my bf and i have been having a lot of problems in our relationship, we've been together 3 years and i just found out i was pregnant by him. he wants me to have an abortion. were trying to start fresh and work on our relationship, but now this happend. i don't know what to do?
2007-07-06 04:59:08 · 52 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Starting 'fresh' after 3 years?
Sorry, hun, you aren't starting fresh.......you have a child on the way. What's new is your priorities. A baby has to come first.not some off again-on again boyfriend.
At least give the child up for adoption. If you want the father more than the child, don't condemn the child for your choices.
2007-07-06 05:12:19 · answer #1 · answered by momwithabat 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't ususally say this: But looks like this baby happend for a reason. If I were in your shoes, I would do the right (but hard) thing to do and have the child. Look, babies dont just "happen" honey, its like planting a seed, they grow! Dont rip it out when its only a sprout girl! What I am saying honey is Be Strong! You are an amazing woman and nothing can change that. I can tell by you asking this question that deep down you want to keep this baby! Your boyfriend won't stick around if you have an abortion [trust me it happend to my best friend] Her man said, "Honey please get an abortion, lets start new and put this behind us, Im not ready to be a dad" and after a 5 yr relationship and an abortion HE asked her to get, he walked right out on her, in her time of need. I think your bf might be like him and just not want the responsibility of being a "dad" well guess what? He already is a dad cuz that is his child in you. Don't have an abortion if you think it will make him happy or stick around or love you more, it wont. Honey, be STRONG like the woman I know you are and be a MOM to a living child, not a dead one. Do what deep down you know is right, and what is right for your baby. babygirl, look around! What a blessing it is for you to have a child in your best years! Look at it as a gift not a burden. I have complete faith in you to see the truth. Peace be with you!
2007-07-06 05:12:10 · answer #2 · answered by metalstefl 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't have an abortion just because he wants you to. In the end you'll just resent him for it. And that won't help your relationship either. Just think it over very carefully. Can you live not knowing what life can be with a little part of you running around? Or do you also not want to have the baby. What are the reasons why to keep it and reasons for not? Nobody can answer that but you. If he is not willing to stay together if you do want to keep it, then he isn't worth your time.
2007-07-06 05:36:20 · answer #3 · answered by mtf1214 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Keep the baby. You will regret an abortion, especially since a man is telling you to do it. Just the facts.
Have the baby, and if you don't feel like you can be a loving, caring mother, then allow your baby to be adopted so that it has a chance for a good life.
I am not against abortion as an available option, but would always say that carrying the baby to term is the BEST thing to do.
2007-07-06 05:17:20 · answer #4 · answered by gg 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Because you provided very few details it is difficult to guide you to an answer you are comfortable with. Things like how old are you? What is your living arrangement? Are you working? Is he working? One thing is clear though, your bf is not a very supportive guy. Any man knows that it is a woman choice to make and he will be there for her regardless of what choice she makes. Personally I believe for some teenagers abortion is an option but should not be used for birth control. I can tell you I have women friends in their 40's who choose to abort when they were teens and still cry about it after all this time.
2007-07-06 05:10:42 · answer #5 · answered by chrome_rider 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, think of yourself. If you give up the baby, I can guarantee you that you will question yourself for the rest of your life.
Whether or not you believe in life at conception or right to life, you should know that a baby's heartbeat is detectible at 3 weeks. Christian or not, you should be aware that you will also have to answer to God if you abort the child.
It doesnt matter what your bf wants, he is not the one carrying the baby. Besides, you are not married to him, and you should not marry him until you have your problems worked out.
If you abort, I know the two of you will NOT be together within 6 months to a year. Additionally, you will regret your decision. If you dont believe me, just ask a few women who have aborted their babies.
You must stand firm and tell your bf you are keeping the baby, and if he truly wants to work things out, he will adjust also. In my view the reason he doesnt want you to have the baby is so he doesnt have to support it. But you need to remind him that if you want to play, you need to pay.
Dont do it dear. You will regret it if you do.
Good Luck.
Let me know how things go. I am concerned and interested.
2007-07-06 05:09:23 · answer #6 · answered by Daniel R. 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
you shouldn't spread your legs if you aren't prepared to take on the responsibility of having a child. Regardless of your relationship problems you have made a little life and its not something that should just be thrown away. This is no time to be selfish your child didnt ask for you to make it but you did and now you have to deal with the consequences of your actions if you were to have an abortion its not something you are ever going to forget it will always be in the back of your mind "what would my baby have been, what would it have looked like" and the guilt in the end will eat you alive. My suggestion keep the baby and grow up!!
2007-07-06 05:06:47 · answer #7 · answered by ladydarius20 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
this is probably 1 of the biggest decisions u will eva hav 2 make in ure whole life so think bout how having a baby will affect yiu and your partener and your lifestyles and think about if it would be fair to bring a child into the world with a father that doesnt necessarily want him/her and could you and your partner give this child everything it needs especially a stable family if the answer is no then maybe you shouldnt have the baby. But do you want the baby? If yes then Maybe you should keep it as you havent actualy said how YOU feel towards this baby
2007-07-06 05:05:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
well, I persoanlly am against abortion at all costs so you may not like what I have to say, but I feel that you two were responsible enough to have unprotected sex and take the risk of getting pregnant so you should at least give the child a chance to live. If you two decide that you don't want to raise it then why not choose the adoption method.
There are millions of people who would love the chance to get pregnant, but don't have the opportunity.
Ultimately It is your decision, however please think about killing another innocent child before making any rash decisions...you owe it that much right?
2007-07-06 05:09:32 · answer #9 · answered by CJ&Drewsmomma 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
My question to all women who are wondering whether or not to abort is this.
Are you willing and able to do this by yourself. Close your eyes and picture your boyfriend walking out the door never to be heard from again. He could end up being a dead beat dad who doesn't send child support ever. Can you do it all by yourself? Do you have a wonderful supporting family who can and will help you? Or are they struggling to make ends meet and can't offer you any help at all?
Are you ready to be a single mom?
If you are saying yes, then keep the baby. Tell the boyfriend, without putting any extra pressure on him. (Remember, it's your body, not his. Do what you want to do. But this decision does affect the rest of his life as well, so have a little understanding for his point of view.)
And make an appointment for your ob/gyn. (or call your local govt. assistance office to sign up for health insurance. )
Go to CVS and buy some over the counter pre-natal vitamins to help your baby develop while you wait for your appt.
Good luck.
And remember, do what is best for you. Not him. You.
2007-07-06 05:06:46 · answer #10 · answered by Katie C 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋