Alright. This is gonna sound crazy. But, Has anyone ever watched Gene Simmons Family Jewels? Him and his "girlfriend"(?) Shannon haven't been married and they've been together for 22 years. I want to do that. I'm engaged however. But, I don't want to repeat another one of my family's (and fiances) mistakes. I'm trying so hard not to be like my family or my fiance and get divorced. (My fiance was married once before. I hate that but I'm slowly getting over it).
One main reason I don't want to get married...I have NOTHING to prove to anyone. It's nothing but a piece of paper. I don't need a ring, a paper or anyone to tell my "partner" that I love him and will always be there for him. Always. Am I insane?
***Any smart-*** comments or any rude comments will earn you a complaint with yahoo*** :)
2007-07-06 16:20:09 · 16 answers · asked by le_disko 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No I can understand you . I came from an abusive child hood still today in fact . and my marriage was also very cruel and bad. im divorced now and i'd rather be alone and happy with myself and not anyone being hurtful and cruel than to live and be married to that again. So for me i'd stay single and maybe live with someone too like you mentioned I don't need a piece of paper to say im married either. beside so many marriages end in divorce now. and you never know if there really mean what they say . as my ex lied alot and i only saw evrerything after i was married. so i wouldn't want to have to go through those kinds of suprises again. So living together would be better for me. If he turned out to be a creep i could leave.
2007-07-06 18:54:37 · answer #1 · answered by For ever in my Heart 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well Gene Simmons has all of the money in the world to begin with. He can afford this. You on the other hand... How about insurance needs just for starters. As a wife you can be on your husbands policy. Cheaper auto insurance as well. So your saying that you don't want to spend money on a divorce? Hell your not even married yet! There is no difference between divorcing your husband and leaving your long time live in except for the divorce costs. Lets say that you are just living together and you have child. Whose last name will you use? How about her insurance coverage? Then you decide to split up. You may not be going to court for a divorce, although you will be going to court for child support. What's the difference? I would venture to say that if you think ahead, then you will see the true benefits of matrimony. Just my opinion.
2007-07-06 16:33:29 · answer #2 · answered by pappysgotitgoinon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The primary benefits to marriage nowadays are legal ones. Consider how important any of these things might be to you...
Lower income taxes. Singles pay more than married couples.
If you were ill and could not make your own decisions re: treatment your spouse could do that for you. Your girlfriend/boyfriend cannot.
If you die, your spouse typically inherits your property and life insurance benefits. Unless you have will that specifies the distribution of your assets, your girlfriend/boyfriend is likely to get nothing (and even with a will, family/children can contest).
Spouses can typically take advantage of your health benefits (or you theirs), where a girlfriend/boyfriend cannot.
Spouses may be entitled to some form of financial benefit if you were to die (depending on your career) but a girlfriend/boyfriend would not.
If those things mean nothing to you, then no reason to marry if you can live together and be a couple...otherwise, there are some things to consider.
2007-07-06 16:26:56 · answer #3 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, that sounds good. I wanted that, but my husband considered living common law to be low class. He convinced me to have a wedding because of how happy it would make our families. They are very traditional and religious, so while having a wedding was nothing to either of us and didn't change our relationship in any way (we were already living together), we did it for the happiness of our loved ones and of course, the gifts were cool too!
If your families and you two are not stuck on a social and/or religious ritual, go for it. A wedding does not make a marriage nor is it the only way to achieve commitment. Of course, you may want to consider some of the legal benefits of getting married and how you can achieve some, if not all, of these things without an official ceremony, talk to a lawyer.
2007-07-06 16:26:17 · answer #4 · answered by qwertatious 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know! It scares me. My fiance and I have been together for almost 9 years and I went through a period where I was protesting marriage. Almost all of my friends are either divorced (keep in mind I am still in my twenties) or unhappily married. I never hear any success stories! And I am the product of a nasty divorce. At least I can learn from others mistakes. It's an eye opener!
I am confident in our love for eachother and know that we will make it, so I view the wedding as more of a personal celebration of our love and committment to eachother.
2007-07-06 16:26:55 · answer #5 · answered by NoTurningBackNow 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
no you are not insane. Lot's of couples remain couples for years without getting married or having the paper to prove it. It's what ever makes you and your fiance happy. A marriage is a commitment between two people and there are many different types of ceremonies to make that commitment. So if you want create your own just the two of you and pledge your lives to each other.
2007-07-06 16:26:34 · answer #6 · answered by ofsoundmind 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't get married or find out what you need to do to have a successful marriage.
Having fear of marriage doesn't guarantee that a long term relationship will work either.
It works for Gene Simmons...but you have NO CLUE what his GF has put up with from him.
All the glitters ain't gold. They are probably very comfortable in there relationship at this point in their lives and that is what you are seeing...
2007-07-06 16:51:02 · answer #7 · answered by makinitthru 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel the same way! For some reason I think marriage is just going to ruin the relationship. The couple will take each other for granted and then get bored of each other. Then it'll feel like you're in prison and get in a rut. I've never been married but I'm so negative about marriages. I've been with my boyfriend for a year and 9 months and thinking about marriage just scares me...
2007-07-06 16:30:14 · answer #8 · answered by Pinkie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Married on paper is mostly for the benefits especially if something happens to him or to you insurance and stuff. If he was a rich rock star then you do not have to worry about that kind of thing. Add to that if you have children, you are insane but are not looking at the big picture and the ramifications that come with it Myself married 26 years
2007-07-06 16:27:48 · answer #9 · answered by Pengy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good for you for knowing what you want, but then WHY in the world are you engaged????? Did you just want the bling?
To be yourself, you have to be genuine, that's part of being mature.
Also, if you are never going to be married, then just make sure you aren't going to be having any babies in a shackup relationship. Children need the stability and security of being brought up in a home with loving, married parents.
2007-07-07 02:55:53 · answer #10 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋