My x received custody because his wife's sister has brainwashed my daughter not to want to be with me. She convinced my daughter that she would be the perfect Mother for her and because she is always and my x's house she constantly gives her everything so she will want to be with her. She has convinced my daughter that we do not love her and now my daughter worships her. My x is never there so the sister in law rules the house. How do I get her away from my daughter. How do I keep her from turning my daughter against me. My daughter say's she is her hero because she keeps all her secrets..What can I do??????
2007-07-06 08:05:42 · 10 answers · asked by Sad Mother 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
That is devastating. All I can say is talk to your ex and let her
know that your daughter means so much to you. This too frequently happens, I hear.
2007-07-06 08:09:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
When you say he received custody - was it in court?
I suggest you call a lawyer and set the record straight.
This is your daughter you're talking about, you love her so much from the way you're writing about her - and her aunt is not her mother.
Please fight for her.
Be confident that your daughter loves you - we don't know how old she is, but she goes through stages in life when she likes someone better than others one month, and the next it's someone else.
Be there for her, always, and she'll come back to you, don't doubt that.
Also as difficult as it is, be on your daughter's side. If she sees that you (supposedly) don't care about the bond with her aunt, she's less likely to make a big deal out of it herself.
Finally, I'm ready to bet that this sister-in-law is manipulative, and authoritary. Again, the wheel will turn, and before you know, your daughter will be back with you. On way or the other.
2007-07-06 08:22:10 · answer #2 · answered by yogi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One day hopefully, your daughter will realize that a mother's love is more precious than "things". You might want to take this matter to a lawyer and see if you have a reason to take it to court. I know that my sister and her ex had a written agreement, that neither would say bad things about the other in the presents of the children. Of course, my ex brother-in-law and his new wife (he's been through 2 since my sister)would bash my sister any time they got the chance(the kids would come home after a weekend and spill the beans). She had custody of the children, but she could have taken him back to court, because he was talking "trash" to the kids.
2007-07-06 08:21:43 · answer #3 · answered by janice 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's pretty sad. I think your daughter just likes her b/c she gives your daughter what ever she wants & lets her do what ever she wants. One day, things will blow over & become a mess b/c that's not how your suppose to raise kids. I'm very sure your daughter loves you, you are her mother, always will be, while a step mom is trying to gain power over her & doing it the wrong way, a day will come when the step mom will not want to give her what ever she desires anymore. There are consequences to every thing. I would suggest you just let it slide, but you should always make time to spend with your daughter, teach her that getting her way constantly is not the right thing.
2007-07-06 08:14:22 · answer #4 · answered by sugarBear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speak to a lawyer about this and ask if there is anyway that your daughter can be put into therapy. Brainwashing, as far as I know, is manipulative and could be seen as abuse. However, when your daughter is with you show her that you love her by being a good mom and I think eventually your daughter will make up her own mind.
2007-07-06 09:34:55 · answer #5 · answered by Kristy s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My brother in-law is going thru this same thing. He has been to 5 different therapists that keep telling him all you can do is keep telling your child that you love them and you want to see them. He cheated on his wife and she has shared everything with the kids about what happened and is still happening. I would not talk bad about your sister in-law to your daughter since they have grown so close. I do not know if you and your wife can talk or how it all ended but the reason my ex sister in-law does what she does is to make him feel the hurt she has felt.
2007-07-06 08:19:31 · answer #6 · answered by s f 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
About the only thing that you can do is let it be. Sooner or later your daughter will grow up (you don't mention her age) and realize just what it is that she is missing from you. You will then recieve a phone call from a nervous youngster needing your input on something. Don't dissapoint her when this happens. Things will get better.
2007-07-06 08:19:17 · answer #7 · answered by pappysgotitgoinon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sadly...I am not sure how to help. Just keep being with your daughter...tell her that you love her and miss her and that you always will be her mother. My husband's ex tries to do that with his girls...it doesn't work but it is so hard. We have been to court several times in regard to that. Sorry.
2007-07-06 08:13:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hurt for you...I'd die without my girl. Sure wish I had some words of wisdom for you.
Are you allow visitation? If not, can you appeal and have the courts grant you visitation? What the courts say goes, if they don't abide they will be considered contempt of court.
2007-07-06 08:14:52 · answer #9 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's YOUR daughter.... enough said
you know what you have to do!
2007-07-06 08:16:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋