yesterday when I went for a checkup. I was about 12 weeks yesterday and when the doctor gave me a vaginal ultrasound she told me there was no heartbeat and that I had a miscarriage. This was my first pregnancy and I wasn't expecting to hear such bad news. The doctor mentioned that things like this happen and that I would have to get a procedure known as D&C. I have done my research about this procedure but I just want to know how( as a woman) can I ever recover emotionally? I have almost passed my probation at work so would it be possible to recover during the weekend( I don't work Sat or Sun) It hurts, I wanted to be a good mother so bad and now that this has happen I feel so lost and hopeless. Has any woman ever felt like they never wanted to try to have a child again because of the emotional pain?
2007-07-06 10:20:49 · 20 answers · asked by voiceofanangell 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Words cannot describe how thankful I am for all of your support/opinions and kind words. I may not know you but I am grateful you were kind enough to make me smile and give me hope. God bless you all....
2007-07-06 10:37:15 · update #1
yes. this exact same situation has happened to me last month. it is so hard. much harder at first but it will be okay in time. You will never get over the loss of your baby but you have to be strong and move on just like you have to be strong about other things that go on in life. I like to think that my twins are lucky that they never have to live on the earth and experience all of the bad things that go on. they never have to feel pain or hurt or sorrow or the way that you are feeling now.They are in Heaven and we will see them there in time but just think, they have a good life up there with God. i never understood why they were put here for such a brief time, but i am soooo thankful they were with me for the time they were. just keep your head up. dont be afraid to grieve. understand that you are the person in this world who was closet to this child and who had the chance to develop a bond with this child. others may not understand what you are going through. if you need to talk my messenger/email is rachiebachie841@Yahoo.com things will look better soon, i promise. God will keep your little one safe for u.
2007-07-06 10:40:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Miscarriage is a loss, plain and simple, and every person who has one will undergo some kind of grief process. It effects everyone differently. It takes time to get over. Right now everything is new and you are especially sensitive and emotional. Now is not the time to decide that you never want to get pregnant again. You'll feel differently later, most likely.
I too had a miscarriage and needed a D&C. It wasn't so horrible. Cramps like a strong period for the first day or two, nothing I couldn't manage with ibuprofen though.
It's up to you when you'll feel emotionally ready to go back to work, but physically there isn't much reason to miss more than a couple of days.
I'm sorry for your loss. It will get better over time.
2007-07-06 10:26:34 · answer #2 · answered by Take A Test! 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby. I have had 2 miscarriages and they can be very devastating especially when you want a baby so badly. The last one was 2 years ago and I was so excited, and at that point I didn't think that I would ever want to try again. You sound like you will be a wonderful mother, so give yourself some time to get over this loss, you will recover and then become the wonderful mother you dream of being! Good luck!!
2007-07-06 10:28:46 · answer #3 · answered by anonymous 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry this has happened to you. I know how it feels, I had the same thing happen to me a year ago. It devastated my husband and I. It will take some time to get over it. The D&C should only take about an hour or 2 and you should have someone home with you for the next 24 hours to ensure you are ok and you don't do unneccessary tasks. It only take about a day to recover from the D&C but emotionally it may take time. You are in my thoughts and prayers and if you would like to talk or have questions you can email me.
2007-07-06 10:27:59 · answer #4 · answered by Daycia 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh, I'm so sorry to hear you lost the baby.
But you're going to be okay. Not that you'll ever get completely over it, but in time it'll hurt less and you won't think of it often.
It's like love, you know? The first time a guy completely breaks your heart, you swear you're never, ever going to care about a man that way again. Maybe you don't date for a long time, but eventually you form a friendship, or get pressured into accepting a date with a friend-of-a-friend, and it's not so bad, so you ease back into the dating pool, and one day, whammo, you really care about someone again.
So don't go rushing out to try for a new pregnancy to replace this child. You can't. You shouldn't. But in time, it might be time to get extra healthy and let it happen, if nature or God decides it should.
Give it all the time you need. Share your grief and disappointment with the people who love you. If you need counseling, get it.
I'd give you a big hug if I could.
2007-07-06 10:28:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry, you obviously wanted this baby very much. They estimate that half if not more of first pregnancys end in miscarriage so never feel like you are alone. The important thing now is to look after yourself and deal with this in your own way. You can not disscount the children you may have for the one that you lost. Sometimes you have to feel dissappointed and associated emotions to truly appreciate the whole picture. Never give up. This was not your fault and in no way determines the out come of future pregnancys. Keep your chin up.
2007-07-09 18:38:59 · answer #6 · answered by Melissa S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My first pregnancy was a miscarriage. I wasn't far along enough to have to have a D and C, but the emotional pain was still there... I took it as a sign that the baby was not going to be ok, and with Gods help we moved on...
We got pregnant a month after my miscarriage and I now have a wonderful 3 year old son... I wouldn't trade him for anything... I know it hurts right now, but you can get through it.
I'm here if you need to talk =)
2007-07-06 10:26:55 · answer #7 · answered by * JuSt Me * 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry for your lost but did you know that most women have had one or two miscarriage before they can have a beautiful and healthy baby. I know you're going through a hard time right now but tell yourself that you will have another chance to have a baby and that there's always a reason for everything. So many of us want to have a child and have to wait, but once it gets here, then we love them even more.
Just take the time to grieve as some people might tell you to get over here. But time will heal you and you will soon think about trying again.
I wish you all the best. and good luck
2007-07-06 10:30:15 · answer #8 · answered by johanne 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had a friend who ad this procedure at 18wks. She was so sad. The best news came two months later when she got pregnant again and had a full-term healthy baby girl. She said tht perhaps God was not ready for her to have that third child and in that two month period she lost a relative and had to help her husband through the passing of his mother as well. It happens to many and they all find ways to move forward and live life. Sorry for your loss but there are many good things yet to be had.
2007-07-06 10:30:09 · answer #9 · answered by MJ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry for your loss. My sister-in-law and close friend both lost a baby and it was a very painful experience for everyone. I know that it is hard now, but allow yourself time to grieve. My friend thought the same thing, that she wouldn't be able to try again because of how hard the situation. But she did and is now the proud mom of a beautiful 10 month old baby boy and can't wait to have another. Give yourself time and you will decide what is best. God bless :)
2007-07-06 10:31:04 · answer #10 · answered by NoTurningBackNow 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋