I'm going through a divorce. I have been separated for 8 mths now. My daughter, who is 5, is having a hard time dealing. Her father doesn't want to see her. I'm running out of excuses for him. I spend alot of one on one time with her and do everything I can to make this as easy for her as possible. I'm at a loss of what I can do to make it easier for her. What do I do????
2007-07-06 15:04:30 · 4 answers · asked by jennifer w 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would not hide anything from her even at her age, I would just word things to her understanding. She needs to know the truth now otherwise it will be TONS harder on her later in life. Trust me I know, my ex husband was the same way with my daughter and she was the same age at the time, she is 11 now and is doing great. I have always been honest with my children and for that we are closer. You just need to figure out what part of the truth works for your child and go with it. If you lie to her, you will be the bad guy later.
For her sake and your peace of mind I hope all works out for the best.
2007-07-06 15:14:13 · answer #1 · answered by Huskymom23 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jennifer divorce sucks! You are doing what is right by just being with her. I found that the best answer for the hard question of why did they go, is just, "I don't know"! Any others will eventually turn into a lie some years from now and then you will be the target of an nasty 15 year old with an attitude that wants to go live with daddy. If I had to do it all over again, I would have let my wife come back. It was rough on the kids. Too rough and they both turned out horrible. (we had a nasty, long drawn out, divorce) Now I see alcoholism, drug abuse, and sexual promiscuity. Women are now just things to throw away. I didn't teach this trait, my exwife didn't teach it, but, because of her wanting the divorce and the years of court battles afterward (I got custody) they saw how vindictive a woman can get.
2007-07-07 09:34:13 · answer #2 · answered by delux_version 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My brother is the same way to my nephew. It makes me very angry. He is selfish and never thinks of anyone but himself. My nephews mom and brother are not together at all and he does not pay support. She makes excuses all the time like he is working or this or that. My nephew is now 7. I would stop making excuses for him. I would be honest but say it in a way your child will understand. Tell her how some people don't always realize the good things in life. Make sure she realizes it is him not her. Tell her what is important is that you have each other and it is her father's loss he is missing out. My parents went through an awful divorce when I was younger and my mom would tell me your father hates your guts etc... I turned out very successful and normal especially considering all I went through. I remember things all the way to age 3. I remember she got mad at me one night and put me outside porch in the rain and made me sit there. She never got a mother of the year award. It sounds like your daughter will have enough to deal with someday do not make her wonder why you held the truth so long.
2007-07-06 22:31:17 · answer #3 · answered by Jennifer F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a 5 yr old can't really fathom any of this and the last thing i'd want to do id tell her that her dad doesn't want to see her. it wold break her little heart. first thing i'd do is tell him what an asshole he is but, you've probably already done that. then i'd look in to pediatric counseling with someone who specializes in this type of thing. i hope all works out for you and her. peace.
2007-07-06 22:18:37 · answer #4 · answered by racer 51 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋