My husband and I argue a lot but not excessively. It doesn't bother me enough that I think we should see a counselor, but what can we do to sort out our differences when we fight? We fight about random things.
2007-07-06 07:14:58 · 14 answers · asked by O->--< 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Are they random, small, dumb things?? If so you're going to have to pick and choose your fights. Sometimes you just have to take a breath and say, 'you're right', even if you dont mean it. I used to pick fights with my boyfriend every day over nothing! I was moody and depressed so I really couldn't help it. Are there other issues in your relationship? Do you guys fight, trying to get the other's attention? If you know they're pointless fights, just try to let things go. If its something you really belive in, try just talking. If one or the other starts to raise their voice, take a break to breath and just try to stay calm. Nothing gets solved with both of you are yelling. I heard this from a friend: "When it comes down to it: Do you want to be HAPPY, or do you want to be RIGHT?" Good luck and i hope everything works out!
2007-07-06 07:25:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is just part of marriage and being an individual. You're going to have your differences. That's normal. If either of you are getting offenisve with the other like throwing insults at them or worse yet, hitting each other, then you have a problem. But just arguing over something you disagree on is normal. It's not the best part of marriage, but it is part of it none the less. If you are arguing everyday about something, then maybe some counselling wouldn't be a bad idea. The best thing to do is to agree that you both have your own opinions about things and maybe one can concede the first time and then the other next time. Marriage is 50/50, but sometimes there are people that want more out of than thier 50%. If that's your problem, then yes, I'd see a conselor. Otherwise, arguing is just part of the package. Just don't be abusive.
2007-07-06 14:22:34 · answer #2 · answered by Paul 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to figure out what exactly the problem is when you fight? With my husband and I it's the way we communicate with each other. We have different styles of communicating and sometimes we are saying the same thing but in different ways. slow conversations down and make sure you really heat what the other person is saying.
2007-07-06 14:28:36 · answer #3 · answered by Sara M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes it's easier to bite your tongue and let the argument die. My wife and I used to also fight about petty things, and really, it wasn't worth the time. I took the initiative to stop the argument, and in time it became easier to not fight back. That helped some because I wasn't starting arguments about the nonsense. She still would, so to end that, any time she started in on me about something trivial I'd look her in the eyes and say, "I love you, you know that right?"
That pretty much diffused any minor arguments. People have to learn that a relationship is between 2 very different people, and the significant other isn't always going to live up to one's expectations. That's something we all have to live with.
I don't recommend the "I love you" bit in a major fight. Wow, that can get you into trouble. :-)
2007-07-06 14:19:56 · answer #4 · answered by Armless Joe, Bipedal Foe 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"A lot but not excessively" and "random things" points to one or two major underlying things you both have that p*ss you off and the other things are probably petty things that are thrown in just to add fuel to the fire. Throw aside the petty and work on the main stuff.
You both have different opinions? That's fine. You don't need to understand his point of view on everything, and vice versa. It seems to me that too much time is spent getting people to agree with us on everything.
Basically, choose your biggest battles and let the small stuff slide.
2007-07-06 14:36:30 · answer #5 · answered by kadisciples 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it takes 2 people to fight. dont let the little things get to u. if u feel anger or whatever take a deep breath and walk away. go outside get some fresh air or something. i mean yeah every relationship has their fights theres nothing u can do about em, but with th elittle smal lstupid ones its easier just to walk away and forget about em.
2007-07-06 14:21:01 · answer #6 · answered by ..::..Lovin him..::.. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He who angers you, has conquered you*... Some people know how to push your buttons*.. When they do you can learn to manage your emotions so as not for it to escalate into World War 3*... When you are prepared mentally and emotionally in advance you can diffuse the situation by maintaining and managing your own reactions to it*... This entails training and planing in advance by you both mentally and emotionally before and when it occurs*...Through doing this on your part you can disagree without being disagreeable*... One person has to know how to react to keep the balance from ending in hostility and resentmemt*
2007-07-06 15:06:51 · answer #7 · answered by dca2003311@yahoo.com 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Next time you feel like arguing--- don't. You need to be the hero of the relationship and let him get his way. Who cares who is wrong or right. It'll be forgotten within the hour.
2007-07-06 14:19:26 · answer #8 · answered by Lucci 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let it go. It doesn't matter who win or lose in the relationship, I usually go to the bedroom and pretend I am sleeping if I have enough. I am tired of arguing, as long as he doesn't curse and hurt me I let him talk. Sometimes to shut him off. I told him, " you know you can not swallow me either".
2007-07-06 14:54:33 · answer #9 · answered by db 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is only natural in any relationship, this is a stronghold; embrace the love don't worry about the little things
2007-07-06 14:19:13 · answer #10 · answered by lifescircle 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋