My husband just got home from 8 day trip to China with his MBA class. The group decided to post pictures on Flickr to share. Tonight my husband was showing me some new pictures were posted by one of his friends from the trip. This guy also sent him a personal email. When he opened it, the comment was, "Hope you're not jealous about the picture of Katie and I."
Katie is a single girl in their class, a year or two younger than my husband, and pretty cute. I know a group of them went out a few nights while in China and Katie was in the group with my husband. I know the nights included drinking and being out until 2-3 a.m.
My husband says the comment was meant to be a joke, since his friend knows that he "can't stand" Katie. But the comment included no "J/K" or smiley face or any other comment to make it seem sarcastic.
I know I'm probably being silly. But late nights, cute single girl, different country, drinking.... now this comment? Should I be suspicious
2007-07-05 16:57:10 · 13 answers · asked by Heather L 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I can fully understand your suspicion. I'm sure most of us would take a little pause and think "hmmmmm".
But I think it's not something to really get concerned about. As a man, I will tell you that even though a man is happily married and has no intention of cheating, there are times when he might say something to another man about how attractive or "hot" a woman is.
To me, this is(or at least should be) not threatening. For the most part it's just two guys being macho and goofing around and doesn't mean he would cheat or even seriously think about it.
I believe if he's involved in things he shouldn't be, then It will become obvious to you. Until that time, don't fall into an untrusting frame of mind. It's easy to start down that road and it doesn't lead to a nice place
2007-07-05 17:08:27 · answer #1 · answered by ∞ sky3000 ∞ 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, I would think his friend would have more consideration for his married friend and it doesn't make sense for him to think that your husband would be jealous unless of course there are some missing peices you don't have yet.....I wouldn't call in the bomb squad just yet though, I would wait and not let him know that you are suspicious just yet. What happens in the wash usually comes out in the rinse and men think they are so slick but they aren't. I think you should hold tight and watch to see what else happens. Prepare for the worst and hope for the best. I see how your suspicious what kind of a friend is that?? Best Wishes to you ..and hold tight more may or may not come..you will know what to do when it does.
2007-07-06 00:04:13 · answer #2 · answered by Nale 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's the problem with long trips away from your spouse. You can get into trouble. You either did the no no or are suspected of doing it. I can't think of a way you could find out for sure what happened. No body that went with your hubby would tell on him, they are all on his side. Guess you should just be keeping an eye on his email, IMs and phone calls. Watch for suspicious behaviors. Go on line and research the signs and symptoms of adultery.
2007-07-06 00:03:52 · answer #3 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hun, based only on what you've written, I'd say you are justified in your feelings - most women would be concerned about the trip, etc.. HOWEVER, the comment and pic could be a joke and mean nothing... I'd say to think of how you know your husband, your instincts, and watch future behaviors... maybe even bring up the trip to friends of his when they are around and see if anything else pops out..
There are no "red flags" in just what you've written, though most women would also be concerned... just be watchful.. see if there is any more to the story.
2007-07-06 00:02:22 · answer #4 · answered by Wildflower 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
As it seems you need more evidence first before you get suspicious.
Just because he is in a situation that he can cheat does not mean that he would. He can cheat at work, every time he goes out, and even every time that you leave the house, that does not mean that he will! Trust him and keep one eye open. If you have confidence in you marriage and his love for you then you would not think he will cheat on you just because he has the means to.
2007-07-06 00:07:01 · answer #5 · answered by LayLay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. You should be suspicious. When the cat is away, the mouse will play. Especially MBA types. I know, I am married to one. Different country, drinking, men w/o wife supervision. Where there is smoke, there is fire. Be on alert.
2007-07-06 00:02:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What you describe in and of itself does not sound like you should be suspicious. If there are other things that in addition would make you wonder then perhaps. Also a college age man seldom would write "J/K" or just kidding. I wouldn't worry about it if I were you.
2007-07-06 00:03:05 · answer #7 · answered by dkrgrand 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should just trust him. Sitting there picking the situation apart is just going to make you paranoid, for something that probably never happened. Unless he has given you a reason not to trust him before, give the guy a break. He loves you, otherwise he wouldn't have married you. Just trust him.
2007-07-06 00:05:07 · answer #8 · answered by angela 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like his friend was worried that your husband would be jealous....which isn't good.
I'd be very suspicious.
2007-07-06 00:13:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
keep an eye on things...if your gut is telling you something...listen. But don't accuse him of anything...
just keep your eye on things...
2007-07-06 00:00:39 · answer #10 · answered by makinitthru 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋