Click on my profile and read the questions I asked and let me know if I am being unreasonable in wanting to leave my husband. He has begged me to give him another month to prove that he respects me and loves me,but I don't know if anything would change in a month. Would you try???
2007-07-06 09:34:17 · 26 answers · asked by confused one 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yep, just did and let me tell you from experience...HE WILL NOT CHANGE....GET OUT NOW....B-4 IT IS TOO LATE...hopefully u do not have children but if you do all the more reason to leave...do you want your kids to think this is the way a woman should be treated?
They mimic their parents....hopefully kids aren't in the pic yet...
2007-07-14 04:57:07 · answer #1 · answered by Angel girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this is very hard for you I am married and I know how hard it can be to decide to stay or leave. Its supposed to be for better or worse but sometimes when all you get is worse the signs are there something has to change. Maybe you might want to try marriage counseling before you get out totally, although it sounds like you have one foot out the door already and are afraid to put the other foot through that door. If its that hard seek some help a pastor, counselor. Don't stay miserable whatever you choose to do.
2007-07-14 13:26:24 · answer #2 · answered by blackpearl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The love and respect needed to be there up front and all along; not just when he realized you were ready to leave. How many people do you know who really change, fundamentally, in a month? Be sure of what you want (need), and remember that after what you've been through you have a right to act in your own best interest.
2007-07-06 17:00:57 · answer #3 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I read your previous questions and you are in a tough spot. Your husband is selfish and rude and it appears that he also has a pretty brutal drinking problem. Not very attractive.
I think you have nothing to lose by giving him the month - worst case scenario, he is as rude and disrespectful to you as you have experienced this past while. Best case, he gets his s*** together and remembers that it is important for you to feel loved and appreciated.
A word of advice: stick to the month. If you have seen no change after a month, leave him as you have said you will do. If you don't, you will have no credibility with him and the lesson he will learn is that you will not stick up for yourself so he is free to treat you as disinterestedly as he wants.
Take care.
2007-07-11 22:05:10 · answer #4 · answered by banana6464 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont have to read it to say this- if u arent happy get out!!! Most guys are gonna say whatever it takes to get you to stay, and then it will be the same old crap. Its all about manupilation and control. Trust me, I just divorced after nearly 7 years of an on again, off again marriage where just when i had enough, he was at the door, begging to make it work. and i fell for it, it was good for a couple of weeks, then it was right back to his old ways. This went on for a looong time before I realized that I deserved so much more. Now that i finally got out, i am looking back and asking myself what took so long!! Dont waste your precious time being unhappy when you could be out there finding some one who loves and respects you, girl!
2007-07-06 16:56:56 · answer #5 · answered by GiGi! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not as easy as you think to just get up and leave your husband after 23 years of marriage i know because at one point in my marriage i thought i could leave my husband to. My husband broke the golden rule and i still couldn't leave him .As hard as it's been for me i know i made the right choice in staying. Yes you have put up with a lot of his s h i t but who hasn't in a marriage.You must love this man a lot and he knows this and is taking advantage of it. If i were you i would give him a (Get Out Of Jail Card) to use as he sees fit.Tell him this is his last chance to make it right by you. And about the porn I totally agree with you on that. Just remember one thing he is a man after all and i know that doesn't excuse his behavior but what it should do is open your eyes and see the real man you married not the man you would like him to become.
2007-07-06 21:15:26 · answer #6 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly It sounds like you two have been thorough alot, and obvioulsy something makes you stay with him. Whenever he does or says or watches things that hurt you, obviously let him know that it bugs you and hurts you and continue going to counseling. When you have addictions to ANYTHING they don't go away over night. Continue to encourage your husband! Let him know you love him and are thankful that he is even willing to try and change for you because alot of men wouldn't give two S***ts about changing. Let him know that you are there for him and will support him in his struggle. But when he messes up also express your self to that one specific situation. Don't bring up everything from the past, when you are fighting, becasue that is not fair to him, if you already forgave him you can't bring it up when you are fighting. Believe me I know this can be hard but it's better for the relationship to wait for a time to talk about those old issuse when you aren't arguing. And give the man longer than one month to prove himself to you. Because I'm sure it will take longer than that. Your husband is a gift to you, try not to Dwell and wait on things to change try and refocus on being happy and content with all the positve things in your guys have and share in your lives!! Good luck your on my mind!
2007-07-06 17:37:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he doesn't want you to leave, so the ball's in your court. Given what you've written, I would suggest that you make staying with him conditional. The condition would be that you would go through counselling until YOU were satisfied that enough accomplishments were made. That all presupposes that you still love him and he still loves you. If you think that you two still have something to work for then, work for it. But you've got to lay down the law with him and get him seriously working at his part of the marriage.
If he won't do that, then you don't have any life with him.
2007-07-06 16:44:23 · answer #8 · answered by William D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage takes two to make it work. as long as there is no abuse in anyway going on i would give him the one more month but u need to make sure u have plans to leave him after one month. start laying around hints that u are looking for apartments and jobs and start packing up non essential things so that he knows u are serious. if things don't change then u can leave him but give it one more try and make it work for both your sakes...
2007-07-12 14:38:01 · answer #9 · answered by THE UK WILDCAT FAMILY 10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone deserve another chance to prove them selves worthy to be with us as women. Your husband just realize that you are unhappy and you are tired of his insensitive way towards you. Men always has the mentality "that she will always be there no matter what". As women we are proofing them wrong everyday. Just give him this last chance, if he doesn't get it together in the month he asked for leave him.
2007-07-06 16:47:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋