When does parenting get easier? My son is 18. The older he gets the more difficult.?

Question

He battles us on every front. We are bending over backwards to help him ease into adulthood.

Answer 1

The day it will be easier is the day they put you 6 ft. under - lol, sorry I have a 20 yr old son and 34 yr old daughter

Answer 2

Why should parenting get easier?
Parenting has its ups and downs,so it generally evens out.On the whole parenting should be fun.
From your questions it is obvious that you are having problems with your son.
There seems a lack of communication, and understanding, on both sides.
Many times it helps to change your way of thinking, and adopt a different approach.
Keeping calm, not getting angry, and not forcing him to accept your way of thinking and doing things, helps.
Listen to what he has to say,understand his point of view. For any problem, the more the number of view points the better.
Quite often this alone will defuse the situation.
Agree with him when his views are reasonable and discuss why you think so. When unreasonable, again discuss, why you think so, be firm in your decision, without getting angry ( very important ).
Channels of communication must be kept open.
There is a lot we learn from children, and a lot that children learn from us.
Enjoy your adolescent
Good luck

Answer 3

Well, if he is 18yo then he needs to be out on his own. I mean if he's at university or somethin then bein still at home is ok. But if he gets difficult then he needs booted out.

But regardless, u shouldn't be bendin over backwards to ease him inot adulthood. He should be just plain forced to accept adulthood. U should be tellin him that since he is 18yo he is gonna help with expenses, do extra work at home, and be more responsible with less supervision. And if he don't wanna go along with it, then his bum goes out the door.

Sounds hardass but thats how kids learn. Bein soft on him only lets him think life is gonna treat him all nice and stuff. It just don't work that way. He's gotta learn to struggle to make it just like everyone else does.

Answer 4

My grandparents would tell you that it never gets easier.

Then again, I have a very dysfunctional family, in which the some of the adult (read: 40-50 year old) children rely on the parents for nearly everything.

*Sigh*

Answer 5

... and everytime you bend, he tries to get more.

Solution. Make rules and stick by them.
Those should be adult rules and reasonable. Not meant to control his behaviour, but meant to keep the household livable. That's what 'reasonable' means.

If he remains defiant, you should treat him like an adult: He can leave.
Find him a cheap apartment, pay the first three months of rent and help (=make) him move. Take his key. He no longer lives in your house.

He wants an adult life, take his own decisions.
The best idea is to let him do that, but draw the line where it affects your life.

Answer 6

That's just teenagers. It's just a stage, most boys at that age will start to not need their parents as much, and they think they are ready and set for life. It's just a stage don't worry it's not going to last forever.

Answer 7

Yup-get used to it. I went through it 3 times. But since he is 18 now, you really need to let him start making his own decisions-that is as long as he is either in school full time or working full time and not getting into real trouble.

He is an adult now.

Answer 8

18 years old, still lives at home, ok......BUT, if he's going to be difficult to you, make it less easy for him, don't do his laundry, cook his meals, clean his room, bathroom, etc.....Make him be a man...... If you treat him like a baby he will keep acting like one...... I know as a mother you want to be there for them, but at the same time you can do both, just make him realize what you do. He might change his tune......!! Good Luck, but you can do it, otherwise he will not be leaving the nest anytime soon......

Answer 9

I don't know when it gets easier, but I do know it's beyond 22!