is it normal, to freak a little?

Question

when you have been with someone for many years and you know they are the one, thats the person you will marry they just havent asked you yet, is it normal to freak out when you think of it. im 20 so im still young, i know i will marry my b/f but when i sit and think about him proposing and the whole walking down the isle thing i get a little scared. thats just becuase im not ready right? or is it because hes not the one. did you do that when you new the person you were dating is going to be the one?

we have been togther 3 years

yes im only 20, im in college and living on my own. i relize im young thats why i havent walked down the isle, i'm living my life and he happens to be by my side sharing it with me. i know im young, thats not part of the question. every girl thinks about her wedding day even at 5 years old playing barbies...i know hes the one. and i know we are not ready.

Answer 1

It's not uncommon, but the 'freak' part is because you're not ready and you know it. You've been with this guy since you were a kid and if you stay with only him and marry, there will likely come a time when you'll wonder what you allowed yourself to miss out on by never having been a single adult, never being independent, never dating other guys and see what else was out there so when you made your choice you knew you had the best one for you.

There is no "the one" as far as one ideal person on this earth that's your best match...there are MANY that would be equally good, for various reasons, but all you need to do is meet one and go forth with them until that relationship runs its course. You may or may not meet any other really great partners nor may you desire to do so...but they are out there. ☺

Answer 2

When deep inside of you a little voice tells you this is the one, it can be when you have been 3 years or just a month. You know when that person is the right one. Spending the rest of your life with someone may scare you. But don't let that get in the way of your future. Also there is no time when you will be completely ready for marriage. As much as you try for everthing to be perfect in your life, it will never happen.

I suggest you stop thinking about the time that you will be ready. If you bf proposes and you guys have a good relationship then do it, but don't dwell on if it's the right time. You see we have to live life to it's fullest and give us the opportunity to enjoy ever moment! So enjoy your courtship now and when the time comes you will go to become his wife!

Good luck

Answer 3

Dear, it is normal. Partly I believe because of the thought that everything will change and the choice of freedom will go away. Also being married will bring about new responsibilities and burdens that you think you are not ready to confront. You are young, you mentioned this twice, I even sensed anger on the second time. No one is saying anything about you freaking out or about the way you live your life.

Think about this, maybe because you haven’t addressed this matter with your man that you are feeling gnashes, take it easy and everything will be all right .. Good luck

Answer 4

i got married 17 years ago, i was 20 as well. So i understand that you can know at a early age. And yes feeling nervous is natural.. here's a test i was told before popping the question. Think of your boyfriends worst trait, the thing that bugs you most. now picture 5 times worse. could you live with that? if you answer yes.. then i want to be the first to congratulate you. if you say boy i don't know... then you should think hard and heavy before saying YES.
But let me tell you from experience you will have added challenges. see if you marry at say 35 you've established exactly who you are career, values, ect. you know who you are.
at 20 there will be changes, big ones. and you two HAVE to go through them together. when you marry you become one. so share everything, your feeling, your thoughts, your needs. Don't be shy or worry bout what they think, be yourself, embrace who who are and who he is... and grow together, you do that and its amazing how 17 years later you know them like they are part of your own soul.... soul mates i guess you could say.
hope that helps, and don't listen to people 20 shmony.. listen to your heart.

Answer 5

Why does he have to be the one to propose? If you want marriage, you should propose to him and not wait for his word.

Marriage is a big life change, so yes of course it's ok to freak out a little. Just like the first time you drove a car by yourself on the freeway, your first day of high school, your first day of college...you freaked out a bit on those occasions too, right?

If you've been together three years, you should know right now whether he is good husband material for you. Unless you have some specific life goal in mind that you feel you MUST complete prior to marriage, then just ask him to marry you already.

Answer 6

Just to let you know, time and age don't change it, either. When I first visited with my new friend for the weekend, I "knew" that I would end up marrying him. I went afterward to visit my mother and cried hysterically over it! I was 35 and divorced at the time and knew the man only 2 weeks. I never wanted to marry again. But I "knew" I would and he was it!

We married 1.5 years later -- and have been happily married for 20 years now! By the time we DID get married -- I was not only sure of it -- I was ready and totally happy about it.

Answer 7

Just because you've been together for years does not mean you should get married. Go to college, graduate, and live out in the real world for a while before you get married. If he really wants to be with you he will give you room to grow. I think back to my relationships at 20 and realize how much I've changed and how far I've come. Being self reliate will make you a better, stronger, more interesting person.

Answer 8

I know my bf is the one and I get excited about walking down the aisle, I am only 22 still very young but I remember my last bf and that's how I felt about him I would be scared to actually do it, turns out he wasn't the one. Maybe rethinking your relationship and dating other people to make sure he is the one is a good idea!

Answer 9

i can deff relate.........i'm getting married to my bf and it scares the heck outta me...he hasn't propose, but we've talked about it... its a ways down the road, but its quite scary, because i dont know if i can handle married life........i don't want my marrige to end up like my parents, who are getting a divorce after 18 years of marrige.(most of all if it does go down that path i don't want it to hurt my kids (if we were to have any) like it did me and my siblings. My brother who is the youngest suffered the most thru my parent's decaying marrige

Answer 10

Before I got married I felt the same jitters you did and I didn't listen to them. Since my divorce I have learned that when you find the one you will feel no doubt what's so ever. You will not think twice. Listen to your gut. It will never steer you wrong.