Im 13, mom makes wear bras w/ much support and coverage, she says I need them. But I don't enjoy them, especially now in the summer. But mom is stubborn. I fought a lot w/ mom over this, got grounded a few times for being disrespectful. Sunday I really lost my temper, got a pair of scissors and in front my mom cut up the bras she gave me. I know this was wrong, apologized but my mom got REALLY mad at me. Punishment: She took me to a lingerie store and got me those bras called long line that covers all of your torso and back have 10 hooks in the back, all of them made of very thich material. I'll have to wear them till Oct 1st, EVERYDAY,They are kinda uncomfortable, much worse than my other bras. I gotta wear all the time, except in bed. Dont you agree this punishment is too harsh and unfair? What do I do now? They make me sweat, I HATE them! Those hooks make me MAD! but I dont know if mom will back off. And if she doesn't back off? How can I live with them, the sweat, and those hooks??
2007-07-06 05:05:47 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
you should have thought about this before acting like a 2 year old. moms know whats best. you live under her roof deal with it . her house her rules. you might not have like the bras she bought you but i can promise you there are alot better than what you thought you wanted, the lacy sexy pretty bras offer no support and very little comfort trust mom on this she has been wearing them alot longer than you. you need a good supporting bra for the health of your breasts. a bra with no support will cause premature sagging do you want that i doubt it and do you want a bra you have to constantly adjust all day to keep the straps up i doubt it. trust mom she knows best
now to the punishment. i think it fits the crime. you were disobedient. what did you expect her to go and buy you what you think you want, i think not.
i am 29 years old and still ask my mom about bras she knows better than i do.i learned very early in life that my mom was the best place fo real answer to this and many other girl problems trust your mom she wont lead you astray
2007-07-06 05:14:05 · answer #1 · answered by kleighs mommy 7 · 3⤊ 3⤋
The punishment sounds a little ridiculous to me. I doubt she will make you wear them all the way to October. It's the beginning of July for cryin out loud!
If the bras are making you sweat, you could very well get a rash from all the sweating. I would watch out for that. An alternative for good support and coverage is SPORTS BRAS. I'm a 44 DD cup and even Victoria's Secret doesn't make bras that big. The sports bra alternative gave me enough support and coverage, and not to mention they're comfortable!
Your mom would be mad about the situation, that you cut up the bras in front of her. When you work, you will gain a sense of the value of a dollar and see that bras aren't so cheap.
As for the hooks, I belive you can take a patch of fabric and wrap it around the hooks so they're not poking you in the back so much. Maybe tough out the punishment for a while, and eventually ask her to back off and buy you some sports bras instead.
2007-07-06 05:32:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Speaking as an older guy - I see nothing wrong with girls who don't wear bras. But seriously...
I would say that yes, you earned yourself a punishment of some sort. Grounding, no cellphone, no allowance, or something...
I think your mom is wrong (but not abusive) to do what she did, and here's why. The idea is to punish you for being disrespectful and destructive (those things cost money, don't sass yo momma!). If it's a struggle to get you to wear bras, making it more painful and uncomfortable isn't going to help with the basic mission of getting you to wear them. All she's done is make you hate them more. Mission NOT accomplished.
If you're 13 and NEED to wear them, then that's something I'd like to see, ha ha. The problem is: not wearing a bra makes a statement, which you may thing is "cool" and grown up. It isn't. (Look around. 30 years ago, lots of young women went braless. Nowadays, very few do.)
Wearing a bra is uncomfortable (so I hear). Tough. Diets, exercise, studying, work, saving money, having kids, etc. are a PITA too, but that's life, nothing you can do except be born rich. Maybe Paris Hilton can skip the lingerie and live the good life but the average Jill can't.
Finally, yes, big ones sag; gravity wins. The wrong guys will chase you at 15 if you wear no bra, but the same guys won't give you a second look at 45 if you've never worn one. You'll thank your mother when you're 50.
Of course, you probably heard all this from yo momma already.
2007-07-06 06:08:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anon 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think having you wear it till Oct 1st is totally unfair. She should have just done this for one month, but not the whole summer!
Thing is, being 13 and a C cup you should be wearing a good supportive bra. And, C cups in bras your size can get pretty pricey.
Talk to her, let her know that you are very sorry. Ask her how much the bras cost and pay her the amount back. Offer to do extra chores if she could take time off of you wearing that bra.
Make sure after you shower you dry yourself thoroughly and put baby powder on.
2007-07-08 13:30:54 · answer #4 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm 25 and I remember at 13 the last thing I wanted was to hear my mom talking about bras. EVER.
I'd say a situation like yours is best handled with compromise. What has happened is already in the past and can now be taken into a way to learn about what to NOT do when you disagree with your mom. What I'm sure you'd like more than anything right now is to not wear those awful bras. And it appears that your mom wants you to have adequate support for your bust and I think that she may be having some angst about the fact that her daughter is now a teenager and is worried about you being too "sexy" in other bras that you like.
I have to say, her punishment was harsh. On the other hand, I think that her feelings and her pocket book may have been hurt when you cut up perfectly good bras.
I think your mom's point was for you to appreciate what you had before the long line bras. From my experience of messing up with my mom in the past is to let her know that the punishment worked and that you learned your lesson. Explain that you did appreciate those other bras better now that you know how these others are. Offer to her an adult solution/compromise. Perhaps you could go together to a lingerie store like and get sized and measured for an appropriate bra that both you and your mom can agree on. Another suggestion is do this with another mom and daughter duo so that you have support from your friend and your mom has support from your friend's mom.
Another solution if it is difficult to approach your mom like it was for me, I wrote her a letter about my feelings and what I had learned. Sometimes I gave her the letter and other times I didn't give her the letter but merely writing the letter gave me preperation for what to tell her when I brought up the subject.
I feel for you. I remember countless times when my mom hounded me about my weight. She'd make me feel horrible! I think one of the most touchy subjects between mother and daughter is appearance.
2007-07-06 06:00:38 · answer #5 · answered by Kelli M 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's probably a bit over the top but have you checked out teh price tags on any of these bras you cut up? Bras are not cheap in any way. Next time I'm sure you will think before you cut up something that she bought you. Maybe after a month of wearing them you could compromise and ask her to wear regular bras again and promise to make do and get used to them and never ever cut them again. Maybe ask if you could go bra shopping with her so you can try o a few different bras so you find some more comfortable ones that fit. I nkow JC penney usually has really good deals on really nice bras.
2016-05-19 22:26:29 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first I don't see what the big deal is about wearing a bra....expecially at 13. Your mom is just doing what she thinksis best. If I did that to my mom, lets just say it would be alot worse. In a month or so they should be getting more comforatable and then you can talk to your mom again about getting different ones....DON'T bring it up untill then, at all. If you do it won't work, trust me. You have to give her time to cool off and forget about the bras....then pounce LoL. Anyways you have to realize though(this part sucks) that she is right and you were wrong. Well good luck!
2007-07-06 05:24:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have to laugh. That really sucks!
Well, your mom probably was trying to teach you that the original bras weren't that bad, and have you ever priced bras? They are expensive! Some as much as 50.00 a piece! I think you have learned your lesson and you should apologize to your mom and let her know that now you understand and appreciate the first bra. When you are old enough to get a job or babysit and have money to buy your own bras, then get what you want. But now you don't have much of a choice.
In short, I do think it was a creative punishment and if it taught you a lesson, then it has served it's purpose and should be concluded.
2007-07-06 05:11:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
It's not only harsh and unfair, but that's bordering on abusive. In your mother's defense, what you did WAS abusive.
But this isn't the answer:
(The reason -why- it is bordering on abusive, (for those who don't seem to understand) is that it is summer, and I'd like to see that person trying to wear a full bodied corset all summer long with clothes on over it and see how many times you get heat-exhaustion, sweat burns or rashes. It is not a responcible punishment, although her point was made; it could have been made by merely showing it to her and telling her that she could choose between that bra or a different bra that would support her chest)
Having clarified that...
If your bra is uncomfortable, then it might be the wrong kind of bra for you to be wearing in the first place.
Compromise;
Promise her that you'll wear something that will offer support and concealment, if she allows you to choose what's comfortable for you.
Tanktops with a support built in are good, as are sports bras, especially at 13, where you are not even fully developed yet.
Your mother is right in insisting you need protection; you can actually get stretch marks if your bust is fairly large, and it can cause back problems; but she's going about it all wrong.
2007-07-06 05:12:05 · answer #9 · answered by redsquirrelpooka 4 · 5⤊ 4⤋
Your mother has your best interest at heart. I would say to go to her, and tell her that you understand why it was wrong to cut the bras up, and why she wants you to wear them. Tell her that you now really do appreciate what she is trying to do for you and that you realize that it could be much worse. Tell her that from now on you will respect her decisions for you, but ask kindly if she can discuss them with you so that you understand them.
2007-07-06 05:45:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋