My husband lost a very good paying job with benefits?

Question

And we have been married four years in the start of the marriage when things got bad he would leave run home to his parents and then come back.
I am worried he will run agin now but not as worried as i used to be. Things are about to get very tight because we have a large house payment. And five children to support. he has a job but not as good as the old one. two children are his from another marriage.
But for some reason I dont feel as worried as i usually do. i of course dont want him to leave but we recently lost a baby together and i just dont think he was that hurt.
Could it be i trust him more or im secertly upset with his actions over the baby. He made the comment the other day he will have to work two jobs if i want another child. i have been searching for a job to help him.
with that comment i am starting feel like i dont need to worry if he leaves. does it sound like i trust him or angry with him for his baby comment?

In the past i would start to worry he would leave now after the way he has acted about losing the baby i feel like i am sercertly bitter. is this normal? i am looking for a job but not breaking my neck like i would in the past. what is wrong with me? am i still in severe grief or do i trust him more

Oh my goodness to the person who said it is Gods will? So God puts a baby in my womb just to kill it? we do not have 5 kids in our house hold. i have two from another marriage and we have one together. and he has almost two grown. we lost a baby also. as far as living in proverty he had a very good job you would say we live in a middle class neighborhood with a new house. you dont probally have children and dont want them . we have one together and wanted to have one more to complete our family. and a angel in heaven. you are so wrong to say it is Gods will. the baby died because i had a blood problem and it wasnt Gods will my other three be born? i hated your answer

Answer 1

Have you two actually sat down and discussed the baby and his feelings and actions? People deal with death differently. MAybe he is coping with it in his own way. Talk to him.

Answer 2

With 5 children and him loosing a well paying job, why on earth are you planning yet another child? It almost sounds as if you are in this position because you chose to be in it. Is it that thrilling to be living in poverty?
Now on to your husband. It is very immature for him to leave you over an argument. Why not stay and find a remedy, just as he does when coming back? Tell him that the next time that he leaves you, the next letter that he sees from you will be one ordering child support. I'll bet that he stays.
Now for you. Why are you looking for ways to trust a guy that will leave you for who knows where? Forget the trust for now. Keep the guy where he belongs...With his wife and family.
As far as his comment. If he has lost a good job and is now working a less than perfect one (or less paying), did you ever consider that he might be right? I mean come on, 5 kids already? Don't you care what this guy goes through for you? If you want to have yet another child, then YOU get another job first. I am sorry for your loss, but have you ever considered that it was God's will? Maybe he knows your situation and feels as though the strain would be too much for you.
You write as though you have common sense. Now use it.

Answer 3

First of all, I'm so sorry for your loss.

It sounds like you are more upset over his reaction to that than you are worried about him leaving. He got another job right away, so he obviously is concerned with providing for his family.

Now, you need to understand that people deal with grief VERY differently, especially males and females. It is EXTREMELY common for males to suppress their grief and deal with it in private. There are several reasons for this. First, he probably wanted to be strong for you. In doing so, it may look to you like he didn't care. I guarantee you he did. Don't be so quick to assume that because he didn't openly grieve, he didn't greve at all.

As far as the comment, it sounds the stress of losing a child, a job, and having a family to provide for are taking its toll on him. I wouldn't be too angry by it, and I wouldnt' worry about him leaving.

It does sound like you guys have some things you need to talk through, though.

~~If you are still grieving so much for your child, I would suggest some counseling. If you can't afford it or if your benefits don't cover it, talk to a pastor at your church or join a bereavement group. There are many support groups for parents who have lost a child. ~~

Good luck.

Answer 4

You actually got a man to talk??? And about feelings??? Circle this day on the calender with a red marker, it is a first.

Answer 5

God can help all situations of life’s problems if you give Him your heart. And let Him be the Lord of your life. If you need help in this area you can email me at [e-mail]