I'm suspecting my mom of cheating on my dad. What do I do?

Question

I found a conversation my mother had with someone. It was very.. Interesting to read. I don't want my mom and dad to get divorced. And I love both of my parents and I don't really know what to do. Someone, PLEASE help me!

Answer 1

You need to have a talk with your mom. Tell her what you found, try to be understanding and listen without getting upset, if you are going to have an adult conversation with her you need to act and react like and adult. If it is too much for you handle, then you need to write her a letter. Good Luck!

Answer 2

Scary huh? Well, first of all remember that you don't have much control over what others do. They might end up getting divorced because they want to. It might be even scarier if someone found out that you got involved.

If you want to risk it, I suppose you could find a way to inform your dad without coming right out with it in case you're wrong. At the same time, you could drop hints about how much you hope your mom and dad are happy because you'd really hate to see anything happen to your family like it has with a school friend or teacher or character in the media. Also, maybe you could talk to a counselor about it if this doesn't work. Best wishes.

Answer 3

Have a talk with your mom. as a friend, not a daughter. But don't jump to conclusions. just start out by saying you found the letter. , then tell her what you read out of it. but be nice, dont get all in her face, you'll only be pushing her away. be a friend. listen to what she says, and be a friend. If you disagree 100% with her, still show her respect, she likely will disagree 100% with you. The best thing you can do is get her thinking about what she is doing. that may be all it takes. But keep a eye on her and make sure she knows you love her just as you love your dad, and you'd never sit back and let him hurt her, and likewise you will not let her hurt him.

Answer 4

This is not your fault--or your business. Sometimes the lives of adults get messy in ways that are theirs to work through. Let them do it in their own good time, secure in the knowledge that you're their child and they each love you, whether their marriage is good, bad, or even over.

Remember, too, that a person who cheats is a person who is not getting their most basic needs met from their relationship. It happens, and sometimes it's a wake-up call for the other parent to be a better spouse.

Adults can forgive some pretty awful stuff. Some do, and move forward, their marriage stronger than before.

Answer 5

I am sorry you had to find out that way. It's so terrible when people get involved with other people before they have finalized past relationships... This just causes even more pain for the kids.

I'm sorry to tell you that the issue is between your parents and they have to work it out. I know you love them both but even if it ends in divorce don't take sides. Relationships are 2 way. Both are to blame... They will love you whether they are together or not.

Answer 6

You should talk to your mom and let her know how you feel but at the same time the next time you find something that belongs to your mom you need to give it to her and not read it because it doesn't concern you. I know you don't want them to get a divorce and all but you have to see it from their point of view so talk to your parents but don't tell your dad anything it is not your place.

Answer 7

Confront your mom about it. See what her answer is. If she tries to avoid it, THEN you can suspect something. If you do not want your parents to get a divorce, ask your mom if that is a possibility. Don't tell your dad, unless you feel you REALLY have to.

Answer 8

First of all, Mom is a big girl and if she wanted you to do something she would have confided in you. Her privacy is as important to her as yours is to you. Give her the same respect you would expect if the shoe were on the other foot. Meddling in her business is none of yours and will only create something else to deal with. You will not be the driving force to heroism and there is probably tons of facts that you are not privileged to. The worst thing you can do is not to mind your own business. If your entire life is squeaky clean and you have nothing else to do in life maybe offer your ear to listen, anything else would be considered none of your business. It is not your fight or problem so do not help solve it. You will get in the way. Find something else to occupy your mind progressive like planning your goals and working towards them. Stay out of things that are not yours to deal with.

Answer 9

They've been adults longer than you've even been alive. You really do need to leave it up to them. You shouldn't take on the responsibility of trying to fix their problems...it's not your fault if they have problems.

You are not your parents' confidante, therapist, advisor, counselor, pastor, or even friend. You are your parents' child. Much as you might like to fit into other roles, you really should let them handle whatever is going on in their relationship, because you don't need to try to take on a totally inappropriate responsibility.

That said, I'm sorry you have doubts about your parents' relationship and I hope they can work things out if indeed they do have problems. But THEY need to work them out.

Answer 10

It happened to me before, except it was my dad cheating. Just tell your mom that you know what's going on, but please stop doing what she's doing because you love both her and your dad and that you don't want to lose either of them.

It will be a "wake up alarm" for your mom, and hopefully she gets the message. It worked for me, hope it works for you as well.