Some of mine are:
-If the cops didn’t see it, I didn’t do it!
-I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
-Soft rock music isn’t rock, and it ain’t music. It’s just soft.
-The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post “Thou shalt not steal,” “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” and “Thou shalt not lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.
-Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
-If it requires a uniform, it’s a worthless endeavor.
-Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
-The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, “You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.”
2007-07-06 16:52:15 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
"This is my quote."
- George Carlin.
2007-07-06 16:57:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
-My car door didn't have the little middle hanging part, it was either f'in open or f'in shut
-I'm getting really sick of guys named Todd
-I don't screw with a ghost car. Probably driven by an old lady and I can only see her knuckles. In that case, I pull over and take public transportation. Someone else can flag down the flying dutchman.
2007-07-06 16:57:42 · answer #2 · answered by jg 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
for people who don't comprehend he exchange into an particularly hassle-free comedian interior the 60 and 70s . A Quote: " do no longer sweat the petty issues, and don't puppy the sweaty issues" "continually do although's next" relax in peace my buddy.
2016-10-01 01:38:02 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't just list some. George Carlin has so many great quotes.
Just read his book Napalm & Silly Putty. You'll find some great quotes there.
2007-07-06 17:03:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The one I want to post would get taken off of here pretty quickly. Its the one where he lists all 100 curses that there are in the English language (all in one breath).
2007-07-06 16:57:29 · answer #5 · answered by Jill S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.
2007-07-06 16:57:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tonight it will be....dark. (a Hippie Dippy Weatherman forecast)
2007-07-06 16:57:44 · answer #7 · answered by Inundated in SF 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I posted them here I'd get a violation.
2007-07-06 16:55:02 · answer #8 · answered by Damn™ the Man 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting
2007-07-06 16:55:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't sweat the petty things and dont' pet the sweaty things@!
2007-07-06 16:55:17 · answer #10 · answered by â?¥Yummy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Marriage years are like dog years because they're so concentrated."
"Man created dog (sp.?) in his own image."
2007-07-06 16:58:06 · answer #11 · answered by diannegoodwin@sbcglobal.net 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋