I want to try again! am I wrong?

Question

I missarried my first baby two days ago (on 4th of July) I was only 4 weeks pregnant. My husband took it really hard, and although I am disspointed and sad I would like to start trying again asap!! My husband is still very devistated! This morning he was sitting on the couch quietly crying and I felt heartbroken!!
I feel like it is all my fault!
and I want to try again! this time I will eat everything I am supposed to and make sure I walk slower and take more care of the situation!!

Am I wrong for wanting to start again so soon!!
He wants to wait a few months, but I dont!!

I want to start trying once I am over my period ... next week~

Answer 1

You and your husband need to have a heart-to-heart about BOTH of your feelings after the miscarriage. You need to listen to why he feels so sad, and explain why you want to try again so soon. It's not wrong to want to try again already, but you BOTH need to be involved in the decision.

Answer 2

Talk to your doctor about this. Some will say to wait a few months, but others will give you the go ahead right away. Since you were onlly 4 weeks, it may be fine to start trying right away. In fact I read an article earlier today saying that you have a slightly increased chance of getting pregnant right after a miscarriage because of the elevated hormone levels in your body. Talk to your husband about it and make sure he knows that this is normal and it doesn't affect your chances in the future.

Also, it had nothing to do with how fast you walked or what you ate. Most early miscarriages are due to chromosomal abnormailities and there wasn't anything you could have done. Good luck.

Answer 3

Wait!!! Seriously honey, you need to give your body a few months to heal otherwise you risk misscarrying again. Your uterus needs time to repair itself. I know that sucks but do you really want to go through another miscarriage? Besides the high risk of that, you should already be eating healthy and excersizing and all of that. That should have started months ago as soon as you decided you wanted to get pregnant. The miscarriage was very likely nothing to do with you. They are typically brought on by genetic problems with the embryo or sperm, not by something that the mother did. I'm not saying you should wait for your husbands sake, but that alone is a pretty good reason, but you need to wait for your health and the health of your baby. Ask any doctor and they will tell you to wait a few months at least. Thats with any pregnancy, even full term ones. You should already be on a healthy diet, taking pre-natal vitamins and excersizing regularly. That will get your body in top shape for a pregnancy......in a few months.

Answer 4

I doubt you will get a period after a week, after a miscarriage you will get a period 4 to 6 weeks later SOME women wait even longer for their period, you are not wrong for wanting to try again, but you should be emotionally and physically ready to start trying again and once you do dont make sex a routine just to have sex live your life as normal as possible and dont let it get to your head because it will happen! Plus walking fast and eating at this stage (4wks preg) hasnt really got nothing to do with the fact you miscarried because the baby wasnt even a baby yet and there was probably something wrong with the hormones/cells/chromosomes that didnt let the 'baby' develop fully so you miscarried, you cant prevent it and you cant stop it, its a natures way of realising theres something wrong so it lets itself out, trust me i had 3 miscarriages before... PS sorry for your loss, keep your head up babe x

Answer 5

I am sorry for your loss. I miscarried in March when I was 4 months pregnant, and I know what you're going through. The loss is unbearable. BUT, my doctor told me you should always wait at least 2 normal cycles before trying again. Why? Because your body is so depleted of nutrients from supporting your baby, that if you concieved again, the next baby will not have the nutrients it needs to thrive and may result in another miscarriage. I know how hard it is to wait, but if you want the best possible chance for your next baby, please just spend the next couple months taking care of yourself and wait a bit. You also need time for your body to heal, not just physically, but emotionally. I went through my worst grieving 4 weeks after the miscarriage. Listen to your husband. Wait a couple months
Also, it was not your fault. There was nothing you could have done to prevent it. Sometimes, when an egg and sperm unite, the chromosomes just don't line up properly, and it ends in miscarriage. It happened to me too. Don't beat yourself up, there was nothing you could have done to prevent it. Again, I understand what you're going through, but I promise you - it honestly will get better. It's still not easy for me, and the hurt is never gone, but I can get by. Best of luck to you.

Answer 6

I'm so sorry for your loss, and I know how you feel because my first two pregnancies were miscaraiges. I think it's fine to start trying again right away.

Please don't feel like it's your fault! The vast majority of early miscarraiges are the result of genetic flaws/errors that occur and are completely random, not caused by any action or non-action on your part. I can guarantee that walking too fast DID NOT cause this, and neither did eating a not-so-healthy diet (although it's still a good idea to eat healthy, of course). Don't worry yourself so much with your next pregnancy that you're not even able to enjoy it, just follow the doctor's recommendations.

Answer 7

I just read that it is better to wait a few months until trying again. Most important is I think that you talk about it with your husband so no one feels guilty for things you can´t change and can´t influence. Your misscarriage was so early that many women wouldn´t have even known they were pregnant-it happens a lot.
And by the way, you are only 24 years old-try to relax, try to enjoy your life as a couple as long as you still can.

Answer 8

The feeling of wanting to try again right away is natural. People grieve in different ways; maybe your way is to focus on determination (you are much stronger than I am) and your husband's way is to wait until he's over the loss. Obviously it hit him pretty hard. I would ask for a doctor's advice and follow it. Your husband will come around, he's just upset right now (understandably). I'm so sorry for your loss.

Answer 9

I've heard that you should wait 6 months before trying again. It's not your fault, I know it sounds cliche, but things like that just happen, and you have no control over it. You didn't do anything wrong, you didn't eat anything bad, it just happens. You and your husband should sort out your feelings and emotions, before trying again also.

Answer 10

The most common cause of miscarriage is a hidden infection. See: http://www.drmirkin.com/women/W128.htm

It is not your fault. Both you and your husband have to be over the loss, before you try again.