hurt from 2 month breakup?

Question

i need help dealing with this hurt, my ex really hurt me, its been 2 months and it still feels like someone ripped my heart out, she turned against me and pretty much tries to hurt me all the time, but i still miss her, im always trying to piece together what went wrong and in doing that i just get angry, and i know i should just forget and move on, and i have tried but for some reason at the end of the day im back to thinking about her again, i get the odd positive momment where i think nah i don't need her then a few momments later im back to feeling really low, the most common answer is move on, but i am unable to move on, i feel so rejected and betrayed its just so difficult to let go, i either miss her or am angry with her, how do i seal this deal? she mean't so much to me and she kinda still does, how can i switch these feelings off?

Answer 1

By putting yourself FIRST....I know it's hard to move on but, obviously your "ex" has...I understand the pain is there and it will be from time to time when you continue putting in effort into thinking about it..The bottom line is that you can't hold onto to someone who doesn't want to be held...
You deserve someone who wants to be with you and who is not going to hurt you...Someone who can love you equally back or more...You need to keep an open mind and heart about it and begin to learn how to forgive so you can move on completely...Best wishes***

Answer 2

First it's true that you have to move on, but you also have to grieve. It takes a while after you've been hurt to forget and most of all to forgive. It's good that you can angry because it means that you are still feeling. Some people just close themselves up and act like nothing happened. If she left you, don't try to piece the things together to see what went wrong. NOthing has to wrong for someone to stop loving you, it's not YOU it's the way she felt, it's about her not you.
I will give you some hope. My husband was married before me. He was with her for 5 years, worked 2 jobs to make her go through school and one day he came home and she told him to get the hell out of her house...
She got him in court, took everything he had, and started sprending rumors that he was hitting her.
Believe me my husband is the kind of guy that cries at the movies. She did it all because she wanted to look good and not like the bad guy. After that he swore it was over, she even made him believe that she wanted a child with him and had an abortion and told him after the divorce. He was heart broken.
And then he met me. He told me when we first met that his life was over and she destroyed his dream of having a child.
That was 9 years ago. We've been together for 8 years , married for 6 and have a 5 year old son.
We are extremely happy, and what he thought was something that he could never get over, he now realizes that it was a lesson that had to be learn and that leaving him was the best gift she could of given him.
So grieve and don't despair, time heal all wounds and believe me somewhere out there is the right person for you. Just don't give up hope.
good luck

Answer 3

You "DON'T" switch feelings on or off. You are not a robot! You are a real live human being that is hurting. I know the pain. You can be brushing your teeth and an overwhelming feeling of confusion, pain, anger takes over. Best advice I can give you is to MORAN it!! The feelings are real. You cannot get over it until you have gone through it. Do the work. It is hard. Cry!! and Cry some more. Mad? Get to the gym. Hit the pillow. Do not speak bad of her...it reflects on you. This will test your very charactor as to WHO you are. Do not resort to alcohol or drugs. If you are spiritual...LET GO AND LET GOD. If you believe in a higher power...turn to what you believe. Don't pretend the feelings aren't there because you will be dealing with these feelins SOONER OR LATER. Deal with them now. If she is out on the town go to another place. Do not engage with someone who WANTS to hurt you. Know this...hurting people hurt other people. She...in her own reality...is hurting. Maybe it has nothing to do with how you were in the relationship...and maybe it has to do with feelings that she has never dealt with before. Whatever the case...it is not for you to take care of. You take care of you. Write down your feelings and then tear the paper up. Write some more...good or bad feelings...get them out...and tear more paper up.
If you did something wrong...apologize to her...for your own self respect...not with a motive to get her back. After all...she has shown you what she is capable of doing. She would do it again. Apologies are under rated for your own healing. And forgive yourself. You are human!!

Answer 4

Make a list of the good things and the bad things in the relationship. Writing everything down gives you a better prospective of the entire relationship.

Rejection is very difficult to live with and when you add betrayal on top of it, it becomes a double whammy. As time goes by, you are going to end up kissing the ground and be thankful she is no longer in your life.

I know you have this on-going tape in your head that keeps playing over and over again. Every single time the tape plays, replace the thoughts with a pray or a poem or something to stop the tape. This helps a lot.

I wish you the best.

Answer 5

I have been there before........ I know exactly how you feel. You are in mourning over the death of your relationship. Its normal for you to feel like you do... to try and rationalize what happened and on some days you think "Now I can get her back" and on other days you think "Man, I hate her..."

These are all normal feelings. You get a lot of "Get over her" advice from your friends... a lot of "Move on" advice too. Its not easy, is it?

I would tell you that it WILL get easier... it just doesn't seem like it. Depending on how long you were together... or how much you loved her... will tell you about how long it takes to get over her... but even that's not accurate. For me.. and everyone else... its just about time. Time to heal. Time to let go. Right now you are in the bargaining phase... part of you thinks that if you piece together what happened you might convince her that she can come back to you. But... and here's the sucky part... she's probably moved on. At least, that's how you need to think of her.

Give yourself a break... its been 2 months. Let your heart heal.... let yourself mourn her. As the days go by, it'll hurt less and less.... somedays you'll slip and you'll miss her... and other days you won't. Eventually you'll be able to see what you had from a distance, and it won't hurt.

Good luck, bro....

Answer 6

Figure out an interest and pursue it. Join an exercise group - Frisbee, volleyball, etc... Take a class. You should focus on what your passion is in life to move past your hurt. It takes time. Figure out who you were before the relationship and where you want to be in 5 years. Any goals? At least it is a good diversion, and you can accomplish something positive, workout - advance education, and get your mind of it. You will find that it was meant to be, you needed this experience to grow, any you may meet a new division at the class that you are really meant to be with. What you focus on expands, so get out of your funk.

Answer 7

ok, i an going through the same thing, but its been almost 6 months for me..

so,,, first off I always thought that even though she dumped me, she really wanted me back... THIS IS THE FIRST MISTAKE... it's hard but understand, but she is long over you.. she dosen't think about you for more than a second every once in a while.... where you think about her, when you wake up, on your way to work,, when you get home,,, jjust before you go to bed, then you might even wake up at night thinking about her.... SHE IS OVER YOU... SHE DOSEN'T NEED YOU.

SECOND MISTAKE. I thought that she needed me, cause I was the best thing that ever happend to her... SHE DOSEN'T NEED YOU AT ALL.. she is totally independant, and in fact, probably is hangin out having a grand old time.

Just say to yourself, "man she really dosen't need me"... and laugh a little if you have to...

It will still haunt you for a few more months, but that's ok, don't let that stop you from seeing other poeple, let this experiance make you a better person,,, and don't be such a wimp next time... you make it too easy for the woman to leave you,,, next time somone wants to break up with you, say "ok, GOOD, I don't need you anyway!" and leave... she will be dumbfounded and eventually call you back.....

Answer 8

That's such an easy question to answer: start dating a lot of people. Don't go to the places you used to go with her. Try new places, new activities, get out and around and be social! Do that for a year and then go back to where you used to go with her and realize that you've moved on, those were other days, you've made a lot of progress and you'll see that the hurt isn't so strong anymore.

Answer 9

What you feel is a step in the right direction. The truth is you don't need her, you just liked the way things felt while you where with her. Trust me, when you are at peace with yourself you will notice that about all relationships. The key is to build a foundation created from your own personal strenghts and in time you will learn how to build better relationships.

Answer 10

It's either you love or hate, there's only a very thin line that separated the two. If you really love her, try to get back with her, if it doesn't work, atleast you tried your best and there wil be no regrets, that will be the time you can move on!

Good Luck