have completely moved past it and want to go on like it never happened. He on the other hand is moping around. He's on depression medication and I had no idea how bad off he was until this fight. Evidently he thinks about killing himself often and the antidepressants have been no help. I told him to go back to the doctor and get a different dosage or a different medication, but he claims that the doctor "can't help him". He thinks that I won't get past this whole cheating thing and that it will always be in the back of my mind and that I will never let it go. It was my fault. I blew it way out of proportion and I have already let it go. I just want my hubby back. It's like he's not even here. I haven't seen him smile in days and when he talks to me it's so quiet that I can't even hear him. I told him that I want my husband back and he said...
2007-07-06 18:22:54 · 12 answers · asked by redpeach_mi 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
that he would probably never be the same person and that I should just divorce him. I don't know what to do. And the sad part is that today is our anniversary. Can anyone help?
2007-07-06 18:23:46 · update #1
I never said that i wanted to divorce him. I love him dearly and he is the father of my children. I can't stand to think what my life would be like without him.
2007-07-06 18:29:27 · update #2
Your argument is only a symptom, the big issue is his depression. The only solution is medical help and recovery takes a long time, at least 3 months and often more.
If you want to help him you need to be patient and supportive and encourage him to get more medical help. Let him know that you are there for him and you want to get through this with him, for both of your benefits.
Good luck. What you are doing is not easy but I think it is a very sound investment in a better future for both of you.
2007-07-06 20:24:11 · answer #1 · answered by John B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to try and imagine how you would feel if the roles were reversed - what if your husband accused YOU of the ultimate betrayal, and YOU were innocent? That'd be pretty hurtful, and you probably wouldn't be able to just pretend it never happened a few days later. So accept that you made a big mistake, and give him time to forgive you for it.
As for his depression - it's hard to find a doctor that's really helpful in cases like these. If he insists that his doctor isn't helping him, then take his word for it, and help him find another doctor. Depression is like quicksand - don't get mad at him for not being able to pull himself out. HE wants his old self back just as much, if not more, than you do. You married him for better or worse, right? This is the worse. You've gotta help him through this.
2007-07-07 01:29:27 · answer #2 · answered by Magaroni 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
OK FIRST OF ALL..... i want to say do not, DO NOT pay any attention to any of these FOOLS who are bad mouthing you! I know how bad you feel! trust me i do. Assure your man that you love him. Let him know that YOU KNOW how much of a good husband and father he is. Maybe try to take a little vacation with him to remind him of what you guys had and can have again. Definitaly talk to a doctor and see if there is anything you can do to fix his meds and/or seek counseling. Stick with him every step of the way and let him know that you are going to support him. Designate family time where there is no negativity just good clean family fun... picknicks, movie time, bord games, evening walks or the beach.. i hope things work out for you! take care and god bless.
2007-07-07 02:03:49 · answer #3 · answered by who are you anyway?? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At least you admitted blowing things out of proportion -- a special skill of women that rely heavily on emotions. You hurt his ego badly and you just want to go back to normal like nothing happened? I don't know if you apologize and how sincere. Some men can walk it off and some takes much longer. Depends on the guy.
2007-07-07 01:31:56 · answer #4 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, your husband is severely depressed and while your fight didn't help matters, it is NOT the cause of his depression. Don't beat yourself up too much. He needs to stay on his meds but more importantly, he MUST get some therapy. He's going through some major depression and medication alone won't help him. You need to convince him to get therapy. No amount of talking or you loving him will fix this.
2007-07-07 01:32:13 · answer #5 · answered by bestadvicechick 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he won't get a hold of his doctor, you need to and explain what is happening. He needs help. He is having a problem dealing with the high stress situation that he and you were in before and is suffering from a reaction to it. A medicate professional can advise you on what you can do to help. Good Luck.
2007-07-07 01:28:24 · answer #6 · answered by Praire Crone 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why are women so fast to accuse their husbands of cheating? I honestly don't get it. Women must think that they're married to the most gorgeous guy in the world if they think that some chick out there is willing to have sex with him, knowing that he has a wife and kids. ANYWAY.........
If I were you two I would seek professional help. Nothing anybody tells you in yahoo answers is going to give you the answer you need. The best I can tell you is for you both to think back to the people you were when you met and fell in love. Try and go back to being THOSE people again. But once a trust is broken, it's hard to build back. Both the trust a husband loses for cheating, and the trust a wife loses when she wrongfully accuses her husband of cheating.
2007-07-07 01:34:00 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
So your a dumb vicious bilch, and would have killed him if it were true. He's too depressed to mess around. But being a mean bag of hatred, any excuse will do to slam the man. You've gotten thru it, and moved on, and you can't understand how you insults, and charges have cut him to the quick, and and penalty for being true to you is to be ridiculed , held up as a sleazebag, and derided, probably all in public. You need a good beating. You should live in terror is pissing off your devoted, depressed, idiot husband, you'd be in the hospital is some places. He needs to divorce you. Soon.
2007-07-07 01:45:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Sounds kinda like ya'll haven't been married more than 2 years.you have a baby.He can't accept the responsibility.He can't handle it and is playing a head game about his "depression".He probably is cheating on you and is is playing his game so he can continue cheating and make you feel sorry for him.Get him into court so you can support your child and divorce his a**. 9-11 should have taught you that life is too short.Move on with your life!
2007-07-07 01:43:01 · answer #9 · answered by Dano 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
When you took your vows you promised to love him in sickness and in health, correct? So if he is mentally sick right now, why wouldn't those vows still be valid? If he got in a car crash and lost his legs or if he devloped cancer.. you'd stick by him regardless, correct? So why should this be any different? You dont divorce because things are rough - you divorce because he's beating you or cheating on you. Pull up your socks and stick with him and help him get through it.
2007-07-07 01:27:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋