I have been married 4 years and we have been tough times financially and in-law problems but have managed to keep the marriage happy and healthy. We have two kids a girl and a boy. A few months back she started a new job downtown... everything was going well, she would go out for co-workers for drinks on Friday and so on. but lately she started going out twice a week and coming home in the morning. I did some checking and found out she was having an affair with a guy she works with. She still chases him and lies to me about it. She loves me but is not in love with me ( I feel the same way)and I know that this will happen again. I don't trust her.
I want a divorces but would be the first in my family of 45 marriages to get one. Her family is filled with divorce. Also I am broke and can't afford to live apart. I want my kids to grow up in a happy home so should I just let it go or end it???
2007-07-06 05:03:58 · 13 answers · asked by smith99912 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Thank you for your answers. This has help
2007-07-06 05:58:52 · update #1
End it now, how can the kids grow up in a happy home when you don't have a happy home. Mom is out sleeping around, and you don't love each other. Kids can pick up on this, they know that neither one of you are happy. Even if you are broke, you will find a way to make it work for the kids. I think it would be better to be happy apart, then unhappy together.
2007-07-06 05:11:14 · answer #1 · answered by harold 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok, you have to ask yourself the tough questions, can you live in a loveless marriage, one full of hate, distrust. So what if you'd be the first of your family to get a divorce. Trust me, I think that these marriages are not all that happy either. Kids are very perceptive, they will pick up on your unhappiness, and also wonder why mom is out yet again, and again. This is not I repeat is not a good thing for you or the kids. So my advice to you is to seek some legal help, and leave, end this farce of a marriage, you and the kids don't deserve this. Take care.
2007-07-06 12:13:34 · answer #2 · answered by Cindybear 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Would you consider having a discreet open marriage? This would be a way to remain together for the sake of providing a stable secure environment for the children and yet also be able to have your needs met.
Otherwise, as much as you would rather not, divorce is your best option. Even if she ends this affair, chances are she will cheat again. And once the trust in a marriage has been broken it is very difficult to regain it.
Good luck to you, you sound like a very decent man and it is unfortunate that your wife is unable to appreciate that.
2007-07-06 12:44:39 · answer #3 · answered by Rebecca W 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She actually has given you a way out. A way out of this relationship seems to me that is what you are looking for. Now you have it without feeling guilty. She has given you a reason to leave her. She committed adultery. If you are not in love with her don't sell yourself short and get out. Just because you are not with your children's mother doesn't mean you wont have a relationship with your kids. That will be up to you. It shouldn't matter to you that you would be the first in your family to divorce on 45 marriages. You have to make you happy. You are responsible for your own happiness.
2007-07-06 12:16:39 · answer #4 · answered by g8bell 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you should try marriage counseling before you get divorced. If that is not an option, it is best to not keep the kids in that unhealthy environment. I'm sure that your family and friends will help you through this tough time.
2007-07-06 12:14:01 · answer #5 · answered by jazzviolin 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would end it do you really want your kids seeing what your wife is doing to you? Also when they get older they could do the same thing to their spouse. Just find a job some where and then get an apartment. If you don't really love her then its time to leave. Divorce her and take the kids from her okay.
2007-07-06 12:11:59 · answer #6 · answered by little lou lou 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, this is a no brainer. You need to go and talk to a lawyer, and file for custody of your children.
Realize that your wife is totally self centered, and could care less about you and your family.
The lawyer may want to get a PI to get her on video slutting around with other men, and this would give you another tool to help you get custody, since you seem like someone who cares. . Be sure and protect yoursefl from false allegations, etc.
2007-07-06 13:11:30 · answer #7 · answered by madcat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a trajic situation - I really feel for you.
Don't let the "45 marriages and counting" thing keep you from doing what is right for you and your children. You don't trust her and she is a cheater and a liar. Not such a good role model for your kids.
Reach out to your family to help you right now.
2007-07-06 12:13:17 · answer #8 · answered by banana6464 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to end it. Your kids will soon realize that something's wrong too. Talk to a lawyer, and a financial advisor. Do you have a job? What kind of woman leaves her kids at home to shack up with some man? She's pathetic.
2007-07-06 12:13:33 · answer #9 · answered by ron-D 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you truly want your kids to grow up in a happy home.....
To live one more day in a marriage of infedility and unhappiness or to take that one day and make that decision to make your life better along with your kids? You pick.....
2007-07-06 12:14:24 · answer #10 · answered by Ericka 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋