Everyday he seems to be upset or bothered about something but if I ask him about it he just gets more bothered and tells me that it's me causing him to be like this. He doesn't work, he takes care of our home and our pets so I am wondering if it is just because he is home all the time and doesn't have anything to occupy his time. I just can't explain it. It's hard enough being in a gay relationship these days anyway and now with him always seeming like I've done something it makes it worse and worse for me. I work 4 10hr work days a week and I don't get home until 830pm each night. He tells me that I should stay up with him until 2 or 3 am on work nights which I just can't do that all the time, which to him means that I don't care about him. Can someone please help me understand or give me some advice as to what to do??
2007-07-06 08:15:58 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I agree with Goldwing. I'm a HouseOtter and my Best Beloved drives Big Truck for a living. I would NEVER expect her to pander to my wishes. she's tired when she comes off the road and it's she who gets the pampering.
YOU"RE the one working, my Dear, not him. Granted, taking care of a house can be tiring at times but if you're making the only money he has no right to ask you to stay up to hours that would jeopardizes your living. what he's doing is tendering right on abuse.
Your boyfriend needs one of several things : 1) a serious attitude adjustment; 2) some depression medication; 3) a job or some volunteer work -- or perhaps all three.
I don't know how long you two have been together, but if its a long term relationship, you two will want to work it out. He needs to get some help. Get his butt down to the local library and have him volunteer as a docent to read to children for a few hours or go over to the VA Hospital to visit the veterans and assist them. If he;'s out of the house for 4-6 hours a day he won't be so whiny.
You don't need the help, Dearest. He does. Try to get him to work for it.
2007-07-06 08:32:17 · answer #1 · answered by Mama Otter 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have only given one side of the equation, it takes two. When you come home for work at 8:30, do you just go straight to bed, do you spend time with him? Also, you work 4 out of 7 days, are you with your boyfriend the other three days? I notice people say he should get a job but if he were staying home with children would they day the same?His being home while you work is not the issue if you two have worked it out that way. However, the fact that you mentioned that he doesn't work seems that you may have a problem with it. You two really need to sit down and discuss this. Yahoo Answers is not the forum to work out your relationship becomes it becomes a he said/he said thing. Talk to him on your day off.
2007-07-14 06:45:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really don't believe breaking up over this is the best solution to the problem. It sounds like he is not happy at all at the moment. Yes, it is probably because he is home all day and you are at work all day. I would say that the next time you have a day off or something go on a mini vacation and get away from both of your daily routines. You two should talk it out and try to understand each other. I think that, if you two really love each other you will sort it out. Talk about how you feel, and be calm. Good luck, I think you two will sort it out.
2007-07-06 09:16:09 · answer #3 · answered by Wonderer89 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is time to reassess your life with this guy. He is selfish beyond belief, doesn't appreciate anything you do, and .... doesn't have a job ???? You need to get a dose of self respect and set about some changes..either in his lifestyle, or yours...If I were you, I would look inward. What the hell are you really getting out of this relationship except a very uncomfortable home to be in? Yep, time to put the cards on the table. This guy is using you and isn't even nice about it. If he thinks he is at home alone too much, he is dead on right! He can bring in some money just like you do...let's see if he still wants to sit up until 2-3AM...this is just short of ludicrous.
2007-07-06 08:22:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe the poor guy needs to get laid. On your weekend, take him to the bedroom, and shag him silly, then shag him again. Rock his world, and yours.
Maybe he should be encouraged to find an outside hobby, I did volunteer work for political candidates when I had a boyfriend. Now, I'm just recovering from meningitis and strokes, looking for a boyfriend.
2007-07-14 08:02:20 · answer #5 · answered by for Da Ben Dan--Dennyhill 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
somebody needs a reality check
he is not doing much to be an equal partner in this relationship.
he doesn't communicate
he is bored-- and should be.
how long does it take to clean the house??
it is seriously time to sit down and talk about needs, expectations, responsibilities, etc.
2007-07-13 10:09:59 · answer #6 · answered by reme_1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is lonely with you doing a 10 hour workday. Being home alone is driving him crazy. He expects you to understand and be overly sympathetic.
Why can't he go out and get a job?
Be careful - his eyes (and everything else) might start straying.
2007-07-06 08:21:50 · answer #7 · answered by nycguy10002 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you 2 obviousley arent made for each other. a person who truely loves you doesnt blame everything on you and any couple would atleast pitch in and help a little does he give any money for the rent? does any wok around the house?
you cant do all of this yourslef if i were you i would dump him but theres another solution....... ask him whats the matter wat is bothering him maybe its your love life dont be afriad to ask him these questions a couple should share their problems and cherish the good times
2007-07-06 08:22:14 · answer #8 · answered by ? 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Maybe he is experiencing depression. Could you get him to go to a medical doctor or a therapist? Sounds like he is pretty emotionally dependent on you..Encourage him to go out with friends or get a volunteer job. Good luck.
2007-07-06 08:20:43 · answer #9 · answered by zsmom 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Boyfriend needs to get a life. And a job. People who don't get out much seem to get pretty grumpy.
2007-07-13 18:17:39 · answer #10 · answered by Nekkid Lady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋