I am 36, divorced with no children. My boyfriend is 38 and has never been married and does not have children. We have been together for just over a year (14 months) and have lived together for about 8 months. We have discussed several times that we both would like to get married and have children. Around our 1 year anniversary I brought up the "when are we going to get married?" conversation. He said he wants to get married and is very happy and loves me very much, but it has only been a year. After a few days of thinking it over, I talked to him again and suggested we talk seriously about marriage within the next 6 months. He agreed completely with me.
He is considering taking a job out of state and asked me if I would go with him. I said of course because I am with you for the long haul. However, I worry that if we are not engaged and re-locate together, I may never get a proposal. My biological clock is ticking and I feel that I can't wait forever. What should I do?
2007-07-06 05:22:53 · 13 answers · asked by The_New_Mrs_G 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You've been providing this man with regular sex and all the other comforts of home for over a year. Now you're willing to move out of state with him, without the benefit of marriage. So, why should he marry you? Your biological clock may be ticking, but your brain is not. If the man doesn't propose to you, how can you get engaged? And why are you worried about an engagement ring, at this point? You're living with the man. He needs to marry you, not string you along for another year or two.
It's doubtful that he'll propose at all. He's got the best of two worlds--a woman to sleep with at home and his freedom. You'd better wake up, girlfriend. Guys like yours will keep a woman hanging on for years, until he finds somebody better. Then, before you realize it, you're out of the game. Wake up.
2007-07-06 06:17:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, let me get this straight. You are 21, have dated 77 people, had sex with 7 and have been engaged 3 times. You have been with this guy for 2 months and a week. And according to you, you have "lived for years just accepting the fact that you would probably never get married". How many years would that be? Have you been dwelling on this since you were 10? I don't think you are ready to be married. I think he is smart in wanting to wait 3 years. At least 3 years, maybe even 4 or 5. Good luck to you.
2016-05-19 22:31:30 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest that you reconsider giving up your job, friends, etc., for something that does not have to happen. You stated he is considering taking a job out of state - let him know that you would rather not make major life changes before the actual wedding ceremony. If he goes anyway, then count your blessings, he wasn't ready to make a permanent commitment and you won't waste anymore time on a guy that just won't take that last step.
Good luck.
2007-07-06 05:37:02 · answer #3 · answered by Stefka 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That's a fantastic point! Moving with someone is a HUGE deal. Why would he marry you if he has everything he wants anyway?
It sounds like you guys are on the right track to marriage. My recomendation to you is to stay where you live now. To pck up and move for someone who hasn't fully commeted for you is scary and unstable.
Tell him you love him and you want to be with him, and that in order for you to change your entire life and focus it around him will require more assurance.
Good luck!
2007-07-06 05:30:16 · answer #4 · answered by belle 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i wouldnt go with him,i would let things take there natural course,u never know u mite enjoy a bit of space and he may miss u so much that he proposes,if it ends up cooling off then there will be something better suited to you out there
2007-07-06 05:28:33 · answer #5 · answered by liv 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
One year is long enough especially if you have been living together. You may have to give him an ultimatum. Don't be surprised if after all of his promises he backs out.
2007-07-06 05:33:33 · answer #6 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This happened to my boss.
She told him, "I want to know things are serious before I move away."
Now they are married and I'm the nanny for their one year old.
2007-07-06 05:27:20 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should not have moved in with him, huge mistake.
Why buy the cow when you can milk it through the fence.
Ask him if he wants to get married, don't wait.
2007-07-06 05:26:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
i think that you shoulg give him more time, it seems like you are pressuring him to marry you.
p.s... i dont think that you two should have a baby..it wouldnt be a healthy baby because of your ages.
2007-07-06 05:28:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
move and marry right away
2007-07-06 05:26:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋