What are your favorite Rodney Dangerfield jokes/lines?

Question

I read his autobiography and it was so funny!
He said, "I told my mother I was gonna run away from home, and she said, 'ready, set, go.'"
He also said, "It's a good thing I was a boy., We were so poor if I hadn't been a boy I wouldn't have had anything to play with."

He said:
"When I was a kid I worked in a pet store. I was so ugly too. People would come in, see me, and ask,"Does he get very big?"

Answer 1

The "no respect" line i remember the most was, "I get no respect...me and the wife were in bed the other night, she got excited and screamed HER name!"

Answer 2

no longer precisely what you asked for, yet i admire 'mommy mommy' jokes. a million. 'mommy mommy, why am i working in circles? 'close up or ill nail your different foot to the floor.' 2. 'mommy mommy, whats a lesbian?' 'circulate ask your father, she'll understand.' 3. 'mommy mommy, while will the backyard pond be waiting?' 'close up and shop pissing.' 4. 'mommy mommy, what's dandruff?' 'close up and consume your cornflakes.' 5. 'mommy mommy, will we've grandma for dinner tomorow?' 'no, we nonetheless could desire to finnish grandpa.' ok, thats all i've got been given precise now.

Answer 3

My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend.

Answer 4

LOL thanks for sharing the jokes. His catch phrase line is still my favorite and I use it all the time "I get no respect"

Answer 5

in the movie "Back to School" when he told the english teacher to "call me when you don't have any class".

Answer 6

I remember him so well..he was HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!! his big eyed look helped a lot too! I loved all of his lines!!!!!!!!!