Will a marriage betwen a 32 year old muslim man and a 44 year old christian evangelical woman work? Any advise

Question

We love each other very much and share a lot of things.We've never met each other pesonally, only through webcam for 6 months now, but we're planning to. I'm mexican and he's from Dubai. He loves latin culture. He's married, but unhappy and will divorce, not cos of me, but because he's been unhappy for 10 years already. He divorced a second wife who cheated him. He proposed me to marry him. We won't have children if we marry. He doesn't care that I'll be 55 when he is an attractive 43 man, he told me he won't marry any other woman besides me, cos he found his soul mate. He's had other past relationships at the same time of being married, but he says he found true love now and he has told me about them. He wants me to trust him and he encourage me to ask him whatever I want. He says he trustes me very much also and wants to come to Mexico to live for good and make up his life again. He's the General Manager of a family business, I've research on him and he hasn't lied to me. Help!

Answer 1

I know you feel all these strong emotions, and want to believe him when he says he will never leave you because NOW he's found true love, but honestly his track record shows thats probably not very likely. As far as I can understand, this would be his third or fourth marriage? I'd feel pretty safe in assuming he made the same promise to "never leave" with each of the other wives, or else why would they have married him? Now maybe he was justified for leaving the wife who cheated, but as for the other wife, never leaving would mean not leaving even after 10 years of unhappiness. Also, you sat he has cheated on these other women before, and tells you he won't do it now, but again, I'd guess he told his ex-wives he wouldn't cheat on them either. As for your part in all of this, only you can decide if you really believe he has changed so dramatically, that even though he is CURRENTLY cheating on his wife (they are not divorced YET) by having a relationship to you, he will immediately stop if you get together. Honestly, if you are truly a practicing evangelical Christian woman (as I consider myself to be) my best advice to you would be to do A LOT of praying, and reading the word, and asking God for his will in this situation, and when you think you have an answer, run it past your pastor and some other mature Christian believers to see if they confirm or challenge what you feel you have heard...just based on the Biblical side ("do not be unequally yoked...") I imagine I know what the answer is going to be, but of course I will leave that between you and God.

Answer 2

I can only speak from my expereince. But im catholic and my ex husband was Shite muslim lebanese. and he told me to trust him and that he will always be like he is now . and that i can ask him anything i want and he will answer. but when we got married it all changed he said he had to become more relgious as he would be treated harder in the after life if he doesn't and its his business as a goof muslim to change me too. and persist but in a soft way so they say. but thats not really true you don't do as they like for what ever reason and they are cruel to you by other means.

Also watch this guy he will say anything to get over to this country rather than his. and sure he doesnt' want any kids with you. he's probably planning to just get a visa free lunch from you then have another woman on the side. I know you dont' think he is this way and all good from the heart. but i wouldnt' trust him. he's telling you everything you want to hear and its too good to be true. and i lived that horrible life it gets worse once married to them. and if you try to tell him anything he won't listen women in there country are second class citizen and you have no vote as far as there concerned. and when i told my ex at the time that i can't put up with his crazy ways and he has to make a choice he said i can always get another wife im allowed up to 4 but i can't get a new family.

Think long and hard your better off living alone and happy than living in prison with that kind of life.

Answer 3

No. You should not marry this man. Everything you wrote says that this is a train wreak waiting to happen.
1. You are not of the same faith and this will cause BIG PROBLEMS!.
2. You have never met him in person.
3. He is married now.
4. He is getting a second divorce.
5. He has already confessed to infidelity while being married. This shows he is not grounded in his faith,he has never taken his vows seriously or respects his wife.
What makes you think that for you he would be different? He already has said so much to show you he does not take his relationships or woman seriously. He lies nad cheats. Please don't do it!

Answer 4

I have serious doubts this could work mainly because family is very important to them and their families will have problems with the whole idea.

Second, I would not even CONSIDER this without meeting him. It sounds like he doesn't have a clue how to hold a relationship together but he's a smooth talker or he wouldn't have so many ex's. Don't be sucked in by sweet talk hon. How about a real live guy in the flesh, near where you live?

Answer 5

Yes! There's a great probability of a successful marriage between the two of you. Of course you have to meet first and see each other for several times before marrying. If you found him persistent to marry you and preserve this sacred bond, then good luck to you both.

But remember that both of you should be open-minded; due to the fact of the existence of cultural and religious differences. But don't let this ruin your relationship. Frankly, I believe that you must be a terrific woman in order to have won his heart. Remember well that the UAE is a waelthier country than Mexico, so he'll have to sacrifice for you.

BTW, you spoke about HIS past but not about YOUR path!

Anyhow, good luck for both of you, and think thrice before you take any crucial step towards this relationship. I would advise reason but not hesitation. Once again, I believe this marriage may be very happy and successful, Amen!

Answer 6

How can someone propose marriage to you when he is still married to someone else? You haven't even met him yet so marriage shouldn't even be considered at this point. I see a lot of red flags in what you have described. If you are both very strong in your religions, it may become a problem in the future. Honestly, it sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. But good luck to you.

Answer 7

You must have missed the part of the bible that says to not be unequally yoked. You dont sound like much of a Christian if you dont know that.

In the Bible 2 Corinthians 6:14 says:


"Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness?"

Answer 8

It wont work, and if he is muslim and already married, hes on the prowl for a Muata a, or temporary wife but the true translation in Arabic is w ho re. Do yourself a favor and cut off your ties to him, hes a cheater, so what makes you think he wont cheat on you? I was married to a Lebanese for a while and all he cared about was his religon, his cause, and his parents. He was after a greencard and a cheap education, and he had temporary wives all over the place, so be carefu.

Answer 9

I feel sorry for you for even considering this relationship. You haven't even met this man!Not to mention, he's married! I think you need to seek counseling and should spend some time figuring out why you are wanting to be with this man in the first place. He is cheating on his wife with you, so what makes him such a great catch? I don't get it. This relationship is doomed from every aspect. Forget this man and get a real life!

Answer 10

If you want a religious answer I will tell you that the Bible speaks of 'being unequally yoked with unbelievers' it tells us as Christians that we are not to marry unbelievers for the sake of peace.

On a more logical and professional level, I would get to know this man a bit more, if he has already had two wives, and is online looking for another it might be best for you to take the time to analyze the situation.