Do you believe in marrige?

Question

Is there still a point to marrige in today's society, with the current rate of divorce as it is in comparison to previous generations.

Is the whole white wedding, walking down the ailse a big waste of time and money? Or should people still hold out for the dream of marrying their soulmate...

Answer 1

I believe in it.

I think my mom is usually full of crap, but one thing she said stuck in my head. She viciously divorced her first husband, treated him like dirt. She hasn't fought as often with her second husband, but she has said that all people are imperfect, that you will deal with imperfections no matter who you marry, so you might as well stick with the first...

I used to wonder what the catch is. I used to wonder why ANYONE gets married, because that brings to an end the ability to get to know different people. I used to think that it would be more fun to be with a different girl each time, but eventually I met a girl that I wouldn't have minded "keeping." There comes along that one person that you don't want to part with, and a condition of loyalty is definitely worth it.

Answer 2

Sure, I believe marriage exists. :)

However, is there a point to it?

Well, if you listen to the religious, yup, they'll tell you God wants you to get married, that's the way it should be, etc, etc.

But back to the real world...

You make the good point that divorce rates are higher than they used to be - but is that because people are less willing to put up with a nasty spouse than they used to be? I can think of several elderly couples who clearly don't get on any more, but they "value" their marriage or fear loneliness, so they won't divorce...huh? Don't they value their happiness?

Here is my solution. Abolish state marriage. If people want to get married in a religious context, fine, but don't bother the rest of us with this mumbo-jumbo.

Firstly, if a couple live together and have no children, and then decide to split up, the belongings and share of the house belong to whoever paid for them. Why should it be any other way? It would stop people entering into a relationship for financial gain, at least on a long-term basis.

Secondly, children. If a couple have a child together, natural or adopted, both parents are equally responsible for the child, financially and time-wise until the child is 18. Rape aside, there is no excuse for not knowing the father of the child in this day and age of DNA testing. If the parents choose to split up, one parent should effectively "pay" the other parent who looks after the child, or split the cost and time between them.

Thirdly, there is the problem with inheritance. Clearly, you can make a will stating who you wish your money to go when you die. Currently, if you are married, your spouse receives everything automatically. Why couldn't you just make a will stating this specifically? Not hard. Inheritance tax is a load of bananas anyway and clearly needs to be sorted out more fairly.

Lastly, for all these schemes that need you to prove that you're in a committed relationship, e.g. insurance or health, why do you need them extended to anyone but your children, or to the mother/father of your children? If you want to include them, surely being the other parent of your child is proof enough?

Marriage discriminates against homosexual couples and people in non-monogamous relationships (whatever floats your boat), and I personally think many people use marriage as an excuse to treat their partner in a less than perfect manner. If it were easier to annul the relationship, maybe this wouldn't be the case, and there would be happier, longer-term relationships.

On your second point, the big white wedding? Complete waste of money. It's so tacky and commercialised.

And your third question...hold out for the dream of marrying a soulmate? Eh, come on, soulmate? You expect to find your soulmate within the billions of people on this Earth? They don't exist - there are probably millions of people you could be very happy with given the correct circumstances. And if you did find them, why should you have to sign a piece of paper to make it "official"?

Now, watch all the thumbs down I get :) Clearly, this isn't going to be a popular view.

Answer 3

Yes, I do believe in marriage. I believe there are two parts - the civil/legal and the religious/spiritual - to marriage.

In many (but not all) jurisdictions you can accomplish the first part by: (a) a civil ceremony, (b) a written contract or (c) living together for a certain period of time.

The religious/spiritual aspect is more significant to many people (myself included). A wedding does not need to be very expensive. The *marriage* not the *wedding* is what is important.

Yes, many countries have a high divorce rate. However, not everyone gets divorced. There are certain populations which have very low divorce rates.

The concept of a "soul mate" is a completely different issue. It can trivialise the effort that is required in order for a marriage to work.

Answer 4

yes there is still a point to marriage,it,s two people vowing to each other,that they will never love another,the white wedding is to show all ,the love that you both share,you want the whole world to know,walking down the aisle should give a sense of security and well being with each other,it should,nt be a money issue,only if you make it that way.you could walk down the aisle in rags and love each other just as much.i would,nt say it was a case of holding out for your soul mate,there are the two right people out there for each other,it,s only a case of meeting them when it,s meant to be,if it does,nt happen, then it,s not meant to be,there are a lot more things in life other than boy meeting girl,it,s a case of fashion for some people,my friends getting married,why can,t that be for me,it,s obviously not time to yet.marriage will always be something to be held sacred,society can make you question it,you feel it ,not just do it.

Answer 5

Yeah I know what you mean but marriage does still mean a great deal to some people as a research study showed that generally couples last stay together longer than other couples who haven't got married.

It's just in today's society there are so many other people out there and loads of ways of getting access to them. Like a another survey pointed out that most men who advertise themselves in the singles column are actually married but just looking for fun else where!

Answer 6

Yes I do believe in marriage. You love someone to a point where you want to spend your whole life with each other, where you know you wouldn't want to be with anyone else... Many (not all) divorces take place because of lack of communication and lack of maturity.

Marriage is a great thing, definitely not easy. Make sure you get to know each others values, priorities and attitudes well enough so that when the time comes you'll feel comfortable making a decision.

Answer 7

Honestly there never has been a point as you describe. The only point i see, or have ever seen is when two people love each other enough to say " that's it I'm done i only need you for ever" if its not for that reason and that reason alone, then no. no reason for it at all. Way too many people these days feel the have to get married and have 2.3 kids live in the burbs.. yada yada yada.... you know what I say screw that.. lets start acting like we live in America and do what America is based on freedom. to do what we want... don't let society dictate right and wrong. do whats in your heart. and if that includes marriage great if not.. so be it... i know i am not going to judge you. i been married 17 years no kids, don't want um.... somehow that makes me and the wife weird? I like to think not..

Answer 8

The problem with marriage is that it is a contractual agreement, with a performance clause. For me, that takes the love slap out of it. Of course, the religious right wants us to believe that some god has something to do with it. I would doubt this if history has any meaning. People who live together have the same relationship once they adjust as married people do. I've done both and much prefer the not married life.

Answer 9

marriage is a wonderful thing with the right person but a nightmare with the wrong person.
the whole white wedding spending thousands for a wedding thing is a bad way to start a marriage. as far as i am concerned any wedding that cost more than 500 bucks is doomed to fail, so you and the man go to the court sign papers and catch a limo to the hotel wine dine and have hot sex, all by yourself. price tab >>>>$500.

Answer 10

Definitely yes. My wife and I were church married as were all our three children. All these marriages have proved to be solid partnerships with close family relationships.Marriage is a commitment which should be honoured for life.So many people take the easy way out and do not strive to resolve any differences.