Or maybe forgive, but NEVER forget. That is mor elike what I do.
I feel like holding grudges punishes me more than it does the person I am actually mad at. So I try to get over things fast, but that doesn't mean I am going tol forget what happened.
2007-07-06 12:29:26 · 21 answers · asked by Cuppycake♥ 6 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I just recently learned to forgive, but boy, I was a serious grudgeaholic!
I never forgave anyone...but now that I am older, I care less, and the things that set me off before are things that don't even blip on my radar......
2007-07-06 12:34:42 · answer #1 · answered by FavoredbyU 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I tend to hold a grudge for a long time, and then forget what I'm even mad about. I think holding a grudge however is a waste of time and energy. If I could just forgive then I could turn that energy onto something better than keeping myself angry at someone.
2007-07-06 13:44:17 · answer #2 · answered by I_am_Here_and_Happy 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree that holding a grudge effects you more than the other person. And certainly if you hold grudges for a long time, that can be a miserable way to be. Insisting on remembering every past hurt means you're reliving that hurt every time you think about it. Best to let it go as much as you can.
But, its very healthy to set your own personal boundaries around the person who has hurt you, to avoid the 'repeated offense'.
For example, if 'Mary' blabs personal things you've told her to others- you can forgive her flaw, that she has trouble keeping a confidence. After all, you're not perfect either. But then its smart not to tell her anything you don't want everyone to know. That's not holding a grudge, that's just learning from your experiences. You can be Mary's friend and feel genuine warmth towards her, but know there may be limits of what you should probably confide in her in the future.
2007-07-06 12:51:43 · answer #3 · answered by daisy nurse 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The longest grudge ever was like three days. But yeah, usually I am able to forgive and forget. Most grudges only last for a few hours.
2007-07-06 12:32:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I dont like to hold grudges but I do sometimes. Your right too your punishing yourself emotionally because youll be mad and wont want to do anything but if you forgive and forget I dont know but its not right to hold a grudge XD
2007-07-06 12:37:34 · answer #5 · answered by Haru 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Neither! basically basically forgive. in case you attempt to forget approximately it wont artwork in any case. conserving a grudge basically makes YOU depressing! Forgive the guy yet do no longer attempt to forget approximately, that way you could no longer ever be tempted to land your self interior the comparable undertaking that harm you. you could constantly love and look after individuals from a distance, without putting your self returned interior the circumstances that contain you being harm.
2016-12-10 04:18:15 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I get mad very easily but I'm over in no time. You can't forget but you can of course forgive. Like you said it punishes you more than the other person if you harp on it.
2007-07-06 12:35:32 · answer #7 · answered by poison_angel32 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Holding grudges is bad, always forgive and forget, you'll thank yourself later in life.
2007-07-06 12:37:55 · answer #8 · answered by Red Ace 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree. I used to let things get to me so bad that I couldn't sleep. Grudges are like cancer. That is so unhealthy. Now I just disassociate myself with that person. I never forget, but I will shut you out of my life. I have learned Karma is a *****. What goes around comes around. It has happened to me and it will happen to others.
2007-07-06 12:38:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think both. i can hold a grudge with someone yet at the same time i can forgive yet never forget. i guess it all depends on the situation.
2007-07-06 12:37:16 · answer #10 · answered by WonderWoman 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋