Im 18 years old in a relationship with a 39 years old man , i really love him and i know he loves me too , at the beginning i was really excited to be with him it was something new for me, like he wasnt spoilt or immature like younger guys , we didnt have sex for a year , we just talked and got to know each other and i really loved him during this time , after a year when i actually slept with him i didnt like it , he can take care of me but still i think Im kinda on fire and need more care ( especially as he grows up) , i donno what to do he asked me to get married to him im really afraid of having a bad sex life , do you think he is not going to be able to take care of me in bed as he grows older?
2007-07-06 09:55:47 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
YOUR POTENTIAL SEXUAL PROBLEMS SHOULD HARDLY BETHE ISSUE-- you have more than this to consider.... there are huge developmental milestones that you've not crossed that will surface once you marry. Children... where to live.... retiremnet issues he will face 20 years before you do... aging 2 decades before you do...etc.
And, what is a nearly 40 year old guy doing with someone your age. This may speak to his maturity and emotional level and depth. Guys who look for much, much younger women typically aren't capable of managing someone their age, so they keep moving down the maturity ladder until they meet someone they match-- this should be a huge RED FLAG to you.
BY THE WAY, ONE HARSH REALITY THAT IS MISSED ON Y!ANSWERS IS THAT "LOVE"WILL NOT SOLVE THESE ISSUES... IN FACT IT'S THIS APPARENT "LOVE"YOU HAVE THAT WILL BLIND YOU TO THE ISSUES AND RESULT (PROBABLY) IN A DVORCE SHOULD YOU MARRY HIM.
Finally, you may need to also mature yourself prior to making such a significant life decision.... the odds of divorce are extremely high here!
2007-07-06 09:59:56 · answer #1 · answered by Wisdom??? 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
They say that a man's sex drive can increase a lot more as he ages.. But being good or bad in bed sounds like a slightly different matter.
If you want, you can try and see if you can teach him.. Show him how you want it.. tell him where to touch you, and let him know when he hits the right spots.
Some men and women can handle having a bad sex life with someone they really care for and love. Some can't. See..now you have to decide which kind of person you are. Once you know.,, and once you've properly weighed things.. It should give you an idea of what you can take..and what you can't. Of course, you can still try and do something about it. After trying (and only your feelings can tell you how long you're willing to put up with this) then you can tell yourself maybe it's enough (should there be no improvement) already.. Not all men are the same, okay? Some can get better, some can ge worse.. and some can just stay the same in that aspect. Ball's in your court.
2007-07-06 10:18:03 · answer #2 · answered by Rogee 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's infatuation. You've never been with a guy that treats you like a woman. The younger guys don't have the maturity as you say but they also don't have the finances either to do the types of things an older man will do with you. Dinner, theatre travel etc.
I would re-think this...because in time the inatuation will wear off and you might just find yourself laying next to a wrinkled old man. Likely he can financially take care of you when he's older, But the real issue, is it worth it ?
Last thing you want to do is resent being with him... if you were 30+ and he was 21 yrs older the chances would be better for success.
It's not always the age difference, it's the actual ages that determine success or failure. And frankly...you are very young and naive.
2007-07-06 10:06:44 · answer #3 · answered by westfield47130 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
IJ do not care how 'mature' this girl looks or acts, this guy has a problem if he can't find women his OWN age to date! This is wrong on sooo many levels. This is also, by the way, ILLEGAL...! This guy has some kind of issues if he wants to date a teenager while in his 20's. YES!. It is WRONG ! Age difference aside... the legality of the relationship is an issue. IF he is truly serious about wanting to have a relationship with her, give it another 2+ years til she's 18, at least. At 15, this girl is still a child and should be treated as such. I don't care if her make up and clothes make her look older, she is still a C-h-i-l-d and he needs to wise up or possibly end up facing charges. WHERE are her parents?!
2016-05-20 00:27:40 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not get married, because you have not had enough experience in love, life and men.
The age difference is not working for you either, since at this point, you have to try to at least date people from the same decade. If you were in your, say, thirties, possibly late twenties, you were able to know more about what type of person you want to be with.
If you chose a man that can take care of you financially, then you are selling yourself short. How about going to college and trying to gain an education and a broader sense of accomplishment, self esteem and independence?
2007-07-06 10:07:38 · answer #5 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As for most guys the older you get everything starts to get weaker, but not all guys. I'm 35 and instead of getting worst in bed, its my wife that can't handle me. I wish you the best of luck, but I would say don't get married if the sex is not good. You need to be completely satisfied with the person you will spend the rest of your life with. Sex is very important in any relationship.
Good Luck Young Lady :)
2007-07-06 10:08:53 · answer #6 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you are way too young to make a decision like that. You need to date people closer to your own age before you settle down, I assume this guy was one of the first men you had a relationship with, and I think you will start to resent him as time goes on. Tell him you need some space to find out who you are as an adult before you agree to such a thing.
2007-07-06 10:02:01 · answer #7 · answered by Mrs. E 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If all you're worried about is how good or bad the sex is then it's you who needs to grow up, not him. A relationship based on sex cannot and will not last.
Take a cold shower and let him go. You need to focus on an education, not sex.
2007-07-06 10:00:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
He's old enough to be your father. And you should also remember that by the time you hit your sexual peak (which is 32) he will be 53. He'll tire more easily. He just won't be able to keep up with you. If you think the sex is bad now, just wait, it will get worse. Besides, you are so young. What is the rush to get married?
2007-07-06 10:03:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
He cant take care of you now in bed , what makes you think he will in the future. that aside, he will never know how to please you unless you tell him what you like. Don't be rude, cause that could be a turn off for him, but just tell him to " try it like this", and if he does something right, react to it, if he knows it makes you happy he will more than likely want to try new things you suggest. If you still don't like sex with him, maybe you are more uncomfortable with the age difference than you thought.
2007-07-06 10:06:02 · answer #10 · answered by aud61717 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋